- This topic has 89 replies, 22 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Girlie, I know this all seems insurmountable. It’s a fucking nightmare, no two ways about it. But you and the girlies WILL survive this. You are stronger and more powerful than you can imagine, Girlie, so take a deep breath and gather that strength for what lies ahead. You’re headed in the right direction, i.e. lawyer appt. So next, schedule the STD tests and find out what you are (or more likely are not) dealing with. We’ve ALL had to do this, so we understand how terrified you are. đ Try not to ‘catastrophize’ if at all possible, let’s just take this a day at a time, or if need be an hour. Finally, Girlie, stop talking to him and most importantly – STOP LISTENING TO HIM. He’s the enemy – never forget it!
I feel all alone.. I do.. I can’t even tell you guys how alone I feel.. there is no one to tell here or confide in.. it is embarassing.. and I am ashamed .. really.. and I feel like a failure.. I do… and he turned his back to me today and just wouldn’t even look at me – his body was so stressed and he turned and said look what you are doing to your family.. because I asked him to look at me.. anyway, I did go to therapy today and she just said to see an attorney.. which I am,, but even though there are a lot of people who love me very much, there is no one to confide in.. I am mortified… by it all.. I have tried so hard to be a great mom and to build my family and be a great wife.. obviously .. a complete failure.. all around.. I engaged with him today when I knew I shouldn’t .. in front of my girls.. and in the end, people will think it was me who was the loser.. not him.. he holds all of the cards, the career, the benefits, the money , the big family.. (his siblings) anyway, I am alone in this.. I have you guys ,, but no real live person.. who could I ever possibly tell what I found on his phone.. and all the while, all day, he keeps telling me, texting me how I am accusing him of something he didn’t do.. everyone has hooker sites.. it is in verizon favorites , so it is a verizon favorite.. not on him.. UGH>> you guys.. well, I better go and try to enjoy dinner with my kids.. I was sick to my stomach all day.. I don’t eat and I don’t sleep.. and him? happy as a clam.. not a worry in the world and really proud of himself and his saintly ways.. he is going to say I am unstable and take the kids.. I know it
Girlie, get these books,and read them NOW: âThe Gaslight Effectâ by Dr. Robin Stern and âIn Sheepâs Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative Peopleâ by Dr. George Simon.
If I can sit in a bar with three girlfriends and finally come clean about my H using me to make bondage porn for over a decade, you can come clean to nearly anyone about HIS fucking skanky hookers with your head held high. I told them, and they have rallied around me…and as my SAH is currently doing all the “right” things, they continue to support our entire family unit (even him) as well. However, as my BFF has said, one wrong move from here on out, and “we’ll cut off his balls and dance around them with you.”
Mary, listen to yourself. If you test positive for an STD, let him ***say*** whatever the fuck he wants. He’ll know he gave it to you, you’ll know he gave it to you, everyone on the planet who you choose to tell will know the truth. Do NOT, don’t, no more, not once more EVER, give his bullshit about you testing positive for something another iota of value. It’s like someone standing there, hand on the knife shoved into your gut, claiming that you stabbed him. If everything else remains a confusing blur, please give your mind rest from this STD insanity.
And after letting yourself let go of that bit of crazy…start thinking about another bit of crazy. Let’s say your concern over being humiliated. There are two kinds of shame – healthy shame and unhealthy shame. I’ll save you the psych lecture but feeling humiliated because of someone else’s actions is unhealthy shame. This wretched monster who is squeezing the very life out of you can only thrive in darkness and secrecy. And he knows it. He’s used the dark, he’s counted on the secrets to make sure his sick needs were met. Everything he has said and done to you is purposefully and brilliantly designed to keep you scared and alone in the dark. And he’s getting more dangerous and more horrible now because he senses you are catching glimpses of light he has kept away from you for years. It will be hard, you think you can’t do it – but you can. You’re so, so close now. Do not let the last desperate efforts of this madman scare you away from bursting out of the darkness. You ARE a great mom – his sickness has no part in that. You have been a great partner – again, his sickness doesn’t reflect on how you conducted yourself on bit. Do not make the mistake of connecting the value and honor of your accomplishments as a mother and wife with the his depths of deception and betrayal. Anyone who matters one little bit will soon realize your accomplishments are all the more amazing given the evil and sorry excuse for a man you’ve been saddled with.
oh thank you so much.. beautiful autumn and liza.. just beautiful.. he said it is over if I discuss him with anyone at all and he doesn’t ever want to see my sister again.. but I see he is trying to keep the light from coming in.. again.. thanks so much .. tomorrow is another great day .. and hopefully, he will be gone all day and night .. working or whatever it is that he does.. it would be so much better if he had had an affair.. then he would leave to be with her..
Autumn, that was brilliant. I copied into a folder for myself. Thank you…
GW, read what Aurumn said until you have it memorized.
He has NO legal,grounds to take your children from you. Get legal advice ASAP.
He says “it’s over if you talk about him”??? IT’S OVER NOW. There was never anything to begin with.
thanks everyone again.. you know sometimes I think it is his reaction to any discovery and his abuse of me that is far worse then him sleeping with hookers.. really and truly.. it is .. he has morphed into a full blown monster.. tonight he told me that I am not under any circumstances to talk to anyone at all about him in a negative way.. I have a lot of supportive friends .. a ton of them.. but I am holding back.. he said tonight it would be my choice to disgrace the family and make myself look like a fool .. but whatever.. I love what autumn wrote.. I was just trying to give any example of why for me his actual reaction to it all is worse than him actually sleeping with hookers.. one day, I would like to tell him that.. really, I would.. he said tonight he is my best friend and the best friend who loves me better than anyone else in the world.. I mean,, what is he talking about? he is leaving me at the curb and then laughing as he is kicking me on the curb.. not literally.. but you know what I mean… and he says he is the smartest guy I know.. really,, well, if I were him, I wouldn’t act like that about the sites.. I would just say here let’s delete them and / or something besides telling me I am framing him.. thanks again.. and did he morph into this as his addiction grew. or really was he always like this and faked it and always sleepign with hookers.. wow, he is a true monster..
Hang in there. I like you post GW. Great thinking now. Yes, he is a monster. We have lived with this monster. For you, it is getting closer to being over. I cant wait!
GW I do wish I lived close to you. I would come right over now and hold you in my arms. You HAVE been a wonderful wife and you ARE an excellent mother. He has eroded your self esteem and self confidence to the extent that the negative thought bang around in your head and there is no space for anything positive.
Your husband is a crock of shit. I don’t believe that he is well respected or well liked. You and the girls are a great little package that keep him looking respectful. He can see his life of make believe is coming to an end and he is coming out all guns blazing undermining you as best he can in a last desperate attempt to remain ‘respectable’.
Don’t think for a minute that if you exposed him that people wouldn’t believe you. They will believe you alright and that is why he is so desperate right now to back you into a corner. There will be others that know of his behaviours.
I want to punch his lights out.
- The forum ‘Stories’ is closed to new topics and replies.