I can’t focus!

You are NOT alone Monique and what you are feeling is totally normal for the place you are in on this journey. Go easy on yourself. Next year will be better. I promise.

Hugs,
Daisy

I couldn’t do anything last Christmas. I have no idea how I got thru any of it. I can tell you it gets better.

Monique don’t try to do everything. Bake some cookies and take care of yourself. The kids will be happy if you are happy.

Big hug to you.

Monique, I just put the first wrapped gifts under the tree an hour ago. The tree has been up for a bit now. No tree topper either but the gifts were just put under the tree tonight. Dec 23rd. How sad is that? The gifts sat unopened in their shipped boxes for weeks on my bookshelf in my bedroom. Pathetic.

You’re not alone.

Just do what you can do and don’t worry about the rest. Make sure you take time for self care. You are a hero for getting through this Christmas. Most women wouldn’t be able to do anything at all.

I can totally relate. I am so sorry. Christmas is about family so when yours is torn apart it is hard to find the joy I agree. When you find it …. those moments make sure you relish it. I can’t wait to get these holidays behind me.

Good luck, sending warm wishes and love your way. Remember YOU deserve better and things will get better!

Some of these guys are just more blatant assholes than others. I don’t know that it makes any situation any better or worse for us as a spouse but when they keep coming after the kids then it turns into hell beyond description….

It’s mind boggling that they are so pathetic that they can’t even be civil for the sake of their own children.

I will never understand what goes thru their minds. I suppose that you just have to confront it head on and know that your child has a monster for a biological father…

I was emailing with Lili ( from PoSarc) the other day and she mentioned how horrifying it is to watch your husband choose hookers ( or porn or skanks or whatever penis activity) over his family. They chose to marry. They chose to have children. They chose “family oriented ” partners. Then when caught, they are angry and blame us and our kids.

There just isn’t much you can do with that kind of crazy.

Monique, you tell that fucking pervert husband of yours that he doesn’t have the right to EVER be angry again. Don’t you let him take his anger out on that boy. When my H could no longer use me to be angry with, he started on my son. I was told by all the stupid MC’s to stay out of the way and let them work it out ( he was 10 or 11 at the time). I KNEW it was wrong. I stepped in. Even in my craziest moments ( right after d day), I instituted the NO anger in my home rule. He could walk away, drive away, go fuck a hooker, whatever… But he was not allowed to be angry in my home ever again.

Stand up to him Monique. You can do it for your kids. I had trouble standing up for myself while he made everything my fault. When he started in on the kids I got wise.

Merry Christmas Ladies…. Tomorrow is another day 🙂

Monique, Last year all I could muster was nestle tollhouse. That was 3 months after confrontation/move out day. This year I had my third batch of dough made when my 6 year old said “Mommy why do we need so many cookies?” Ha. I don’t know. I had no good answer and it kind of calmed me down a bit. This year we tried some new traditions. Silly stuff like getting chicken fingers and riding around the neighborhood listening to carols and looking at Christmas lights. He’d have hated that cause eating in the car was a no no. Comfort may come in something different for you now. Hugs. Merry Christmas.

You are not alone. Whatever unidentified autoimmune disorder I have is pretty disabling. Chronic pain, joint pain, the itching, etc. But the deadening fatigue and brain fog is the worst. From posts from others, this is very common. Hang in there and try to get help for your PTSD. I am so sorry. My H is sorry sorry sorry, and tells me he thinks this will heal. I told him, there is stuff that will never heal. I went from young athletic, vibrant, artist, to someone who feels deadening fatigue an hour after getting up. I have actual illness now, not just “emotional.” I hope you get all the self care you need, including finding the right medical treatment. It is absolutely real what you are going through. I think it’s great you can make cookies. I can’t even do that. Stay as strong as you can.

BeenThere, that sounds simply horrific and way too big a price to pay. I firmly believe these men make you sick with all manner of ailments with the most predominant ones resulting from a failure of the immune system to cope. I believe it is the back breaking, relentless stress that is at the root of much of it. Almost anyone on here will tell you it was the most difficult situation they had ever dealt with in their entire lives. There is something so profound about being betrayed and abused by the one person you should have been able to trust the most. It creates great damage to the body and the psyche.
I hope you can find your way back to health. I’m beginning to wonder if some of these more extreme tactics to heal the gut (juice fasts, elimination diets ect) might not have something to them? The gut is responsible for much of our immune system and mine is completely out of wack. Just the same, my health improved ten fold when I separated myself physically and then emotionally….with the latter being key I think. It severely reduces their ability to impact you.
Hugs Karen