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I can’t be alone here and I know I’m awful for even admitting this but…..
My husband is big into my daughters sports.
She talks about one friend she has and has spent time at their home. My husband knows the mom and dad. I was finally able to go to one of her games the other day because I didn’t have to be at work til later. The friend’s mom and dad (separately) introduced themselves to me. The mom first and then later the dad. I was talking to my daughter and the dad asked if I was her mom. I said yes, we shook hands and chatted a bit.It was one of those eye lock moments and as he turned away I thought “I would so do him given different circumstances.”
Meaning not married and not my daughter’s friend’s dad. My husband was 10 ft away.
He was somewhat tall, built and a hottie.
This is where being married to a sa has me. Normally, I wouldn’t have given him a second thought other than “he’s cute.” Nothing I would act on, even now, but damn he was good looking.
I so need to get laid.
I’m horrible.
I see a dad on the school run,hes married too so of course,out of bounds.
Hes not the kind of guy who would generally catch my eye.But when he smiles at me,i feel a bit giddy,theres something about him..I mostly try to avoid him sometimes in case he picks up on my pathetic desperation.
FN, could this really be your mind and body telling you that you may be ready to move on? I wish I could feel this way. I don’t think you really want this particular man…just that you may be ready to live again!
I think my daughter’s advisor ( who is also head of middle school advisory) is a hottie. He is married and has 2 kids. I do smile at him though 🙂
I’m thinking all kinds of thoughts I never thought I would, for-now. Wishing death on my ex, understanding why parents kidnap their kids, etc. It’s like the old reality has broken down and who knows what will pop up next.
Oh thank God, FN, I thought you were going to say your H was checking out the girls on your daughters’ sports teams!!!
I think it makes you human – there is nothing wrong with thinking someone is attractive. There is nothing wrong with a little flirting. What would be wrong is taking it to the next step – you aren’t going to do that. So enjoy the little ego boost and the knowledge that you’re alive and a sexual being and go on with your day.
FN, i think that about EVERY attractive man right now!! i am a loose cannon, i’m actually afraid of what will happen when word gets out in my community that i’m single. will i be able to stop myself? 🙂
must be because i’ve been seriously neglected in that area for the last ten years..
don’t worry, just keep yourself safe, and enjoy feeling sexually alive.
Here’s a funny story… When my SA came home from his intensive. I went out with my daughter (who is 21). We went to a club with her boyfriend. It was a 70’s / 80’s dance club. We had a blast. A little wierd being there with my adult daughter who is very pretty.
I noticed some men kind of staring at us. The three of us were dancing. My feeling was gosh these older men looking at young girls is gross. Just then, one of them walked up to me and asked me if he could buy ME (the old one- not feeling so good about herself) a drink. I let him. He was attractive, thin, well dressed and educated ( I found out later).
I had a few drinks with him and danced the night away. It was just dancing. My daughter who knows about her step-father’s problems found this entertaining. She was like Mom you’ve still got it! This man was about 6 years younger than me.
He gave me something my husband took away from me. My confidence. He’ll never know the gift he gave me. It ended there, nothing to it – just a drink, a dance, my confidence and a feel good moment! We all need a feel good moment!
lisak your post has made me laugh so much!I love straight talking and honesty.Two aspects my h has not heard of unfortunately!
Patsy, it could be. Who knows. All I know is that I keep thinking about that quick chat and me subtly doing a once over as he moved around me.
All I know is that I have so much pent up sexual energy that God help the next man I sleep with. I’ll probably hurt him. Lol!!!
FN some time ago I posted that when I first learnt about my husband’s cheating I would look at men and imagine having sex with them. I wanted to feel attractive to a man because I felt I was not attractive to my husband. I also felt at the time that the marriage was over so I wonder if it a natural instinct.
I have to say too that this is not like me at all. I don’t have a wandering eye at all. I might pass a handsome man and think he is attractive but the thought doesn’t go past that thought.
I hope you girls ‘get some’. After all a woman isn’t a camel.Don’t mention camels. It brings to mind riding horses which brings to mind a well endowed man and…..well, you get the rest 😉
I really need to quit listening to Kenny Rogers song Daytime friends and night time lovers.
Deep Sigh……….
One time when I was post divorce this really cute much younger guy on a call hit on me. I try to avoid dating men i meet on calls or put in jail 😉
As we left my partner said “Damn, he had it bad for you. You’d have killed him.”
I laughed and said “Yeah, at the least I’d have given him a heart attack.”
We laughed so hard. The funny thing was we both knew it was true.
My old partner was a boob man. Those I got. His thing was since I wouldn’t let him touch mine he just wanted to hear from someone else what they were like.
He was always making me feel good even tho it was a little misguided at times. It’s sad that I am so confident at work as far as feeling like the guys see me as attractive. Some have flat out offered their services if I should ever be of the need.
If they only knew……..
FN I would go for you if I was a guy! I have never felt attractive to men. All my friends were quite successful at attracting men and I was a little mouse on the sideline living vicariously through them. I didn’t even get so much as a pick up line or even a second glance for that matter! My old boss was always saying dirty things but he was a 180kg dirty old man with horrible thick elephant-like skin on his heels so I can tell you it was easy to ignore him.
Thanks Cat. I feel like a toad at home and a beauty at work. Sad to say.
Most cops are pigs anyway so while hitting on me does stroke my ego I don’t act on it since I’ve seen the trash they try to get with.
The best I can say for some of those girls is well at least she has all of her front teeth or at least her tattoos are spelled correctly.
I say we were set up. Think about it. Two things:
1) The focus of our lives after DDay is sex. Not that we want it so much, but all the hell it’s riled up in our lives and those of our families, etc. What the SA might be doing, what he got away with, all the flashbacks of stuff we’ve seen, etc. Yes, we get grossed out. But, if your focus is dragged back to S-E-X fifty times a minute, when you see a great looking man and you haven’t been allowed off of the subject of penis activities for three minutes straight in months or years, then TA-DA – sex in the flesh in front of us without the slime mold coating, oh my! These SAs have put us mentally on ground zero, where apparently men exist 24/7/365. Is that horrible? That’s how it is from my perspective. It’s not even really us, it’s the neighborhood we’re forced to live in while dealing with this SA misery. Can we NOT think sex in this situation? I hate that more than anything, really. I used to really, really enjoy intimacy and now it’s like their damn arcade and I’m just a coin operated toy like the other women in his eyes. NO WAY! I want it on my terms, too.
2) And then there’s the fact that a woman is a sexual being, who, if left neglected for too long, will move to the next thing when she feels she has the freedom to do so and a good candidate. They want you, and he hasn’t for a while OR he has and he’s just treating his treasure like a hole in the mattress. Either way, a woman can do better than that, and she will.
That’s how I see it.
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