EMDR?

Thanks for the input, Marian. :o) I’m looking forward to trying it. It’s good to know that it’s worked so well for you. Just out of curiosity, when you go through the actual treatment sessions, are you brought to a kind of breaking point (fully experiencing the pain) and then a point of letting it go? I’m still a little confused as to how it actually works- I get that you’re thinking of the event or image while doing the eye movements, but I’m not clear on how deep into the pain you’re going, if that makes any sense…

Had my first EMDR session today- I know it’s , too early to tell, but it *seems* as though it may be helpful. I think there’s going to be alot of back and forth as far as the severity of the emotions, and my therapist said that’s normal. My therapist uses a light box where I have to follow moving lights with my eyes. The first time that she had me think of what I wanted to work on and view the image in my head (in my case, a fairly graphic image of one of my husband’s encounters with a “masseuse”), then turned the lights on, the emotions briefly intensified, but after I watched the lights for awhile, my mind moved on to other things. When she stopped the lights, she asked me to think of the image again, and see if anything had changed. I found that I couldn’t “see” it as clearly anymore, but it was still there. We worked on that image again, and parts of it came back, but then it morphed into something else… through further working on other things and watching the lights, some other things came to the surface that I wasn’t even consciously aware were bothering me… it was kind of strange, but I can already see how it could work over time, not just to “neutralize” haunting memories, but also to identify other things that I’ve been pushing down and need to work on…

I think the EMDR continued to work last night. I had a bit of a “break”, I guess you could call it. I finally cried, I mean REALLY cried hard, for the first time since D-Day. I mean, I’ve had a few tears here and there over the past three weeks, but nothing like last night. I really felt lke I was dying inside. I certainly didn’t enjoy it, but I needed it… I was having a rough time when I first woke up this morning, but I’m doing a little better now. The hope is starting to come back. Then again, that might be partly because of my husband’s reaction to my break down. Initially, I think he was scared, because he tried to put his arm around me, but I didn’t react favorably and he left the room. A little later, I asked him to hold me, but then I started crying and shaking again, and he started crying as well. This morning, before he left for work, he took my hand and said, “Let’s pray.” (a week or so after D-Day, I requested that we start praying together each morning. The first several days, he held my hand, but didn’t say anything out loud. Eventually, he reached the point where he could add a few things after I was done asking for whatever I wanted to ask for.) and then he actually *started* praying for things, because he could see that I was not in any shape to even think straight, let alone pray. This may sound weird, but I think that was a big step for him.

As usual, I’m getting off track.

Back to the EMDR- We’re a military family, and my husband is doing his therapy on base, while I’m doing mine off base. My therapist told me yesterday that she wished they used EMDR out on the base, as she thinks it might be helpful to my husband as well. Anyone know if EMDR can be helpful to the SA as well? I don’t *think* mine suffered any particular trauma as a child or anything (at least nothing that he’s consciously aware of), but I strongly suspect that his mother’s treatment of him is responsible for the way he is. She’s very controlling and all about appearances. I have a feeling that he wasn’t really allowed to cry or express any emotions that would tarnish the image she was putting on for everyone… It really saddens me, because I look at our youngest child, who reminds me so much of my husband, but is the sweetest, most empathetic child you could ever meet (although I do see the whole instant gratification thing in him, but I guess that’s okay because he’s only 6), and I really feel like my husband started out that way- I still see those qualities in him…