Home › discussions › Divorce › Filing – grief and second guessing
- This topic has 31 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 7 months ago by
daisy1962.
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September 20, 2013 at 4:06 am #109692
972
MemberIt ain’t a party til something gets broken 🙂
Debora, you have enough get broken, party on.
You talked with me when I first joined SOS. You helped me realize that this was not my fault. I am thrilled you are taking the steps. I will always say a ‘thank you and blessing’ prayer for you each night.
September 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm #109693daisy1962
MemberDebora, I have that song on my Broken Heart play list. I love me some Bonnie! The Bonnie song I REALLY love and is my anthem is “I Will Not Be Broken”.
September 20, 2013 at 12:37 pm #109694teri
ParticipantAbout them promising not to “cause any more pain”- how on earth would they be able to judge that given that they don’t think screwing skanks would cause us pain?
And it looks like he’s already trying to take control with the surreal cookware thing. Beware of him keeping you hooked with discussions of what to do about division of property. Tell him to just go make a list and you all can deal with it later. (Speaking from experience here.)
Deborah, I think it could very well get worse before it gets better. But I think you are going to be so much better off when you get through it.
September 20, 2013 at 12:46 pm #109695debora
ParticipantOooh, that was a good starter for the day!! A pizza party and a new song to kick off my recover Debora project.
Thanks Daisy 🙂
September 20, 2013 at 1:15 pm #109696debora
ParticipantThere is no trust here. The danger for me in too much ” let’s just keep this lawyers out of it” talk about money is that I was always afraid of his bullying so I backed down or I FEEL SORRY for him when he says he’ll have to work until he dies and how he isn’t strong anymore. He even made the comment that he’s insulted that I got a lawyer because I needed a man to protect me.
Yes, I do.
Last time I spoke with my attorney “friend”, who is a side counselor, I suggested taking his business off the table to keep things civil. He quickly said NO!
My H made me a pretty fair rough offer though, assuming all his CC and business debt and assuming the 2nd mortgage (which is mostly my car) So, it is nearly a wash anyway. The property values are straight up 50/50.
Where it will get a little sticky is taking my share of the value of his many toys. It’s not a huge value, maybe ten thousand, it’s the principle that he let me go without things I desired so he could feed the black hole. Well, there’s an AP for that.
He’ll choke hard on spousal support too.
It will be interesting to see his list.
I’m so glad I did the inventory a long time ago. It would have been very stressful to have to do it now.
I’m not going to dig around for secret accounts or hidden guns. (I think he did move half of them) My laywer told me that we can ask a number of questions under oath that if he is found to be lying about will give me 100% of found asset rather than the 50%.
Some of those questions were:
Do you have any assets, accounts, holdings that you have’t disclosed?
Do you have any monies, accounts, etc. in another persons name?
I’m going to make an appointment with my atty friend to help draft a couple spreadsheets. I hope with those we can come to a good rough agreement and if it falls apart, we will do the mediation.
September 20, 2013 at 2:56 pm #109697jomard
Participantdaisy, LOVE this bonnie raitt song. such a good way to start the day. 🙂
September 20, 2013 at 2:59 pm #109698daisy1962
MemberIt is, isn’t it? I had to stop listening to it at the gym, though, since I can’t resist belting out the “let my spirit fly…so high” complete with flinging my arms out wide. 🙂
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