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I really need to look for a job and instead I read SOS. The truth of it all, I don’t know if I could do a full-time job….. but I know it’ll be good for me. And I’m a year out!
This is pretty horrific stuff. I’ve been through lots in my life and it still surprises me how much this has brought me to my knees.
Be warned: with me, I functioned fairly well initially and then as my denial peeled off and the realization that he might not get better, it got worse.
Deb
I feel better today. My girls and I did Waffle House came home and we all, including SAH did a major cleaning in the house. My house is (mostly) spotless. We’ll go to church tomorrow, then we’ll tell the girls. Then I hope to be able to make it to the grocery store. I just hope they are able to hold up.
If you can manage all that then you are super woman!! I could not and cannot go to church with H…
I still can’t do it.
((Hugs)) Deedee. I can’t even imagine having kids to worry about on top of it all. But you will do it. You can. You’ll make it.
I’m glad you are feeling a bit better. When I get down on my housekeeping skills I watch hoarders. Then I feel much better. There at least is no dog shit on my floor. I also buy a lot of roasted chicken. Hell someone cooked it fresh. I am a people pleasing perfectionist. I had to totally let that go. I get up, go to work, kids clean and fed. Somedays I even laugh with the kids. One foot in front of the other. I’d love to do more than survive but I’m going to stop beating myself up about it because that just isn’t smart. It could always be better but it could be much much worse.
DeeDee – I’m glad to hear your doing okay (all things considering). I’ve been thinking about you all weekend! Sending big hugs that telling your girls will go okay. I think kids are smarter and more resilient than we give them credit for. I keep thinking about what you said about growing up in a family of secrets and the effect that can have on you as you get older. Just remember, we don’t want that for our daughters and be as honest & open as you can and you will get through it together.
My (almost) 11 year old keeps asking “how did he hurt you” I made him say the words “I hurt your mom deeply and because of that I need to move out”. That was okay for awhile after she stopped crying I told her if she wanted to talk about it we could she said I’m 11, you can tell me – I think she’s trying to comfort me. I told her (right or wrong) that her dad was doing things that a married man should not do so he had to leave. That seemed to have sufficed for now. My youngest just still wants him around.
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