HELP create a soundbite

I am so touched at all our responses and concern. I’m copy pasting this from the other forum started by Diane.

Thanks for being concerned about me. I made it through the taping. The thing that was most outstanding in my memory was the amount of pain I saw in the audience when I told what little of my story I had time to tell. Lots of people were crying. Men, too. I think the host, Anderson Cooper, was struggling to keep his composure. He gulped really hard a number of times. It was validating, in that I could see that the pain and anger and shock I felt were NOT because I was already emotionally damaged before all this happened, I was not a co-addict, a PTSD victim, or anything other than a person who was shocked to the core by the deceitful and destructive behavior of someone I loved and trusted.

There were two psychiatrists on the show with us, one, a woman whose name I never got clearly in the hustle, was a supporter of the standard “Sex Addict” model of treatment, and the other was Dr. David Lev, author of the newly released “The Myth of Sex Addiction”. They gave us some pointers, nothing we’ve not heard before. They both agreed that the tools H and I put in place so far are good ones.

There was no mention of co-addiction. I did not get to bring that up, however, I don’t think it was necessary. There was not even a hint of turning the focus back to the woman in the situation. Well, maybe, where the woman psychiatrist said that there was an obvious breakdown in communication early in the relationship. Anderson Cooper took an audience question then “Why were you both not clear with each other in the beginning about what was acceptable, sexually.” I answered that I had been, we had had three discussions about that: before we started dating exclusively, before we were sexually intimate, and before I accepted the marriage proposal. Each time I was adamant that I would not accept the use of porn, or extramarital sexual activity, at all. Each time H stated he had never used porn, would not, and he was completely monogamous and had no desire to be anything else, for his own health and sanity as well as the health of the relationship. Anderson’s next question was to H, he asked “Why did you marry her, then, knowing that this was her standard, and what you were doing?” H had no answer and the audicence was livid.

H talked the whole way home about how shocked he was by the anger portrayed towards him by the audience. About halfway through the flight home I told him this is a human response. All that anger you feel from me, it’s not because I’m over sensitive or want to punish you. All those tears I cried, it’s not because I’m hooked on pain and perpetually reliving the same old things you’re already over. It’s a human response to a horrible thing. They don’t know you and hate you, they know what you did, though, and what you did was a horrible thing, and they just learned about it. Can’t you see that? Their response was a human response and so was mine.

It was exhausting, the travel, the number of people I had to tell my story to in short in preparation for the show, the taping, and the trip back home with H afterwards. But I think I’m glad I did it. I was honest, and I think AC was trying to portray it in the most balanced fashion possible. I have no idea how it will be edited, though.

They did the most extreme makeup job on me, I’ve never worn false eyelashes before, and they put so many on I was having trouble blinking. I feel like I looked like Tammy Baker. The staff all said it looked natural on camera. I guess we’ll see.

I did the best I could, sisters. Hope it works. I did mention the Sisterhood of Support, too. Hope that survives editing.

Your support has made it possible for me to be this open, and I pray to GOD that is helps some other women see that their own responses are healthy, normal responses and NOT a sign of their own shortcomings. AND also, I hope it gives some man a clear picture of the real pain he’s causing, so he’ll come forward and get help before he creates this hell in his own life, with another woman. I just hope it brings a halt to the pain, for SOMEONE.

Supposedly before Jan 1