Home discussions Sex Addiction Heart 2 Heart Program – does anyone have any information?

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  • #3269
    ann
    Member

    Hi ladies.

    My SA husband called this evening and told me that his therapist suggested that he (husband) may want to attend at least one weekend Heart 2 Heart based intensive/session, for males only. Guess there are quite a few therapists that have been trained using some of the Heart 2 Hearts theories – or something similar. My husband had a very, very abusive mother (and who knows what other family members were just as evil) and the therapist thinks my SA just might accomplish many insights into some of his problems by attending. Here is their web site:
    http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/

    I just wanted to know if any of you might happen to be familiar with this Heart 2 Heart approach to abuse or may have actually used the site or other materials/workshops from them. I told my husband why not go. At this point, there really not much more to lose.

    Thanks girls.

    #13912
    silver-lining
    Participant

    Hi Ann,
    I am not familiar with heart to heart but I looked around the link you provided. It looks very interesting and I am curious to see what the ladies have to say!!
    Have a great day! XO!!!

    #13913
    diane
    Participant

    Well, I checked the site too. I had never heard of it. It all looks like there could be value for him, in that they are addressing what is probably one of the underlying causes of his SA life, and also they link to BPD, which means they make these connections. Perhaps they might be discovering some interesting data on clients—-like how many are also SA’s?

    One question: I couldn’t find a link about who actually run this things and what their qualifications are. Did someone else happen upon that info?

    Please keep us posted, Ann, on what unfolds. I really hope there is something good for both of you out of this program.

    D.

    #13914
    marie
    Participant

    hi anne, I am sitting in the heart to heart waiting room as I write this on my phone. Husband and I are herefor 3 day intimacy anorexia intensive. Dr. Weiss asked us both some questions and within the first half hour told my husband he had to accept responsibility for this. I mentioned that my husband thinks I have 50 % of that issue, and dr. Weiss looked at him and said, I just asked you to answer 10 questions about her and your answers told me she isn’t the problem, you own this. The morning went well:)
    Marie

    #13915
    joann
    Participant

    Doug Weiss, who runs heart2heart is a recovering sex addict who is also quite a master marketer. I personally do not know of anyone who has taken any of his courses.

    Like Carnes, he has established himself as a guru. He created and is the president of the AASAT, has written and sells the training manuals for really huge prices and plasters his face all over the news.

    He has a lot of DVDs and books for SAs and partners. I guess I should review them but for some reason I have just never liked this guy right from the beginning (before he got his PdD).

    His website is http:sexaddict.com

    Ann and Marie, I am anxious to hear how everything goes.

    #13916
    nap
    Participant

    Hi Anne,
    I think Lori went to heart 2 heart too for an intensive for herself and I think she spoke highly about it.

    Marie, sounds like its really going well for you. I’m so happy your h is being held accountable as he should.

    Nap xxoo

    #13917
    silver-lining
    Participant

    And what a coincidence! Marie in the waiting room!! 🙂 
    Really interested in your experience Marie, if you care to share in the future! I really draw off of each of your opinions and experiences! For some reason over the past few days (and probably cause I have had time to ponder) I have really been learning and accepting how damaging this whole experience (marriage?) has been. I can almost feel it sink into my heart and soul and even my bones…. I have an overwhelming sadness for all of it. Everything we rehash on a daily basis. I am sad for you and sad for me, and sad for our kids and even for the SA. I guess my theme of this week must be sadness, hopefully next week I can move on to something a little more pleasant!! But as I sit in this little restaurant eating dinner alone, purposely and gladly, I can’t believe how I am truly feeling the pain, and then [allowing myself] to feel it anyway!!! Not rushing it, not sweeping it under the rug, not making excuses for it…. Just letting it be!! I know I must allow this, not avoid it, and I can’t explain it, but it feels so natural all of a sudden. Weird. My feelings have been numb for sooooo long, it’s kinda strange to feel such sadness….especially knowing that in the end, it will be worth the pain. At least I’m banking on it!!!! 🙂

    #13918
    b-trayed
    Participant

    Marie, I am so happy for you…

    I have some of his literature and DVD’s. I heard he is great for stopping acting out behavior. I heard he a bit SHAMING, but can’t confirm if that is true…or necessarily bad. Usually these men are low on feeling shame for what they did…healthy shame, I mean. B. Trayed

    #13919
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    silver-lining – I am with you. Sick of hashing over things on a daily basis. I think it is wonderful you are feeling the pain-definitely on the road to your recovery for yourself.
    After that, for me, comes not giving a shit what my SA does, and being able to successfuly remove myself from his behavior. It is not numbing to the situation, but simply coming to realization that things are not going to change.
    I think we have to go through so many stages of recovery for ourselves.
    You are out of the numbing stage, and I feel you will successfully come to reconciliation.
    Hugs to you.

