He’s gone, you’re back, Kerika Fields

This book was recommended by Silver Lining. I finally picked it up the other day. The book is about getting over a bad break-up.
I did not fully read it, but did a good skim, and i think it will be a really good read. It does not matter if you were dumped or the dumpee, its still can be a bad break-up. And its still hard when you have to leave, becaue it is an unhealthy relationship.

She has a chapter about the moment you know. The moment you know “it’s over”. And at this moment you either accept it and move on and prepare for the split or you try to pretend it did not happen. And you can pretend the rest of your life. You can try to fix it, wish it away…if he would just change…xyz would be better. And some women stay there. I had this moment in both my relationships, the moment i felt it, I knew it was the point of no return, that the h was forever tarnished on my eyes. I tried with the second h to smooth it over, try time to forgive…it did not work. I remember NAP and i had discussed this moment in the past, that moment, the it’s over moment. So its funny to have read from an author who actually wrote about it, as i have felt it to.

She also talks about the Abyss. That the abyss is a dark dark place and once you are there it is difficult to get out. My guess is the abyss is the wallowing and the depression that occurs, but you are never able to snap out of. She also has a couple sections where she talks about how to avoid the abyss and ways to get over the ex. She says to allow yourself these phases briefly, but not to extend them.

I like the book because she is a real women, trying to help other women. She is not a shrink talking from her throne of what textbooks said to say and what her patients have said with her analysis. She lived it. And her words are true and real. I like to hear that in reality we are no different than anyone else. Its hard to get over a relationship with someone you thought was “the one” or with someone maybe was not the one but you wasted years of your life.

Its a good book, no mention of how you are to blame, just about how to get over a bad relationship. thought that this book may be something others might want to read. Thank you silver for the recommendation.

Love to all, Flora