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has he had any experience with abuse,trauma. then his view porn, and if that goes well i would ask if hes ever heard of sex addiction. and if he felt there was such a thing.
NAP is good at this one. I was not good at picking/asking questions. I think the feel you get from them, their reputation as a divorce firm and recommendations are about as good as you can do. google them. See if anything good or bad pops up. There are some websites where you can rate them. Its hard to get a feel for an atty in an hour, unf. that is all you get. And then you have to hand over the cash. You often don’t know they are good or bad until they are almost done or through your retainer. I liked my second atty alot. However they were a frim that dealt with divorce alto. Their retianer was slightly higher than initial guy i went with. In the aned it was the lowest bidder cost more type of situation, he racked up tones of extra cost and fees.
I still have to deal with that one….
Anyway. Good luck.
How are you?Get the best attorney you can afford–make it a stretch. Make sure he/she’s well connected, knows the judges etc. (Plays golf with them, even better). Divorce is a game just like everything else. You want to have the best team.
My attorney is a long time friend and has been my attorney for years. Although we are both using her for the divorce, she is definitely partial to me. She also knows all the judges very well, and tells me there is only one she will work hard not to get, because he is not in favor of post numps.
Thanks.Is this a free consultation? You may want to consult with several attorneys before choosing one. If it were me, I’d start with the basics… grounds for divorce in your state, is it a community property state, etc. Is it a no fault state? In some states the specifics of the marriage and reason for divorce make no difference. The man could have cheated a dozen times and it won’t change the ruling one bit. In other states it could be a huge factor. Since time is money and a LOT of money with an attorney, perhaps give him/her an extremely short paraphrasing of the worst things he has done and see if he/she thinks those actions will have any effect at all on the outcome. I’m not sure if I’d bring up the subject of sex addiction right away. You may end up spending precious time trying to explain it. I don’t think WHY he has done what he has done is near as important as that the things were done in the first place. However, If there is a custody battle, then it could play a huge role.
Here is a link to some generalities to consider:
http://life.familyeducation.com/divorce/family-law/45529.htmlThanks Kim-This is a no-fault divorce state. If you are married 10 yrs. you are entitled to 1/2 of marital assets. Being married only 2 doesn’t helpt in that department.
Steve is being very nice about this and is offering me $500./mo. alimony for life. Was willing to offer $980./mo for life, but I couldn’t accept that-not fair to impact his life-long retirement savings for only 2 yrs. married.
Pay off car, dental/vision and long term care insurance for life. Can’t beat that for two yrs. of marriage.
Thanks for the info.Sharron, it is good he is offering alimony for life. In my state it would not be required, and I’m told I wouldn’t get it for 2 years marriage. Certain my H wouldn’t offer. Maybe after 5 I’d stand a chance of getting something. Certainly after 10.
lynng-My state does not offer alimony until 10 yrs. either. I am very lucky to have a h who will look after me for whatever reason.
Have you talked to your husband about what he might be willing to do for you. Maybe he would have a quick pang of guilt if you get him at the right moment. The trick is to treat him with kindness. I know it is difficult to do, but if you think he might be open to some kind of a settlement – do whatever it takes.
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