- This topic has 16 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 9 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hi, this little tidbit fell into my hands and I thought how very true. The only negotiations you navigate with most of these guys, are the negotiations where YOU are the one holding the sledge hammer(massive consequence). Just threw it out there to see what you guys thought? By the way, this is a UK Mac. That is why it spells everything with a “u” 😉
SAFE PEOPLE
Are willing to negotiate the relationship. They let you know if they feel there is a problem between the two of you. They are interested in knowing how you feel about their behavior, if there seems to be a problem.UNSAFE PEOPLE
Don’t negotiate in relationships. They do not have good relationship histories. They have only a few friends or only subservient or dominant friends. Are vague about their motives, intentions, and commitments. They blame others when they are misunderstood.Very insightful and I think it’s true.
My ex never did anything until he had absolutely no other choice. And then he would lie about it and turn it into another bad thing.I like this thread. I also think it is fair to say that it is UNSAFE for SAFE people to try to negotiate with an UNSAFE person. they do not respond like a another SAFE person would. the rules just don’t apply.
All SA’s are unsafe IMO.
I sleep with a hammer under my bed. Sad, but true. Just in case. I’ve been out over a year now!
Safe is someone who would not knowingly expose you to pain and harm. My husband did not do that, even though he said he loved me.
Im offering a prize to whoever can tell me what the hell these guys mean when they say they “love” us. It sure doesn’t match any definition I have…. 🙁 Sorry Jo.
I assume “love” actually means “need” with these dudes…as in need a front, need a thrill, need a mother, need to not feel alone, need stability, need a centre, need to be the center of someone’s universe or everyone’s…take your pick. Note there is no “YOU’ in this picture? We don’t factor in other than what we can provide. I suppose that doesn’t mean they NEVER see us….though you do have to wonder? When you REALLY think about it…its a shockingly bad deal for their partner? Those of us who live with them….we couldn’t have our bar set much lower.
this whole experience has left me very confused about love. when a man says he loves me. what is that? i keep thinking Tina Turner– “what’s love got to do with it?” nothing. what does love have to do with abuse. harm. control. power. selfishness. lack of respect. deceit. where is love for the partner in those items? and behaviors?
i honestly do not know what love is anymore. but i know what it is NOT- another words, I can now define what love isn’t *thanks so exsah. it may actually be defining point to knowing what love IS and Could be, in my future. consistant loving behavior. that is what is required. but i don’t think it is out there. as of now, I think all men are sick/narc/liars out to use/abuse/get what they can. i don’t think there are good men anymore. or ones that will be worth while. not perfect, just worth the effort.
Love=you’re my beard, my mask, do as I say, not as I do and for gosh sakes don’t ever question my behaviors for I know not what I’m doing myself, ok well, that’s a lie, I actually know, I just choose to lead you to believe I couldn’t help myself.
What’s my prize Bonnie?? 🙂
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.