Home discussions Sex Addiction Help!! Need an AT&T cell/bill question answered

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  • #4488
    kimberely
    Member

    Anyone have any AT&T contacts that you can ask a question for me?? My sa slipped up tonight while explaining his trip to the adult bookstore on Sat to me via text. I assumed he wasn’t answering his cell on purpose during that time. He told me Sat he left it at home on the counter. Odd, I thought but whatever. He has said since Sat, to me and our therapist, that he “just ended up over there”. No plans to go when he awoke or while getting dressed, just was heading out to the grocery store and bam, next thing he knows he’s at the adult bookstore. Just acting on impulse. I kinda bought it to a degree until tonight. In re-explaining Sat to me he tells me that once he realized he didn’t have his phone as he neared the grocery store he just drove on past it and bam, there he was, across town at the adult bookstore. In quizzing him about some minor details he then tells me that had he not left his phone with him he wouldn’t have gone across town since it’s like an accountability partner bc it has gps on it. WHAT??????????? Jackass dork thinks I put gps tracking on his phone but I haven’t!!! It’s an iphone. I did put family mapping on it back in Aug but I took it off when he seemed bothered by it and I TOLD him I took it off. I guess he forgot that part. Anyway, I stifled the urge to tell him there’s no tracking device on his phone. Then I questioned the whole impulse claim that he just happened to end up at the adult bookstore without a phone with gps? Hmm, sounds like it was planned to me!!! Now I’m of the belief he left it at home on purpose. Thank you imaginary gps phone tracker! Keep in mind this is a man who comes back for his phone if he leaves it accidentally and he also had his grocery list on it (he uses the notepad feature for the groc list). So to double check this against the phonebill I see no voice calls in or out that morning until he called me and said he’d just got back from the grocery store and left his phone on the counter. During his trip back from the bookstore I did text him 3 times saying call me, where are you, etc. But just now when I looked at the text side of the bill the date of 3/10 isn’t even there…..there’s texts showing for 3/9 and 3/11 but 3/10 isn’t even listed in between them. Can customers call at&t and ask for dates to be blocked/removed from a bill???? I was wanting to see if there were any outbound texts during his jaunt to the bookstore just to verify the whole phone left at home on the counter thing. We texted throughout that evening as well bc he was moving out so where are they? Why aren’t any texts from that particular day showing on the bill????????????

    #30920
    silver-lining
    Participant

    I doubt that customers can call and do that but I don’t know for a FACT. Can you call AT&T yourself? Are you on the plan?

    PS- do you get tired of “quizzing him about some minor details?” and calling him, texting him asking him where are you? Etc? I am just curious! You know, you just read this stuff and think UGH. Who wants to live like that?

    I’m sure you DONT- I just wondered if when you Read it in black and white…do you see how exhausting that sounds? Blech, these guys put me in SUCH a bad mood!!

    Hug to you! Hope you get your question answered!!

    #30921
    kimberely
    Member

    I only texted him and called him specifically because my tracking device alerted me he was at the adult bookstore. I wanted to see what he was going to tell me about where he was at. He was supposed to go to the grocery store. We are currently separated over this and that’s why the quizzing at times is happening. What is weird to me is that for the most part he is very honest about day to day stuff. Alot of times when I ask a question I already know the answer. Just like make sure I’m keeping everyone honest like him and my kids. But in regards to porn he has lied. I know this is part of the addiction but it’s just fascinating to me that he is able to separate it. Very baffling………after the tracking device on the car, the pc spyware, checking the phone bill it is tiring……he made a crack recently that he figures what’s coming next is I will have gps chip implanted in his body somewhere. I said well, if its good enough for our dogs then its good enough for you!!!

    #30922
    silver-lining
    Participant

    LOL!! Great answer!! Good luck to you! Just stay on alert, which I’m sure you will!! They do have the sense at times (believe it or not) to tell the truth for awhile- until they THINK you stopped paying attention! Then, back to the old tricks. Gawd….it just makes me sick!!

    I’m in your corner, sister!! XO!

    #30923
    kimberely
    Member

    You know what? Your comment just hit the nail on the head for me. I think that is what holds me back from just agreeing to another chance, that he rides the line, does counseling, group mens meeting bc I have his full attention right now. When he’s caught he hangs on my every word, waits with baited breath. He is so driven and determined to overcome this. He says he wants to be the husband I deserve and the man God intended him to be. He just wants another chance to show me he can be trusted and to show his devotion to me. This would make #2 that I take him back, or is it #3? I hold back bc it is when that lull sets in, and it will, he and I become complacent and he stops hanging on my every word and then that defensive edge in his tone comes back……blah blah blah……this is what holds me back. I don’t want to say again “Clearly, you did not stay at your parents long enough the last time.” But that fact alone could help. His parents now know, they did not know before and he is close to them and he values their opinions. They have been a huge support to him in this so far. That could be a driving factor in him succeeding this time. I have to decide if that is a big enough factor for me though.

    #30924
    silver-lining
    Participant

    Understand sister. I lived that EXACT life….for 17 years. On then off then on…. Same thing….hung on every word, threw in some religion (His dad is a minister)…. Promised the moon, became the perfect husband for a time…..over and over and over…. For my marriage, it didn’t work out. He just plain and simply wouldn’t do it. I hope for better results in yours!! XO!

    #30925
    march
    Participant

    For-now, I wonder what happens if they have things forwarded to another phone…of if you can even have texts forwarded the way you can have calls forwarded. And IF you forward your calls, etc., if they show up on the other phone’s record or the primary phone…

    #30926
    kimberely
    Member

    march, each of our bills show all in/out calls and texts. I can see under my number it shows I sent him 3 texts during that time but his for some reason shows nothing that day. in/out texts and calls for 3/9 and 3/11 show each of our calls/text to each other on each bill. The one day att has a glitch it has to be on THAT day????? blech!!

    #30927
    anniem
    Member

    for-now, I have Verizon, and it seems like what happens is that if the person you’re texting or calling has their phone off, it’ll show up on your phone bill but not on theirs sometimes. Also, Verizon online can be screwy a lot of the time. Long delays in calls or texts showing up, and maybe your phone carrier is similar. And I think that if they don’t actually read the text once their phone is back on, that maybe it won’t show up on his bill? I’m honestly not sure, but I feel for you and completely relate to what you’re going through. I hate that this turns us into traumatized sleuths. xoxo

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