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For-now- yep, that’s about how they usually are. You are the big winner! I only veer from that when I feel like I need to answer something for court.
Oh, lisacay, you have so much left to learn 🙂 …I tried that about the PTSD, and it changed absolutely nothing. If anything his emails got longer. Any boundary-setting especially with a reason that his observing it might be misconstrued as common human decency immediately results in him stomping all over it.
I usually pretend he is invisible and I can’t see him when I see him in person. No eye contact, no talking. I just focus on my son. Emails are a big trigger. Just his name in the inbox makes my heart pound. I think I know what I will work on with my therapist this week! 🙂
Teri,
I’m so sorry. Whatever his intentions are, his communication with you is disruptive. Email and phone calls come whenever HE wants it to come, not when YOU have the mental space to deal with it. I’m wondering if it would be good to get any communications with him limited to a compartmentalized time and space? Maybe you could work through your lawyer to prohibit email and phone calls? Or limit them to one specific day of the week and only about visitation (no other topic allowed)? Ideally, if email could be prohibited (and the rule could be enforced), at least then you could choose what time of day to get the US mail out of the mailbox — any control you could take might help. Some states have more protective laws than others, maybe in your state there are good enough laws that if he repeatedly violates the agreement, his behavior could land him in jail (one can dream . . . right?) In the meantime, see what you can do to take control of when you are exposed to his crap!Gail, that is a good idea. I have a meeting with my attorney this week so I will discuss with her.
My son, my daughter and I screen all our calls and none of us pick up when he calls.
I feel like this should be handled more like he is a rapist or has committed an act of violence against the family than a divorce.
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