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One more vent today…at least, I hope it’s just one more.
The attorneys are finally getting around to negotiating our holidays- I tried to get it started back in October after the Austin Xmas fiasco last year. His attorney finally got back late last week. So I still don’t know about Thanksgiving, what the visitation schedule will be.
And since I spent 4 days with the kids in Austin in a hotel last Xmas so he could spend the holidays with them and his family, I wanted to take the kids to see my family this year. But since it’s getting to be so late, plane tickets are scarce and over $1000 a person. So we could drag out this negotiation and maybe come up with days for the trip but no way to get tickets. So I gave up on that dream. My daughter is upset because she hasn’t seen family in 4 years. It’s been 18 mos. for Bat and me. doc e has almost all his family here in town, so he doesn’t care. He can see them any time.
I’m so tired of my life being held hostage by him. He gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants AND he gets to say if Bat and I get to do anything. I hate feeling like I have to crash some other family’s holiday, and I am not in a place where I can cook a whole big dinner on my own just yet. My friends have always come through for me, but it isn’t the same as having someplace you always belong.
Three years and it’s over, three years and it’s over, three years and it’s over…
OMG Teri…It’s just sickeningly tragic how much sheer WASTE these losers cause…wasted money, wasted emotions, wasted time, wasted experiences, all because of their corruption and disordered penis activities. Never thought there was so much that one person could actively ruin.
Arleigh- it’s gotten where I dread the holidays. I have to ask permission from doc e to go anywhere. Vacations, too. Because it always impacts visitation. So he can decide whether or not we can go and what we have to give up to get his approval.
That’s hellish. I wish there was something you could do, but no doubt you’ve been down every path and checked every option. It’s astonishing that what he’s done (including soliciting prostitutes, which must be a crime in your state as well as mine) hasn’t affected the visitation situation more than it has.
I feel this too Teri. My son is leaving me for two days. But has to be dropped off at night because his father hasn’t has a home veal yet? How does he get away with taking a baby all day in the cold and neglecting him?
I had to cancel Thanksgiving plans to go see my sister and her new baby in Maine. Yet he wants to take the baby to Conn?
I will find out if the judged allowed this later.
My lawyer is a bit of flake and yet I don’t have money to switch. She’s good- but doesn’t get back to me on things.Anyway sorry I am venting about me! I feel this way too.
The family court system is a disgrace!Teri, buy the plane tickets for Christmas and just go. Tell your attorney where you are and how you can be reached. The night before the flight put it on the calendar for doc e. Just fucking go. It’s not like you are kidnapping Bat. Give your attorney your itinerary. Send a copy of it to doc e and COPA too.
He had Christmas last year so you get it this year. What else can he do? Just buy the tickets and go.
Be sure and put on the calendar the days that Bat is free for doc e and family.
If you need to buy the tickets early and him not know then I will loan you the money. Call me…..we can work it out.
I agree. There’s no way they’re going to agree to anything fair. Bev, you’re so smart and just an awesome sister!
Can you come over here and kick Dans’ ass for me. You know, scare the living shit out of him using that soft southern drawl? Please,pretty please ?
Teri, how old is your son? This is a sincere question, why do you have to wait three years? Is your son 15? Why do you have to wait until he is 18? Are the laws where you live consider him a minor until then? I read most of your posts but sometimes get confused. Is it because of his medical condition?
Kids don’t really get any say until they are 18 if dad wants to be a dick, from what I understand? Although I have gotten mixed messages.
Just got back from the grocery- I had to go ahead a buy even though I still don’t know what we are doing. I haven’t had such a hard time in the grocery for a long time. Had to struggle to keep from crying and hyperventilating.
Go ahead and plan T’giving for yourself and Bat ( and whoever else you want). Go right now and put it on the calendar. Note the time and the fact that you have not heard from doc e.
If he shows up tomorrow answer the door and tell him to go check the calendar. Don’t even let Bat have to look at him.
If he continues ringing the bell or knocking then call the cops. Have your copy of the dn calendar and a copy of the custody papers.
Play offense and if he drags you into court later then so be it.
You can do this!!
Teri, just have your thanksgiving with Bat. I agree with Bev. Put it on the calender, don’t answer the door or phone. Block his calls for the day. In NM at 12 the kids get to decide where they want to go. Not so where you are?
Monique,
TX law says kid’s feelings are “taken into consideration” starting at age 13. But it’s up to the judge what that means. Bat’s feelings didn’t get considered at all in the custody evaluation.I think I am not answering calls, emails, or texts today. Bat would have a meltdown if he found out he has to go with doc e rather than spend tomorrow at his friends’ house. I’m not doing that to him.
You do that. I am so sorry Teri. I hate that man. This is so unfair to Bat and to you. I know the stress that this kind of shit causes. Be kind to yourself, and I wish you a peaceful holiday my friend.
Hugs
MoniqueTerri my son was supposed to not be with me for Thanksgiving- and yet he is still. His father never called. Now I am waiting if he will take him for an overnight- so crazy.
My dad used to do this kind of game, too, where we never knew if he would show up or not. On the one hand, we were better off not being around him and his porn and sex. On the other, the being kept in limbo and him not showing up left different scars.
Happy American Thanksgiving everyone. I am so glad Raiden is 16. He blocked his sperm donor’s number on his own initiative after finding out about his disappeared education fund and the slashed tires on our car. He stated also he will NOT (for the first time) be going to sperm donor’s mothers house either on Christmas or Boxing Day for dinner, and since he is 16 sperm donor cannot pressure him into it either, thank goodness. That whole family is evil. Raiden can’t stand any of them anymore, his eyes have been opened as to what they are all about.
I didn’t know that in your state, Teri, that your son Bat’s father could have so much control over him until he is 18. That just seems really overreaching. People get MARRIED and have kids at that age, he should be able at 15 or 16 to decide if they want to see their father or not. Wow.
Teri, I COMPLETELY agree with Bev. Make your plans, buy your tickets and just GO. No judge is going to interpret it that you interfered with visitation because you went home for xmas- not when you were with his family last year. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. JUST GO. That is my sincere advice and don’t let him know until u are on your way.
I hope you went Teri. Bev is right. You are in Civil Court not Criminal Court. Worst case scenario you are: violating the temporary Order. As long as you tell him where you are/how you can be reached and when you will be back you are not breaking any laws. Wait until the last hour and email the info to your exN/SA and bcc your Attorney. Then turn your phone off and enjoy. These Bastards are all about Power & Control. I pray they all die quickly…very painful deaths or better than that: penile cancer!
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