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Hi sisters,
This relates to my “finding a good divorce attorney thread”, but I thought this might be worthy of it’s own topic, esp for sisters sorting through forums. So, long story short, I’m dissatisfied with my current attorney. (And most of you know I’m a go-with-the-flow kinda girl).
So I scheduled 2 appointments with 2 female attorneys. One I saw when I first interviewed attorneys. Liked her. Ended up going with my current attorney due to a friend’s recommendation. These appointments will cost me $200 each. I’m hoping it’s money well spent, at the very least, for second opinions. So here are my very important questions:
1. What’s a good way to approach the interview without coming across as someone “who can’t be satisfied?”
2. For those of you who have been down this road, I don’t have a second retainer fee at the ready. Any ideas for obtaining money, should I decide to switch? Wondering if I can take money out of an IRA (which is still a marital asset) if I document it and don’t hide it?
3. Is it common to not get any sort of bill from an attorney during the process? I’m concerned because I’ve asked for at least a 4 month interim bill (as of a month ago), over and over, and I have repeatedly been ignored.Help please. I’m so nervous about short term money, as I was basically cut off by douche bag. But I also know we have significant assets, so it’s worth the fight…it’s the rest of my life.
HI ZG,
Let’s start with a big hug!
I don’t know much about the money questions but I’ll take a shot and #1.You need to say what it is you want from the attorney. LIke, you don’t trust him at all, and don’t want your lawyer to trust him or what he’s telling his lawyer. You need every cent you can get from him and he has already tried to cut you off to create desperation so you will settle for something less. Will this lawyer understand those priorities for this case? Will this lawyer truly be your Advocate? And that you will need her professional assessment when she’s pushed as hard as is possible.
ZG,
It’s very important to have an attny who advocates for you and is prompt about returning phone calls ect. If they blow you off or send a Jr all the time it’s not good.My attny was the highest recommended attny in town. I ask lawyers, judges, lawyer friends, paralegal friends, clients. She was a gem. I told her right off the bat I wouldn’t ever speak to her paralegal, only her. I would only talk with her on the phone or in person to keep up with the case. I met with her in person about every three weeks for 1-2 hrs. She made these working appts and we’d get alot done together plus I was always up on my case. I would just call and make an appt and we’d work together. I felt like we were a team. She was up front honest, Very thorough, smart, and very well repented by everyone, also very hard working. She worked 12 HR days and has been a divorce attny for 25 yrs. Strong work ethic and she just told me as it was.
As far as the money, the lawyer can advise you how to access your money during the divorce. ESP if you have joint assets. My divorce cost $25,000 and she was worth every penny. She never did any crazy charging like some do. She was $225 an HR.
I hope you find one you like and who will work with you closely on your divorce ZG.
Love, Nap
One atty billed me faithfully each month, another never sent one at all. My retainer covered each that both required. It was post divorce stuff that I used them for, not the actual divorce.
Ask how they bill.
Do they call back in a prompt manner or do they prefer emailing?
What’s their experience with money hiders, dealing with opposing counsel’s sa client in general
How do they deal with OC filing silly motions at their clients request (think Teri’s husband)
Are they more concerned with getting it done or keeping the peace with OC? (In the event your H tries to drag things out)We’ve spent hundreds of thousands on our divorce SO FAR.
No idea about the retainer- I am in the same boat. de has the joint checking down to nothing and I don’t know how to access the investments. Plus my daughter needs me to cosign for housing so they will run a credit check- so I need to not be in the red. So I’ll be interested to know what you find out about coming up with the retainer.
Is the retainer from your first attorney refundable? I only get statements sporadically (from both attorneys). My last attorney never sent a final statement. I was told not to bother asking for my retainer back or I’d probably get a bill instead.
From what I understand, most attorneys are well-acquainted with how their colleagues conduct business. I just had to say my first attorney’s name and they laughed and said “Everybody leaves her.” My second attorney has been very ill which is widespread knowledge, so no issues there. But I think focusing on what you need- if you give an example of what didn’t work for you, you can always say you aren’t saying this to bad-mouth the other attorney but to demonstrate what didn’t work for you, so you are taking the responsibility.
Such a mess to have to do this, Julie. I know what a hard decision this is and how it adds more anxiety and worry on top of everything else. I wish I had more answers for you.
Thanks, Teri,
I’m sorry for your mess too. You are so right; an unanticipated huge anxiety. i just hope after I interview these 2 attorneys, I feel something in my gut that tells me the right decision. And then I hope I can figure out how to access money if I need to make a change. Good times. Not. Big hugs to you!!I read these posts with special interest. I thought these problems were only happening in South Africa.
I think it is world wide problem. Men bitch because their wife cheats and they end up paying alimony, child support, and leaving the home. Women bitch because their H’s cheat and they can’t get enough to live on.
Marriage should remain a rite of whatever church you believe in. The marital contract should be iron clad and enforceable in a court of law.
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