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well I haven’t left yet… I am though actively interviewing with companies back in florida and i’m pretty sure one of the 4 will come through. Once it has, then I am packing and going. The only good thing is the therapist here fully admits that the husband is a SA and is in denial. He also has him seeing a specialist and we are no longer in couples counseling- just one on one counseling (each of us with a different counselor) to help get me back on the right track.
Slowly but surely I will get away. I will be happy again. I will enjoy activities again that I used to love (instead of just wanting to sit on the couch).
hugs to everyone
Starwinkle – it is so wonderful to hear that you are getting free of this! You are making the right decision, no question about it – don’t ever doubt that. The sadness and the depression are so hard, but I believe they will pass once we escape from the situation (I’m one week in to separation, already starting to feel better).
My SAH did the “why are you bringing stuff up from a year ago” thing too, all the time. He would manipulate me into thinking I had no right to bring it up, talk about it, or still have emotions about what happened “months ago” – even though that’s how long it took me just to get over the shock. Do not listen to that crap!! It doesn’t matter if he did it while you were engaged or after you were married (although he probably did both) – what matters is that he is capable of it – capable of those activities, and capable the cruel lying and deception and the manipulation. That doesn’t change because of a ring or a piece of paper. You are so doing the right thing. You are sparing yourself years of misery. Go girl, we are all applauding for you!
Whatever you do Starwinkle do NOT get involved with him or his therapist. They will feed you a line of bull about how this can be fixed and how you can have a better relationship. That is hogwash. Your only chance of a better relationship is to get away from him and start over with a normal man. Take heed of JoAnn’s story. It could be you down the road with your dreams in tatters and the police at your door. I will not feel better until you are out of there. Karen xx
Or God forbid you have children with him…….
You are not stupid. Take the dogs and leave. Let him worry over the lease or whatever. You do NOT want to wind up at my age with 2 kids and the SA….
stay strong Starwinkle. keep the therapists seperate, and agreed with KMF do not get involved with his therapy! they lie in there also. just keep close to the truth —
i think its pretty funny your sa is calling it a “communication problem” it sure is. he is secretly communicating with other women–and letting his penis run the show. that’s the communication issue. and nothing more.
go on, get out, be free, –he’s gonna try hard. and yes, he will use the dogs as bait. take them, while he is out, and go.
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