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well. i now know that it wasn’t just me. exsah and current roommate (she’s teacher at private school, and also gay) theatened to call the police.
he was acting like a controllling ahole. banged on her door. insisted she speak with him. she said no. thereatened to call cops. complaints as
“she feels like prisoner in home, with all rules he has”
“she was so frightened she was shaking.”don’t you know, it’s all her. too bad. she was a perfect roommate financially. and still, he does not see his aggressive and scary behavior.
my dilemma is i dont’ know if i should reach out to her. i wanted her to know it’s him, not her. and she should look for someplace else to live. he likely cannot have a female roommie. if any.
one more report to the police, if it does indeed go there, perhaps the DA will finally pick up the charges. and see a pattern and problem. i don’t know if she will report or not.
it is not healthy living. she is scared of him also.
whattaguy. comments?
I MIGHT call her and encourage her to go to police and file…I am just considering your daughter having to be around the jerk. The more documentation you have the easier it will be to protect her if you need to….
He is a complete nut case and volatile.
great point Bev. i was thinking the same.
you know in his mind he does own her. because it is “his” property she lives in. she is nothing. she is a check. and has no rights or enforcement of how she wants and expects to live.
the batterer mentality at its core. entitlement and control to the utmost — no others have rights or needs but them, and it is all justified in his mind.he is in such denial about his behavior. i reminded him of the risk of another police report. he actually said”what’s the risk.”
I say “you have a history.”lest we forget so soon? me and his daughter haven’t. we likely never will
pam, i would stay out of it. stay out of his drama as much as possible… let him clean up his own messes. it’s you i care the most about, your safety and your well being. which, i think, means staying away as far as possible. he might even be doing this to her to get to you…
If she files a police report you should be able to get it online without involvement on your part, at least you can here in my town. I agree with Lisa, it would probably be best if you stay out of it but at the same time be looking for any reports she files so you can build your custody case, etc.
OMG – he’s a raving lunatic. I’d like to see you stay as far away from him as possible. Please??????
Deb
I can totally understand wanting to reach out to her. You know what he’s like, and she is just finding out. We all want to spare someone else what we have been through.
But legally, it’s probably better if you didn’t reach out to her. He might try to say you two were conspiring against him or setting him up.
I’m reading my words and thinking how sick is that? I am telling you not to reach out and help a woman in potential danger. But you also need to protect yourself and your daughter.
Pam, let your gut and your conscience be your guide.
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