how to not climb the walls

Just signed on an not sure what this is about so excuse me if I’m missing something, Nap, but getting lost a great movie (rental?) can take you away…

I usually do something to distract myself – it works well short-term. I spend time with people who don’t know anything about my “situation”; or go to an animal shelter or sactuary to care for or play with them; or retail therapy (although expensive) usually works.

Diane and all,
Thank you for starting this post and I appreciate all the good responses. Ive been in a hotel since March 18th and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone unless you live somewhere beautiful like Hawaii. I think its been long enough and time for me to move on…I even change my own sheets and make my bed for the cleaning ladies who are like my best friends now. thanks again for your thoughtfulness love you lots, nap

HI NAP,
I think you are doing fine really considering the circumstances. You only have two weeks to go until bliss, when you get your home and pets back, and daughters who will each have their own room. I can’t wait for you.

I was on bedrest for three months, that was terrible, because i am such a busy person. NAP your situation is def. better, you can get out of bed and leave her hotel room. But staying in bead cinsisted of video games on my leaptop (peggle), doing the bills, soduko, crosswords, reading, and ALOT of TV. But for you, you can leave your room. That is what I suggest you do, get out, go to the park, go to a movie, go for a walk, put together your resume, volunteer. Prepare for the new house in some ways…get the pets new tags with new phone numbers etc. Check out that new grill? couches? look for the best prices…start shopping craiglsist if you cannot get new…there are some great finds out there.

Are you going to get some stuff from your house? or do you have to start new?

Red wine and aged cheese always makes me feel happy! But my h told the therapist that I’m not very nice to him when I drink so she told me to stop drinking for a while! So now I’m not very nice to him ever ~ and he can’t figure it out!

So ~ go out for good coffee in the morning, take your computer and find wifi somewhere fun. and go out for good ice cream before bed!

When I am losing it I…

cry…cry…cry…

say words about my h that aren’t pretty

cry out to God

believe psalm 37…fret not because of evil people,
trust in the Lord, rest in the Lord, delight in the Lord, commit your way onto the Lord, cease from anger…those people who do wrong will stand before God as every second of their lives is played before Him and others. Remember…do good. (paraphrased, obviously)

When I am overwhelmed with pain I cry for a while, sometimes a long while…I fret over the wrongs done to me…THEN, sometimes I say, “Enough is enough…I will now do good for someone.” And I ascend from my grieving session and do good for someone else. (But mostly I cry. LOL)
b. trayed

Nap,

My thoughts are with you and you are in my heart. I am so impressed with how strong you are. You have been faced with so much in your life and your spirit continues to shine. You step up to the challenge every time life deals you a difficult situation. You have grace, dignity and courage and have shown this through your actions. Road blocks have been many for you including the fire, family mental issues, leaving your career to care for family, marriage problems, and now on top of all of that a huge does of SA, and that just names a few of the top contenders. You have managed to work your way through these problems with a mental alertness and caring spirit. While managing these issues of your own, you offer all of us ladies here support and encouragement. You offer intelligent advice, balanced cool headed suggestions, and often make us laugh at the same time.

It makes me so sad to think of everything you do for your family, friends, and now your sisters here on SOS while sitting in a hotel room. That just makes my head spin. And than you make the most of that too by making friends with the staff and never really talking about how hard it must be to wake up everyday in that room.

Nap, you are an incredible woman. I am so proud of you and try to honor you by facing life with your frame of mind. I wish I could find something concrete to offer you in terms of “what to do when you are beside yourself”. I find that I am beside myself daily. It has become a way of life for me. Thankfully due to you and all of the sisters here, I have been finding strength. I have found that it helps me to be physically active when I am at my worst. I went through months of being in the fetal position lying in bed. I spent my awake time researching and learning everything I could possibly learn about anything relating to the situation I am facing. Some people told me that I was obsessive in my efforts to educate myself. Perhaps I am, but for me, learning brought some clarity to a senseless situation. I spend a lot of time journaling and compiling information that speaks to me. Writing things out or typing them on my laptop, somehow brings me peace. It helps me to know that I have a place where I can go look at my thoughts. Knowing that I can look things up that are circling in my mind helps me to clear my mind for other things. I can let go of the thought that I am suffering from for the moment and not fear that I will forget about it. That seems kind of odd because I guess the ultimate goal is to release and let go of what ever it is that is bothering you for good. I think that when it is the right time for me, I let go of what I am ready to. It helps to have a place to store these thoughts to relieve the anxiety that I might forget the work I have accomplished.
The other thing that I do is I force myself to do something physical with my body. Exercise is very important to me. I try to Jazzercise everyday. This forms of exercise combines cardio and core strength training, focusing on every muscle area of your body. I have been jazzercising on and off for 20 years. For those of you who remember the stereotype of the ladies in thong leotards of the 80’s dancing to the beat, Jazzercise has come a long way from that. We still dance to the currant top hits, and the routines are fun and quite a workout. My daughter who is 21 and very “in shape” has come with me often and is amazed at the intensity of the workout. Don’t let the intensity scare you off. You can be in class and work at what ever intensity that feels right for you. I have found the ladies at Jazzercise to be welcoming and supportive just like the ladies here on SOS. There are all levels of ages, sizes in class. Everyone is just supportive of you as a woman trying to get your body strong. The people there are not judgmental and everyone is just trying the best they can to be healthy. When I started back after being in the fetal position for about a year, I literally had to “FORCE” myself. I cried all the way there, I would workout, and than cry all the way home. I hardly spoke to anyone and sometimes could not even last the entire hour of class. I was just so sad and hurting but at the same time, I knew my body needed to be worked. Once I started to become stronger, it became easier and I remember telling myself “If there is nothing else I can do today because of my sadness, at least do this for your body”.

Ok this is getting long winded. I don’t know why I do this. So sorry ladies. Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is try to move your body. Nap, force yourself to walk everyday. Even if you say you are going to walk for 10 minutes. Go do it! Walk for 10 minutes. You will be surprised how quickly 10 minutes will spread in to 20 and 30 and an hour. Make this a priority. When your body feels like it is working, it really does help you mentally.

Oh and one more thing. I am not some kind of exercise guru who has this incredibly fit and beautiful body. I am a normal 50 year old woman with thighs that have always been to big for the rest of my body. I wanted to pass this on to any of you that might be in my same position. I can remember a time after I had babies and I had put on a lot of weight that my mind frame for exercise was to get back into the my pre-baby shape. This way of thinking was not good for me because it created a pressure for me that I felt was not obtainable. I put off exercise for a long time because I felt like I would never be able to look like what “society” thought in shape is. It felt overwhelming for me to compare myself to an image that I knew I could never get to. At some point I changed my reason for exercise. I wanted to exercise because it was good for my heart and my soul. I told myself that I was not trying to reduce my size by exercising. I was exercising for my health and internal body, not what I looked externally. Changing my reason for exercise helped me to stay with it and feel good about it. I was doing it for me, not to support the exploitive image that society has of the female figure.

So NAP, I don’t know what you do for your body, but I say, GO WALK YOUNG LADY!!!!!!!! Make it a goal to walk everyday and try to build up to three to five miles.

And come visit me!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs

I would Come visit you too if you are not far, far away!! 🙂