How likely is a Sex Addict to forget?

Something else I wanted to add. I think that after they have engaged in sex with someone else, they are reliving the scene over and over in their minds, kinda feed of them for a while – which is even more reason for the memory to be strong and not gone!

It’s called Euphoric Recall.

That’s when Sex Addicts replay certain images in their minds to induce a mild state of high.

My SA is a pathological liar. He uses the “I don’t remember” card constantly, even when hard evidence is placed in front of him. He claims to not remember how many times, how many prostitutes, what he did, where the money went, etc etc. He always says the same mantra {which I guess they learn at their SA meetings??} “We can’t keep looking at the past, we must only look at the future”. Nice concept, but not in this situation. In order to move into the future, all of the lies and all of the betrayal must be laid out on the table; EVERYTHING has to be there so I, as the victim, can see it, face it, get angry, cry, and then BURY it so I can move into the future. When there are still bones hidden in closets, I cannot move ahead as each time I think I’ve made some progress, I get hit in the head with another bone.

Great information ladies – much more so than most books or web sites. Here’s a new twist. My husband has said that he can’t remember many things he did because he was in a “trance” or something like a “blackout.” I ran this by my therapist on Monday and she was quite sceptical. She said that there was a possibility of a “trance” reaction due to disassociation due to a know or a yet to be discovered childhood trauma, a symptom of an undiagnosed personality disorder (duh) or he is just trying to cover his own ass. This is such a strange addiction. Well, his sex addiction therapist has been tasked with getting to the real cause of my husband’s memory “lapses.” I’m sure glad I’m not his therapist!

Hmmm… “euphoric recall” . That’s put a label on what my SA is extremely good at!!
When I discovered the extent of his acting out with prostitutes/escorts I also discovered an online community (similar to this one…. but one where prostitutes advertise their wares and the ‘punters’ compare notes and write ‘reviews’). My SA is very adept at writing and I found many very detailed, romancised ‘reviews’ he had written describing his times with various ‘working girls’ (thats how they euphemistically refer to themselves!)
I can only guess that he was getting off on the memory (euphoric recall) by writing down the explicit details of his times with various prostitutes…
It made horrible reading for me, but I read every one I could find!

Lynda and hurtheart, my SAH did the same thing and they call it being a hobbyist…That’s what he said at first: he wasn’t n addict, it was just a hobby. His counselor pointed at the retainer from his escort for over $26k and said, “You are an addict.” Duh. They write the escorts to get free membership on those erotic review sites. My SAH used the term “one in a lifetime” experience. It nearly killed me…now I am o.k. , but that totally meant that our 32 years of making love meant nothing to him. They do have selective memory. Mine can remember everything negative I have said to him…word for word…but can’t remember when all of this w/escorts started. So sad.

I never asked my SA “what all happened”? coz i knew i would never get an answer.
I found out as much as i could and TOLD him this is what has happened.
Never asked him to confirm knowing that i would get I “i dont remember” as an answer.
But i got ambushed in another way.
All that i asked him is “why “?
His answer….”i dont know”
Can you believe that?
“i dont know why i did that..i cant believe that was me..i am disgusted with myself..i am not doing it anymore “

Sighhhhh