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diane,
i hear you. as i’m getting ready to leave in a few months, i’ve been anxious about how hard it will be. you have put into words many things i have wondered about.
leaving will be the hardest thing i ever do. 22 years of being emotionally abused and manipulated – it’s a difficult thing to disengage yourself from.
it will take me months to work up the courage to divorce him. i haven’t even done it yet, i’ve only just started the process, and it’s already hard work. i’ve been working on myself – that’s been difficult. i’m gaining from that, and will continue to gain. but, as far as anything to do with DW goes, i have nothing but losing ahead of me.
staying is hard. leaving is hard. the mess caused by all of this affects us no matter what we do.
Agreed, Diane,
Leaving is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life and then some.bhearted- yes, please, let us know. I have learned a lot from your sharing.
I agree there’s no way out of this without very serious hard work. Stay or leave. I feel like such a shell of what I used to be. I thought I was “special” to this man. I NEVER thought he would cheat on me because I’m 15 years younger and not an ogre. Guess I was wrong. I feel like just another object abused in his addiction. So sad. I just hope I find the courage to take some steps for myself. I feel beaten down and sooo tired
Everything you are feeling is normal BH. I am so sorry.
Tiger Woods cheated obsessively on one of the physically prettiest woman I have ever seen…Go figure.
It’s not you sweetie.
Btw I told my therapists about this group and they were very happy that this is here for women like me.
Joann- what a wonderful gift you have created by bringing us together. Much love
Yes it is. That is a big distinction. Lots of things happen TO me. I can’t control them and it’s not my fault. I know it hurts. I have never been more hurt or lost.
Just take care of yourself the best you can.
My therapist loved the idea of this site and that I was getting so much support from it. She wrote the name down – I guess to recommend to other women?
bhearted, my husband had a seven-page disclosure full of awful stuff. He worked so hard on that thing with his excellent counselor. I went to the disclosure, listened to the first few paragraphs, asked some questions, then started talking about my pain for a good hour. I did not expect to do this, but the disclosure was all on paper so I could read it later, and I couldn’t imagine sitting there listening to all this junk at once. I read the seven pages over four days time, then went line by line with him through the whole thing, swearing and yelling all the way through. I can’t imagine talking about this junk without swearing and yelling at him. I hope you can stop doing this to yourself. This would be way too much for my mental health. Love to you. You do not deserve this form of counseling.
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