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Just wanted you guys to know that I haven’t forgotten about you…I’ve just been in an awful rut..and even though I REALLY want to talk about it…I rarely have any time. My daughter just turned 3 and is VERY needy..she’s on top of me all the time and rarely sleeps. She loathes when I’m on the computer or the phone. So it’s always hard for me to get on here…
I have been in a bad place for so long that I have no clue how to dig my way out of it. At this point I feel like either running away or checking myself into a psych hospital. My “thing” is the ruination of my life and I have nobody to turn to. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I started going to therapy on my own and have been DX’d with PTSD {from both my “thing’s” actions and the death of my daughter’s twin brother, as well as my numerous illnesses and near death experiences} panic disorder and depression. I’ve been doing “exposure” therapy which is almost impossible to do when I have my daughter with me 24/7 and my “thing” still lives with me.
I have much more to say but I cannot type quickly enough. I’ll be back soon.Hurtheart, I’ve been thinking of you lately and wondering how you are. Sending you strength to find your way to happiness. Love, Liza
Hurtheart – thanks for checking in… now that I know, I can pray for you. I believe very much in the power of prayer.
Please remember that all this is way too much for anyone to cope with and dont beat yourself up for feeling how you feel. Its all very valid and very painfully real.
Here in England, spring has been very much on its way – the weather has broken, we’ve had some glorious sunshine and warmer days. If there are any sunny days, please try to get out the house for a short walk in a park – feel the sun in your bones and know that this too will pass.
Sending much love your way x
Dear Hurtheart,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. I can remember when my son was young–you can barely go to the bathroom, so I understand it is hard for you stay connected. But please keep coming back for support–even if you can only post a little about where you are. All of us can relate. Sending you love and keeping you in my prayers! Hang in there!!!hi hurtheart,
thanks for making the effort to connect when you’re not feeling very good about things. I understand that feeling, and I remember your terrible grief over your sons death. Too much to bear, and add on an SA—that’s a lot.
What’s going on with your daughter that she’s so clingy and won’t sleep? I’m wondering if you need to get a medical or pyschological assessment there. Is that possible for you?
lots of light,
Diane.Dear Hurtheart,
So great to hear from you. I am so sorry that circumstances are what they are right now. And it is hard to reach out when you are not feeling well. You are dealing with sometremendous losses and struggles right now. Doing whatever it takes to make YOU feel better, do it. Can you get a babysitter for a little while? For some much needed personal time. Can you ask “thing” to hold his daughter? then you run out the door for a few hours to have some much needed time to yourself? Even if it is a cup of coffee and sitting in a park, or cafe for an hour — and just think about what you want out of life.
YOur a great mom. Struggling dearly. You need time for you. He needs to watch her and you go somewhere. even if it means you have to lie. you have a dr. ‘s appointment, baby can’t come. you are going to the gym. you neeed to see your OB GYN. you have a job interview. i mean whatever you have to say / do/ to get out of there for a breath of life away from baby and and “thing.” do you have any options there? or transportation?
Hi hurtheart-I am so sorry you are hurting. I wondered what happened to you. The sister’s said it all, but just want you to know I am thinking of you and my prayer’s are with you.
Love,
Sharron
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