- This topic has 24 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 10 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I think most of you know my health problems with three shoulder surgeries behind me and one tendon transfer possibility in the near future on my left shoulder.
I had mentioned to my orthopedic surgeon, here locally, that my right shoulder was hurting and we both agreed that before we have the major surgery done on the left side that we should have a follow up MRI on the right side because I will be relying on that side when the other side is healing. I picked up the report at the hospital today. The results for the right shoulder show a large (11cm) full thickness rotator cuff tear.
Is God trying to tell me something? I’ve been really good about not over using that shoulder and not lifting anything heavy. I even used a rolling luggage carrier to move the laundry baskets from room to room and to the laundry room. I’ve asked numb nuts to do his work jeans himself because they are too hard for me to pull out of the washer. Fuck, if I do any LESS work around here I might as well be totally useless. WTF! I just want to curl up and go away.
Fuck that SA of mine. Fuck that he convinced me to buy this property and have these animals that I love with all my heart and now I can barely give them what they need besides hugs. Fuck that I have to rely on him even more now. Fuck that, fuck him, and fuck my body for letting me down. I can’t fucking believe it.
I better stop now before I break the keyboard from hitting the fucking letters so fucking hard.
I’m pissed, angry, sad, depressed, and I just don’t care about anything or anybody right now.
Sorry …… me
And fuck that I am in tears now.
It’s okay. I’ll get over it. I’m in shock right now and I needed to bend an ear.
Thank you all for loving me and being there for me. I love you all, too.
Claire
Claire, I am so very sorry for this bad news. We do love you and we are here for you. I wish so much that I could come and feed your animals, and help you around the house and get your SA in line – maybe with a flat head shovel. You deserve so much better.
{{{Hugs}}}
DaisyOh Claire, Like the sisters, if I was close I’d be so happy to help with your animals, etc. to get you through your surgeries and recovery. How can we help? Sending love and prayers. Lynn
Claire, this is awful news. Go ahead and spit and swear and cry and feel sorry for yourself. YOu should feel sorry for yourself.
Then you are just going to have to focus totally on your own healing, and what that’s going to take. I’m serious. What do you need to heal this injury? Write it down and then get it.
D.xoxoxWe need to start a help Claire fund and raise enough money to hire a high school or college kid for the summer to come and help her with the animals!!!
Claire…. Thinking of you…. And brainstorming!! We love you!!!
Claire I’m so sorrynthat you have received this bad news. Is there anything that can be done for you to repair the injury? Xo
Thanks sisters.
SL – don’t you dare raise money for me. we have health insurance and there’s a perfectly healthy man who lives here, I just have to make him do it, or let him do it, sometimes I don’t ask for help because, well, I don’t want his help. But now, he has to whether I want it or not.
You all have been very generous before and I greatly appreciate it, but I couldn’t stand to ask for charity.
Although, having a good looking ranch hand might help me heal faster!!! No, no, no, Claire!! Thanks for making me smile.
Much love, Claire
Claire, I want to help so badly and I know there is nothing I can do. I am glad you vented your anger…although you must know how the F word upsets me 🙂
I am so sorry honey. Life just keeps kicking you sometimes. Just let SA deal with more stuff. You don’t have a choice right now. You are not useless and your body is not letting you down. It just needs a little R and R…..
Plan your “get well” routine. Worry about the SA later. I can send you another pie 🙂
Claire,
Oh fuck!!!! You don’t need this too. I’m so sorry this is all sucking so bad right now. Maybe get some of that itching powder and you’d feel better: )I’m thinking of you Claire, sister friend!
Love, Napxo
So sorry, Claire! It doesn’t seem fair. People tell me that life is “teaching me a lesson” with all of the sa shit, but I feel like I really don’t need any more lessons! I’m sure it is the same with you. It seems like all of us women are pretty kick ass – that is the kind of woman that the sa’s look for so that we can over-compensate and make everything picture perfect for their world, while they are screwing things (literally) up outside of our marriages. I’m so pissed for you that you have all of this injury and so little of his support. Vent away, sister!
Ali who is telling you that the sa stuff is teaching you a lesson. Please punch them in the nose from me.
His day will come – and your relief, although overdue, is in the gift of who you are coming to light – enough with the generosity of spirit – put some stool softene in his tea and let him sit on the shitter for a while
OMG Claire,
Are you saying it tore just with you performing routine household chores?? What a nightmare for you and just when you are beginning to feel a real shift inside yourself. 🙁 I don’t want to jump ahead, but does this mean another surgery on the rt shoulder BEFORE the tendon repair on the left?? Why are your shoulders so messed up? I don’t remember that part- unless it is simply previous surgeries.
I know this creates huge problems for you with your animals and huge problems with your independence from him. Try to remember that independence can be partly a state of mind? I need my husband’s money but that only gives him access to my presence. It doesn’t give him access to my heart or mind. You are still you- with bad shoulders or without. If my mother were alive she would say you are being tested ( Irish Catholics always say that when life keeps knocking you down and they don’t know why). We are all behind you, even when we don’t have pat answers to solve your health problems. This is a major set back and there is no denying that. I really wish this had not happened at this time, Claire. Sometimes life just sucks big time. Love Karen xxClaire, this sucks – it really does! I liked what Diane wrote a lot! What do you need to heal this injury? Is it surgery, is it rest, is it rehab/PT? Write it down and then follow it through. Tell the SA that he will have to take over the care of the yard and the animals until further notice. Write up what they need daily so that you won’t have to feel guilty telling him each day what chores are required. Get in a lot of great books and a comfortable chaise lounge for your sun bathing 🙂 Make sure you have plenty of sunscreen and fresh iced tea and then take care of you!!! He is a grown fucking man and he can handle the rest. You take care of getting yourself well, strong and ready for your next move. If you have to take the spring and summer off to heal then so be it. Not one of us has enough days left on this earth for these ass holes to be able to pay us back for what they have done to our lives, but you can sure sit back and let him sweat over the next 6 months while you take care of you. No guilt either. He chose the shit he brought down on you. You did not choose shitty shoulders to make his life harder – so Fuck That SA!
