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- This topic has 15 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by katt.
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June 29, 2011 at 11:37 pm #3402hurtheartParticipant
So I had my follow-up ultrasound and it appears that the pregnancy is definitely not viable. Heartbeat was only 15 beats per minute when it should be at least 118. The sac is also still deformed. As usual my body is not recognizing that anything is wrong; therefore, I have to have another D&C. I have my pre-surgical testing tomorrow and the procedure is set for Friday.
A part of me is mourning over another loss {several m/c and the loss of my son}, yet a part of me feels as if this is the best thing, given the situation. So as expected, I am a torn and emotional wreck. My daughter will stay by my parents for 2 days while I rest and recover
Thank you so much to my sisters for supporting me through this.June 30, 2011 at 1:04 am #15286floraParticipanthi hh,
we all understand and are sad for your loss. But we also know the circumstances you are in.I know you posted a ways back about wishing your daughter had a sibling. My daughter is basically an only child as her sisters are so much older, she is more a nusance to them. I too awhile back when my h’s brother and his wife had a second baby, i knew that i had wanted that too. However my marriage was crap, and that was the last thing i needed. So i also mourned the loss of what i had hoped to be for her and us as a family. Love to you HH.
Flora
June 30, 2011 at 1:56 am #15287deboraParticipantHH,
Oh, I am sorry, HH, for all your pain and loss. I can barely put myself in your shoes and when I think about it I am overwhelmed for you. You sound pretty good, considering your situation.
I am sending healing thoughts and strength and courage to you now. It’s good that your parents are there for you now.
Love, Debora
June 30, 2011 at 2:09 am #15288b-trayedParticipantHH,
So sorry for your difficult time. I hope you know we really care about you. Let us know how the surgery goes. So glad, as Deborah mentioned, that your parents can help you. Hugs, B. Trayed
June 30, 2011 at 2:16 am #15289ms-lindyParticipantDear hurtheart,
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I understand the loss you are feeling with this child. I lost two babies early in my pregnancies and to this day I still mourn them. I know this is a double-sided coin for you, but take a deep breath and mourn your lost babies. Don’t let sex addiction rob you of your right as a mother to grieve for your children. You deserve that right without interference.
Love and hugs to you dear one.
LindyJune 30, 2011 at 2:18 am #15290joannParticipantI am so sorry hurtheart. I just wish I could take some of that pain from you as you have endured so much. Your daughter is very fortunate to have such a strong mother as a role model.
My thoughts are with you today and through the weekend, sending you much love and good energy.
June 30, 2011 at 2:32 am #15291napParticipantHi HH,
Thinking of you at this difficult time. Know we are with you in support and love.
napxxooJune 30, 2011 at 3:19 am #15292zumbagirlMemberHurtheart,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult this is. You are such a strong person. As everyone else said, we are with you, sending love and support. Get lots of rest.
Hugs and love, ZumbagirlJune 30, 2011 at 2:31 pm #15293kattMemberhurtheart let yourself morn all you have loss. you need to take care of yourself. we need to do this in order to gain strength. anything i can do for you let me know, we are all here for you
much love kattJune 30, 2011 at 6:02 pm #15294lizaParticipantSo sorry for your loss, Hurtheart. Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts. Liza
June 30, 2011 at 6:29 pm #15295cindy1111ParticipantHurtheart,
I feel your pain as you go through another difficult moment in life. Let our love and support hold you up during this sad time. Take slow but steady steps as you bring yourself through this and know that you are not alone.
Love, CindyJuly 1, 2011 at 12:38 am #15296hurtheartParticipantThank you my sisters.
I won’t deny that going to the hospital for the pre-op testing today was torture. This is the hospital in which I suffered my prior miscarriages, as well as the bedrest and hospitalization during the twin pregnancy, and where my son passed away and my daughter fought to live for 64 days after her birth. I began to hysterically cry when I pulled onto the campus, due to all the above AND because I now know EXACTLY why I went through most of those things totally on my own; because I married a sick and disgusting man who found hookers and webcams and other unmentionables to be more important to him than his wife and children. I completely lost it while I was there, and honestly do not know how I can bring myself back there tomorrow for the procedure, especially because I had initially asked my dad to take me, but since they moved the surgery time, he can’t come, and my piece of shit SA who has caused a part of the PTSD I have with this hospital {as well as the complete ruination of my life, family, etc} has to take me. Just the smell and the sounds of this place threw me into hysterics, and I know having HIM there will make it worse.
I hope to find the strength not to cause a scene and upset myself too muchJuly 3, 2011 at 1:53 am #15297b-trayedParticipantHurtheart,
I think it was yesterday, Friday, you were supposed to have your D & C (dustin’ and a cleanin’). I have been thinking about you and hope you are doing well, under the circumstances. Please let us know how you are when you are able.
Hugs, B. TrayedJuly 3, 2011 at 4:13 am #15298lexieParticipant(((hugs))) hurtheart. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through, but my thoughts and prayers are with you…
July 3, 2011 at 4:14 am #15299zumbagirlMemberHurtheart,
Thinking of you and wondering how you are. Your last post broke my heart…all the PTSD you are going through. I really hate these guys. Anyway, hopefully by now you are done and resting.
Love and hugs, ZGJuly 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm #15300kattMemberheart im thinking about please take good care of yourself
much love katt -
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