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I just arrived home from yoga class and found the divorce summons stuck in my door. A neighbor must have let the server inside the building.
My first reaction: I can’t believe the asshole is divorcing me after all the shit he pulled and pain he put me through. For what, a better life? His Facebook page Likes the Miami Dolphin Cheerleaders, subscribes to raunchy women’s pages and recently is friends with the Smashley Girls, a Facebook page that offers live sex cams. I just can’t help feeling like somehow I did not measure up. How can he just dump me like this?
Venue is based on Plaintiff’s residence, which is where he used to live before he skipped town and left me with all the bills and living expenses.
I know that I am better off, but I never imagined going through a divorce especially with this level of callousness.
Thanks. I am better off. What a cold hearted jerk. I gave him so much and he is treating my like he doesn’t even care if I get hit by a bus.
That is how I feel. I hate him. I feel tricked. I fell for his act. I feel so utterly disappointed in myself. I forgave him and gave him 3 and 4 and 5th chances. Why did I stay?
Bren,
This is what they do when they have lost their mind. You have yours and you will have a wonderful life without his sorry, sick ass. I promise. It’s just the shock that it hard to get over….. but you will.
Deb
Thanks. It just hurts. I never imagine that by being loving, committed, honest, and true that someone would actually want to divorce me. This is all so twisted.
Yes, you are normal and loving and true. That is why you will never understand him. What honest person could understand them?
Well, my dear Bren. He taught you a valuable lesson. The next time someone lies or cheats on you they don’t get another chance to reload the gun. Loving and loyal is only good to a point…the point of abuse. After that point it is emotional suicide. It is a very hard lesson to learn….as most of us found out the hard way. I hate your husband. He is a slug. You are going to be ok…because you are good, loyal, honest and loving.
Karen xx
Karen xxCan’t stand him. Just another boring, predictable, narcissistic, sexually disappointing sex addict/compulsive.
I’m sorry it’s so hurtful, Bren.
We simply cannot explain the unexplainable. It’s horrible. Unreal. Tragic. Catastrophic. Unfathomable. Inconceivable. Believe me, honey, we understand even if no one else possibly could.
I witnessed my exSAH go from nice as pie, sweet, kind, understanding, generous, and caring (when he thought he was winning me back) to a cold, calculated, sneering, snarky bastard (when he realized I was moving forward) right before my eyes. If I wouldn’t have seen it myself, I wouldn’t have believed someone’s description of the transformation.
I am Sooo sorry for you!! I wish there was something we could say or do to make you feel better- but I can promise you- better times are ahead and you will eventually be so relieved to get this SA monkey off your back FOR GOOD.
And YOU, will be a survivor!!!
XOXO!!
Sneering, cold, calculating, deceptive, dishonest, ugly, dirty, slimy, untrustworthy, abusive,manipulative, hurtful,blaming…..these are the words that describe who they are. Its just so disturbing.
Dear Bren,
so sorry for the pain of the summons. but if theret is any siliver lining here, i think that him ending the marriage is far less painful than someone claiming “recovery recovery!” I am better I love you, and then disappoint all over again. Divorce hurts, but it’s final. you are off the merry go round. it just stings right now.
i think we all wrestle with why did i, or do i, stay? i have no clear answers, but the many reasons we stay, are often pragmatic and valid.
he just couldn’t fool you any more. you will recover bren. it just smarts. he’s not doing anything different. don’t worry.
I am so sorry sweet Bren ~ you are way too good for the likes of him. He is reinforcing this by his actions.
Of course you are in unimaginable pain right now, but, you WILL get through this You are going to look back someday and see that this is the beginning of a better life for YOU.
He only cares about himself and by treating you this way, he is only proving that he is a coward. He will NEVER be able to love anyone in a healthy way ~ but YOU will. So, you are way ahead of him. You are/were/will be enough.
Love,
DeborahI am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing tonight. I hope you come to see the divorce papers as your Freedom Papers. A future without SA is what we are all desperately seeking and he just gave you your ticket to Freedom! Eat some thing delicious, drink something wonderful and dance by yourself to your favorite song. The future is yours and it will be wonderful because you are wonderful. It is your turn now Bren! I will say a prayer for you tonight.
Thank you for your understanding and support last night. Thank you for being there for me when I really needed you. I had my moment and now I must be strong and reclaim my life. I knew the divorce summons was in the works but his attorney was supposed to send the papers to my attorney’s office. At this point, I need to kick it in high gear and show myself and the world what I am made of.
That’s the spirit, Bren. He has shown his true colors again and again. He is not going to change and become an honorable man. He is a con-man who charmed and stole from you. Protect yourself.
Those real world reminders like the divorce papers can hurt so much. I used to hide all of it away- I couldn’t look at them. It felt like every word was screaming at me. Now I can look at every cruel document he has sent accusing me of everything from adultery to extortion to telling my son he’s a pedophile and laugh. That divorce summons will not bother you in the future, Bren. It will be a relief- a sign of your freedom, what you escaped from. Hang in there, Bren.
I’m so sorry that you’re hurting right now Bren. I like what Trish said – these are your “freedom” papers, not just divorce papers. Freedom to move forward and flourish.
Bren,
The same happened to me. Came home one day and the locks were changed. I was handed a plastic bag of my belongings. I went to a hotel and on the 7th day I was delivered divorce papers. Married 25 yrs. Lived at the hotel 5 mo during the divorce. He got fired from his 6 figure job 1 mo before the divorce ended, no support alimony…..it was all very painful and traumatic at the time. Now I realize what’ve gift he gave me. It feels really good to benon my own and starting over. It really was a blessing in disguise plus it tell you just how ruthless they really are. You deserve love and respect Bren. We all do and we all choose who we want in our lives. We choose the good we can trust and avoid the toxic people who hurt us.Love, Napxo
Thank you both for your support and compassion. Your right Teri, he is con man who charmed and stole from me. I see his true colors. I am free of the deceits and lies and treachery.
Teri, I need to remind myself of the horror that your H has put you and your son through. Why should I expect anything good from mine now?
I feel the fighting spirit today. I am just going to keep telling myself that this is a blessing. That these are my freedom papers.
You Go girl! And you have an army of sister’s behind you to help with all the in’s and out’s of a divorce!!! Hang in there!!
NAP,
I just saw your posting. It sounds like you went through something so similar … an experience so devoid of normal feelings surrounding an ending of a relationship and a divorce. I know that you must have felt devastated. My God. Your story gives me goosebumps it is so familiar.
The server just snuck in my building and banged on my door trying to serve me. I told him to go away that I would not answer the door … that we arranged for it to go to my attorney. He stuck it in my door again. I called my attorney and she said that it is not a proper service. They are not supposed to sneak in my building and serve me through the door. She responded to his attorney with a very strong email that this is not good … that this could have been avoided had she returned her call.
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