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Found a great FBI article on psychopathy…he has all the traits: “The term psychopathy refers to a personality disorder that includes a cluster of interpersonal, affective, lifestyle, and antisocial traits and behaviors. These involve deception; manipulation; irresponsibility; impulsivity; stimulation seeking; poor behavioral controls; shallow affect; lack of empathy, guilt, or remorse; sexual promiscuity; callous disregard for the rights of others; and unethical and antisocial behaviors.”
Arleigh, I’ve got the same revisionist history going on here, and I know how awful it is to have someone else reinvent your story to make you out a monster when it’s bad enough what we go through with our history obliterated by their lies and finding out about their secret life. It adds a whole new level of betrayal on top of betrayal. He has reinvented the entire 24 years. Even our wedding.
I got the stayed out of pity story, too. Oh, yeah, don’t do me any favors, dr e. Fuck you. The crap they do. They are so fucked in the head.
Yeah, he shifted it so cleverly, he’d ask me in a serious tone “…does person X *know?*” Meaning do they know about the plan b, after 15 years of saying almost nothing about it. After fucking hookers, lying and all the rest. The whole thing became about whether ppl “knew” about what I supposedly did, and in the same breath he said the hookers were a “nonissue in our marriage” and all that was “recent” while we had “problems going way back.”
Yep, they think it excuses everything. He didn’t even WANT to marry me. More evidence for fraud, I think, because he sure never told me (although he claims he did- right…).
Cowards!!!! Saying they “stayed” (hell yes they did, they had it MADE in these marriages to wonderful women with beautiful amazing children) because they felt sorry for US!?!?!!?
Right. Look how sorry the feel for us now, when we need some empathy. I cry bullshit. They stayed because all their needs were met and then some. They stayed because we kept their lives comfortable while they used us as fronts. They stayed because it was E-A-S-Y living and gave them time to spend on their penises without the whole world seeing them for what they are.
When mine said “I do have a sense of marriage, and yes, I broke my vows, but I did not abandon you” I answered “so you thought that was doing me a favor? Hell no, what wife wants a man who cheats but doesn’t have the guts to leave?” He got furious and busted up some plates and ran out the door saying “I do not have to listen to this abuse”.
The truth is always abuse when we say it, but that doesn’t make it any less true, I say.
They should all join Psychopaths Anonymous. That’s probably the only 12 step group that would be close to a reality check and it doesn’t even exist.
They’d just give each other tips on how to lie, manipulate and not get caught. Kind of like what happens at SA 12 Step Groups already.
Bottom line these guys do not care about us. They care about themselves and will do whatever serves them best at the time. Making a deal with them is like making a deal with the devil. There is no morale compass, no commitment, no remorse for the great pain they put us through. Yet they want this “second life” to be secret, they want everyone to think they are upstanding folks. It truly is crazy. I believe in accountability. I believe in justice and I believe in Karma. May we all break free of this as we do not deserve it. No one deserves this.
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