You ladies are the absolute best. I was so very depressed over this whole shoulder issue. I’m still not up to par, but after spending all day today doing next to nothing and even got a nap, I feel a little better.
I go to see my local orthopedic surgeon on the 16th. He will tell me what I already know, that the right shoulder has a rotator cuff tear. I will ask him what to do since I’m scheduled to see the “shoulder specialist” in Los Angeles (3 hours away) on the 29th regarding the possible tendon transfer on the left shoulder. Honestly, I don’t have a clue what they will advise me to do. The left shoulder hurts everyday depending on how much I use it. I have pain pills that help me with that (though I’ve only been taking 1/2 a pill when I take them unless the pain is just unbearable) also I’m well versed in the use of ice packs and always have two in the freezer at all times, and then I have a TENS machine that uses electrical implulses that increase blood flow to the area. The right shoulder usually only hurts when I over use it. Right now I cannot lift anything heavy. Both arms are weak but I can do household chores. Sometimes have to vacuum using my hip to help push it. A full shopping cart that is heavy can be impossible for me to navigate in a parking lot, so I try to get help to my car.
It will be interesting to see what the doctor says, as I’m not sure if he’s even ever had a patient in this situation before.
Rest assured, SA will be helping out A LOT more!
Oops, he’s home. I’ll write more later.
much love, Claire
Will be waiting to hear what he advises Claire. Hang in there as there is little else you can do at this point? Karen xx
I totally know what your are going through with your shoulder pain Clare, although pornpig helped around the house he has been gone almost a year now. I had a total replacement of the left shoulder and had a bad rotator cuff tear of the right repaired with four large pins. This was before I was finally diagnosed, although first it was thought osteoarthritis, with psoriatic arthritis, which is an autoimmune disorder. Also had my left knee replaced and both thumbs reconstructed. Not meaning to hijack your thread just to let you know I really do know how much you are suffering.
I know you have probably tried just about everything. There may be something else to consider. Have you thought about the mattress you are sleeping on? How old is it? Maybe it is time you though about replacing it with one that would be better suited to your shoulder problems. It woulnd’t hurt to go to a few stores that only specialize in mattresses, obviously be wary of the ones that do the hard sell, look for the ones that really know their product, tell them in detail about your specific problems, try them out, maybe even try the ones you can raise the head up and down to see if this takes the pressure off your shoulders when it goes up. This is just a suggestion, that is all but it may be worth a try.
Juniemoon, you are so sweet to share your medical situation with us. It does help to know that someone else has an idea of what I’m going through. Thank you for speaking up. My goodness, you’ve had a lot done. Was all that done after you discovered your SA? It’s the stress that’s hampering my recovery, makes it so much slower which lends itself to re-injury easily if I’m not careful.
The advice on the mattress is a good one. But, we spent over $4,000 on a new bed just a couple years ago and SA is sleeping on it, he needed it for his back. It’s that Tempurpedic (looks like a big foam square). I don’t like it. But I’m sleeping in another room with my dog on the old king size bed with lots of pillows for positioning. Sleeping is very difficult because I can’t sleep on my left side, I can sleep on the right side but only for an hour or so, I’ve never been able to sleep on my back, and usually end up sleeping on my stomach, which is okay but I’m a flopper. Never stay in one place for very long! No money for any new beds and no room either, but thanks for the idea.
I’ll post Tuesday after I see my normal orthopedic surgeon and update what he says. I’m not looking forward to going to Los Angeles (hate that place) to see the specialist but I am looking forward to having an expert look at my situation.
Send me a private message, JM, I’d like to know why they opted to do a shoulder replacement on you instead of a tendon transfer, if you don’t mind. Thanks.
Much love, Claire
Sorry Claire I am still figuring out how to navigate this website I am a computer dummie. My orthopedic surgeon, who is one of the best in the country (he is known to be the go-to guy for shoulders, he has sports stars, etc. for patients, lucky me), said I would get the best results with the complete replacement (for the thumb reconstructions, he did use tendons from the inner arms). I was with PP for 16 years, the PSa (psoriatic arthritis symptoms) started about 7 years ago, PP left almost a year ago, I joked to him about having a midlife crisis (he is quite a bit younger than me) but I guess the joke was on me after all, I guess he really WAS having a midlife crisis.
Well when something really awful does eventually happen to him, we all have this eventually he has just been lucky so far, I will not be anywhere around, he can just put faith in his good time buddies, yeah they will be a big help, right.
I got the rotator cuff tear from swimming, yep I was swimming five to six hours a week swimming aggressively trying to lose weight to help with the arthritis and what do I do? Get a nasty tear on my right shoulder! And now with the psoriasis the chlorine in the water stings too badly for that also. So I guess walking is all there is without wrecking something.
I know how you feel sometimes, often even, you cry or scream then cry out of pain or frustration because of the pain I am too young to feel like an 87 year old. Now I know why old people are always grumpy, they’re always hurting lol! but I refuse to be an old person, that’s for other people, not for me! I refuse to go down without a good fight, dammit!
I am going to pour me some white wine, put in a CD by my favourite band English rockers Wire, listen to some of their more ferocious stuff (it’s alt, bit of punk, not metal) and arthritis can go screw itself.
- The forum ‘Health’ is closed to new topics and replies.