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Well, Diane, maybe this just reaffirms why you are so important, why your story is important, why standing up and owning our experience is so important.
But fighting alligators in the swamp is exhausting. And there are so damn many of them.
You do deserve to not have to go back into the swamp again, to have a sacred place well away from it.
Hey, Ella’s sister betrayed Ella every bit as much as jerky Jeff did.
If we should feel sorry for anyone it’s Ella who seems to have bought into all the SA crap and is now blissfully unaware of the time bomb sparking away right under her pile of denial. ~ JoAnn
Diane, who was it that criticized the married site and said that I was a crude, vulgar cult leader? I can’t remember who it was.
I’m getting tee shirts made.
I can’t wait until Lexie sees Jeff’s comment. I just know she will forget that she promised to keep her cool or I would banish her from the married site again. (those of you who were around during the Lexie days will recognize her style even though she has moderated her language a bit, and uses a different name). You can’t help but love her. ~ JoAnn
Ella was a member for a while. He is mainly attacking the married site and rolling the SOS site in for the ride. He just hates me and my ‘attitude’.
I realize that as a decent human that I should feel sympathy for both Ella and Jeff but I don’t. I posted on his “ask an addict” site and I was truly very subdued, only nice words, and decent. I asked questions and Ella sent me an e mail that she “could not have addict bashing ……something or other” on her site. She was very sorry that I was on SOS and did not get in touch with her and Jeff sooner so I wouldn’t be so brainwashed and full of hate….
Diane has copies of my posts and has my permission to post them.
I stupidly said I was on SOS because I did not know of Ella/Jeff and their background. I was simply asking a question.
Well I don’t understand why he goes on the married site either. Is it helpful to him? The site is married to a sa. He has no business posting on it and invading the privacy of a partner. It must be very traumatising to a member to have an sa posting even if he is in recovery. If he is a good coach or therapist or whatever he is he should know that. disgusting really.
Here is the e-mail from Ella to me……I think the disclaimer at the bottom says that I am not legally allowed to share the email. If JoAnn feels it will affect any SOS business then I will delete it or she can. Otherwise, Ella can drag my ass into court. I don’t care 🙂
Beverly,
I have deleted our last few posts. I can not have addict hating material on my site. It’s not who I am. I am all about partner sensitivity, their right to express their feelings and be validated. But that does not mean we make sweeping generalizations in the meantime. I can not allow my page to become like the “married” site where every wife, regardless of her story, is told to leave or that she is in denial if she wants to give her marriage a chance. Some of your words sound like they came straight from that site. My personal opinion is that that cult like website is harming more women than it helps. There are kind, soft hearted women like Barb and Marsha and others, who offer wonderful support to partners without bashing addicts or using awful vulgarity. You say how much you love Barb and Omar. I know them both personally. I doubt either of them would be okay with the hate filled words that I have read on that site as well as some of the things you have said on my site. I know you are hurting and angry, which you have every right to be. I only wish you had found someone else to support you before being so heavily influenced while in such a fragile state. Someone who would offer love and compassion, not bitterness and resentment toward everyone who doesn’t see things exactly as they do.
Blessings,
Ella Hutchinson, LPC, CCSAS
2900 Commercial Center Blvd
Suite 110
Katy, TX 77494
832-693-7916
http://www.ComfortChristianCounseling.comThe information contained in this transmission may be legally privileged and confidential information intended only for the use of the intended recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, the review, dissemination, distribution, or printing of this transmission is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please notify me immediately. Thank you.
I said nothing vulgar on her or Jeff’s site. Not one single word was vulgar. I was not hate filled. I simply asked a question and said what I thought about this whole “addict” business. She has every right to take down any post. She has every right to run her business as she sees fit
I would simply suggest that if you are offended by the tough questions and offended by perceived vulgarity then maybe sex addiction should not be your career choice.
Ha! I love it- “cult like”! And the bit about your fragile state- how condescending. Vomit! And bitterness and resentment- whatever. Bev, I have never thought of you as bitter and resentful. Clearly she has yet to work out her own issues, and she really shouldn’t be treating partners.
I actually think I said that I understand and forgive murderers that had lousy childhoods but that doesn’t mean I have to be married to one and that one should not get a pass on his/her behavior and claim “addiction” to murder ( as in serial killers).
I’m sure I pissed her off.
Thanks so much for posting that Bev and Ella can kiss my ass.
That disclaimer simply says that it is only for the intended recipient, which is you (in case it inadvertently got sent to the wrong person). That is an old disclaimer that was originally used on faxes. You can legally do anything you want with it.
I’m so glad that I irritate the shit out of both of them.
I think they deleted my post, too.
Jeff,
The first two sentences of your posting just make going any further unnecessary. I did so only because I happen to know from personal experience in having a number of my own opposing viewpoints posted by JoAnn, that your first statement was absolutely untrue.
You begin your post with a blanket statement that JoAnn acts with full intent to discriminate, then ask her to trust the intent of your heart. In essence opening with “you are not trustworthy to give fair hearings to opposing views, but let me show you mine”. Then at the end blessing her efforts, as misguided as you have stated they are.
Try this website:
http://www.johntreed.com/debate/html(FYI Sisters, it’s a website for debate tactics with intellectual integrity. He broke about, um, all of them.)
Just because you think JoAnn has an agenda of being a beacon of hope, and that hope you assigned her to provide doesn’t look like the hope you believe she should be presenting, means you get to redefine her mission statement? JoAnn is doing just fine. Thousands of women are living in gratitude for her vision in creating a place where they can be honest about their experience without being told they need to set aside their completely normal and healthy anger in favor of being used, yet again, only this time as a rung in the ladder to their abuser’s healing.
Your generalizations are appalling. You present yourself as a long-time close acquaintance of JoAnn’s, then immediately state her intent as one everyone recognizes as false. You state the perpetual emotional state of women you don’t know, on a private member’s only site which, for a man, could only be acquired through “eavesdropping” on extremely private and painful disclosures and cries for help (which you subsequently used name calling to belittle by labeling members as the “SOS Mafia”). You presume to instruct on who and how to teach and what conversations to have with whom.
Seems to me you are the one who needs to apply himself diligently to learning the facts. Do you not recognize the thinly veiled misogyny of belittling traumatized people with name calling like “SOS Mafia”? Generalizing to this extent is indeed reckless and manipulative. Why would anyone trust the heart of someone who presumes he knows this much about women he doesn’t even know: what they need, what they feel? That’s called arrogance in my book. I am part of the SOS site, and your blatant presumptions about women there and what they need is astonishing to behold.
You are completely welcome to your opinion, of course. JoAnn did us a favor in allowing it to be posted. One more example of a man who thinks he knows women inside and out, and doesn’t have a clue.
They are such extreme double talkers:
“I am all about partner sensitivity, their right to express their feelings and be validated. But that does not mean we make sweeping generalizations in the meantime. I can not allow my page to become like the “married” site where ***every*** wife, regardless of her story, is told to leave or that she is in denial if she wants to give her marriage a chance.”
I only wish you had found someone else to support you before being so heavily influenced while in such a fragile state. Someone who would offer love and compassion, not bitterness and resentment *** toward everyone who doesn’t see things exactly as they do***.
If those aren’t generalizations, I don’t know what is.
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