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My husbands pocket just dialed me at 3:30 in the morning. He was flirting and having a great time with a woman, he told me he was in bed at 10:00 because he had to be awake at 7 to go diving.
And, he someonehow managed to disable the spyware on his phone. He knew it was there as part of accountability, but didn’t have the passwords or anything. Guess I was the fool. yet again.
I’m filing first thing Monday and it cannot get here quick enough.
Lori
Oh, Lori:( You have been an intelligent, kind, loving woman that any other man would be grateful to have in his life, never an idiot. That would be his role. Thinking about you,
Your friend,
Marielori im so sorry but you now can do what you need to do with a clear mind no more doubt no more questions, please know that i am with you and call me day or night if your need a sounding board or a friend
love kattGood for you Lori [ You have been through enough, and really gone the extra mile to make things work.
It is time to get out!
My thoughts are with you – sounds like we will be in divorce court about the same time.
Love to you.Lori,
Thinking of you…you are not an idiot. You are a beautiful, smart, loving, caring woman who deserves so much better. Hes the fucking idiot for losing such a lovely wife…Love, NAPLori,
So painful! Hopefully you will find a bit of calm in moving forward with your decision. I feel all of your different emotions with you. We are here for you and send you hugs!
CindyThank so much!
Of course now he is claiming his phone was stolen and that was not him. He was in bed at his hotel. Doesn’t matter I called proabably 1o times. He “just didn’t hear it” Oh, and whoever stole his phone new there would be spyware on it and how to uninstall it . A little fishy considering he also went out and spent 88.00 on getting drunk at a bar. I am certain he was buyng someone drinks with that tab. And that is one of my “boundaries” He is not to go out drinking alone, much less in a city out of town where he is staying alone in a hotel room. So many things just don’t add up yet I am ” a hatefull bitch” and I am lying just to have an excuse to file PAAALLLLEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!! Did I just fall off the turnip truck yesterday?
Even if his phone was lost or stolen and it truley wasn’t him, so many other things point to bad behavior.
Really gets me riled up. I so wish I had missed our first date and kiss.
Lori
Lori,
I think he’s telling you a lie. Please stay with how it felt right after you heard him flirting with another woman-that is your true feeling-not the one that starts to rationalize. I do the same exact thing…..thinking of you…NAPDear Lori,
you are not an idiot. When your SA made the promises, expressed the remorse etc., it just looked like the thing you needed and he was offering it. But the SA is not in the same place at all. The reference points for them are not the ones that are yours. The framework in which his promises are made is the same place in which the lying and acting out take places. It just LOOKS like they’ve come to their senses. It SOUNDS like they understand. Even when those moments are genuine, they are just “episodes” of reality that break into the larger unreality of the world where they can do anything they want, don’t care about you or their children, and never be accountable for any of it. It is very very sad and tragic, especially if you really loved them. You are not an idiot. This is something that does not fit into the frames of understanding with which we operate. We would have to make adjustments in our thinking to grasp the insane reality where they spend most of their time.You are not an idiot. NAP was wise in calling you back to that first feeling/intuition/instinct when you heard him flirting. Stay with your reality and move within it in a way that makes sense and gives life to you.
blessings on your head,
D.His phone was stolen? Yea, that’s a good one. I don’t know where these SA’s come up with this crap. Sorry to say, but I don’t believe a word of it. He’s caught, and trapped, and when the SA is caught, they will lie until they are blue in the face, rather than own up to what they did. I agree with Katt; he’s the fucking idiot. Keep your head up!
Lori,
I agree with the others, sounds like a farce. If he used a credit card to pay for the drinks, it may have a time stamp on the cc statement when it comes through, or you may be able to check the online statement? usually there is a time. If he paid cash then i guess that will not work. As you said $88 is a huge tab for one person. That would be about 8 martinis or 14 glasses of wine, or about 22 bottles of beer. I would be dead if I drank that much, and i would guess so would he. You are not hateful you are just standing up for yourself, and he does not like it. I wish you well lori. Stick to your guns.
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