    #13920
    ann
    Member

    Good evening ladies,

    Thanks to all for your responses. I have some additional information about the program my husband will be attending this weekend. He registered today. Apparently it covers some of the issues addressed by the Heart 2 Heart Program but isn’t affiliated with them. It’s strictly a local (Illinois) program, as far as I know. (Uh, anyone else think me and my SA might have some communication problems?) He leaves on Friday and returns on Sunday night. Marie and I will have to compare notes. I was told that there is a local Sunday meeting for the partners of the participants. Have yet to decide if I will attend. Anyway, here is a kind of brief overview of this program. If it sound promising, I’ll fill everyone in on the details. Whatever. His therapist thought it would be beneficial.

    We are an organization of men helping men. For more than 25 years, we at XXXXXXXX have been men who help other men in bringing positive change to themselves and their lives. We begin by recognizing that many of us have been socialized to think that “being a man” means adopting beliefs that can stand in our own way. These include the assumptions that men go it alone, avoid asking for help, address inner pain with silent stoicism, cultivate superficial or aloof associations with other men, deny our feelings and our vulnerability, and interpret the public disclosure of our private selves as a sign of weakness. At XXXXXXX, we are convinced that true manhood lies in recognizing that there are times when these very behaviors can enrich our lives and our relationships. This is something we help other men discover through weekend and group programs where they can explore a more authentic, more empathic, more satisfying, and more optimistic understanding of what it means to be a man.

    We are men building relationships. We recognize that relationships can be both our greatest source of fulfillment and our greatest cause of distress. We also know that satisfying relationships are essential to satisfying lives. Among the most important things we do for men is to assist them in identifying and removing the obstacles that prevent them from enjoying the kinds of relationships they have long sought. Often the starting point is to help them begin improving their opinion of themselves by discovering that, despite what they may have believed, they are good enough and worthy of love.

    We focus on personal change. Improving our lives often begins with changing ourselves, a challenge that is can be fraught with fear. Our programs help men discover how to overcome that fear and accept the challenge of change. We guide them in meeting this challenge by providing opportunities to learn more about themselves, to recognize and express their emotions, to communicate more authentically with other men, to discover that what concerns each of them concerns most of them, and to feel better about the man they see in the mirror. The Victories they achieve are those of the heart – victories that include a deeper connection with others and a greater regard for themselves.

    We are professional, experienced and able. Our organization was founded by two highly regarded mental health professionals. More than 80% of the men we serve are referred to us by professionals. Our weekends are developed and reviewed by a committee composed largely of professionals. The teams that lead each of those weekends are always led and trained by at least one senior mental health professional. And the volunteers who facilitate our Personal Growth Groups are also trained by licensed professionals, some of whom serve on the faculties of major universities. As a result of all these factors, our programs meet high standards for confidentiality, safety, integrity, and trust. Although we provide no professional services, we offer effective support to the counselors and wellness professionals who do, often helping them to accelerate the progress of the men they serve.

    We offer education. Ultimately, the outcome of our efforts is learning – the kind that can help a man strengthen his relationships and brighten his life. We facilitate such learning in two ways. The first is through the programs we provide directly to men. The second is through the continuing education we offer to professionals, through which they can expand their knowledge of men’s issues while earning high-value, low-cost continuing education units.

    #13921
    silver-lining
    Participant

    Ann, I think that sounds great! I could see so many issues in my SA that they address at this camp! Best of luck to your SAH and hope to hear feedback from you at a later date! 
    PS- I’m your neighbor in Indy if you ever want to get together! 🙂
    And Sharron- thank you! Your words made me feel really good and positive and they made sense to me! Anything that actually makes sense at this point is a definite bonus!!! XO!!! 

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