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H and I have been separated since Mar 10 after my gps email alerted me he had been at the adult video/bookstore. He’s living with his parents currently. Tonight he told me via text that after his sa meeting tonight he got invited to a smaller men’s SA group that meets on Tues morns at 630 at Grandy’s. At first he said he was excited then he hesitated bc it is literally walking distance from the bookstore he was caught at Mar 10 (he now refers to it as his NO FLY ZONE). I said since it’s down the street from his parents and he takes his veh which has gps and not his work veh which doesn’t as well as his iphone then he should go. He thinks for some reason I have gps on his phone which I don’t (in case I decide to see where he’s at wink wink) so why admit that???? HA!!! I’ve been wanting him to go to a SA meeting more than once a week so I’m for it. What say you???
I personally think that 12 step meetings can be a great recovery tool. Who cares if it’s next to the bookstore? If he’s going to go there, he’s going to go there. Remember – you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it.
Deb
That’s basically how I was seeing it. As long as he doesn’t leave his phone at the office because you know, gps tells all. Lol!!!
For-now, your pic is beautiful, whether you are on the left or in the middle.
At 6:30 in the morning, the store won’t be open will it?
I agree with Deb. There’s smut everywhere. Either you are getting your shit together or you aren’t….(and he’s probably NOT.) (it’s that spade thing!!!) I understand that we have to limit and minimize our temptations…. But his “no fly zone” is annoying. There are all kinds of ways to get smut. Not JUST THAT ONE STORE he is doing HIS BEST to avoid. Ugh. I can’t stand these stupid fuckers.
March,
I get your point, but only because it might be a trigger for HER. He is reminding me of a five year old acting like he is standing in the store parking lot making a cross sign with his fingers.Grow up, dude.
If I’m near the refrig it’s a trigger. If I’m near a bowl of candy it’s a trigger. If this location is going to trigger him then I agree with March.
I can see both sides. it could be upsetting to either of you. A trier for him and you peraps would start ondering if thats where he is.
And on the other hand that is only one of 1000 places he could go.
Who the hel has a SA group down the street from an adult bookstore and at a Grandys no less?
I think it smells fishy. If the bookstore witin walking distance of Grandys
Maybe I’m an idiot, but I think it’s actually a good sign that he told you about it, for-now. I think you gave him good advice. xoxo
This adult bookstore is open 24 hrs. I think they picked that hr and that place bc its not so busy BUT it being around the corner from the bookstore was what made me ask do these guys not know what’s around the corner?? But again, it is also near his parents where he’s been living so I guess we can’t control everything. I had heard of smaller groups from the therapist so I wasn’t feeling it was weird, just the loc near the bookstore. Yes, him telling me was something I welcomed but I don’t hold my breath, I just keep him at arms length. Diane, I am on the right in my avatar pic (the starred out face) and I’m in the middle of ksondy’s avatar (not starred)….
Thanks Debora! As are you! We are all quite the beauties and to be dealt this hand in life being with someone who has made us feel like the ugly disgusting pigs we married is a true travesty!!
Not to Always be negative, but from my experience only- my SA Would occasionally (and conveniently) bring up something (like yours did about the bookstore) and appear to be “turning over a new leaf”, being honest for once in his pathetic life, pretending to be proactive in a situation – especially one that involved something that had happened recently (like yours in your recent busting of the adult book store). In my case, he was appearing to be up front and honest- but later I found out that OF COURSE, all the while….he was up to his no good tricks STILL…. he just happened to be staying clear/clean of what ever was bothering me at the moment.
Sigh….. Honestly, I just don’t trust these fuckers.
YA THINK????
I agree SL….I’m in limbo bc I want the marriage, husband and man I thought I married yet I am tired of dealing with this monster deep inside him. Although his has been strictly viewing porn, books and mags and blatantly eye fucking women in my presence with me standing next to or sitting with him it still hurts the same. Then the other half of me says why bother? All he’s going to do is try to be good for awhile and then at some point there will be another incident and I’ll be right back to square one no matter how much progress I’ve made at that point. Which by then I will really be kicking myself for not getting out this time. That’s why I’m riding this separation out as long as possible. It took me 5.5 yrs to get to this point so no one is going to rush me into making a decision. Like his wanting to watch porn all those years and never considering my feelings I’m choosing to ride the limbo fence til I have an epiphany one way or the other and I could care less if that upsets him, just like how he did me.
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