- This topic has 60 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I say give it a whirl….you can have a casual meeting in a public place then decide if you want to see him again. It sounds like you have travel in common and you’re both light packers. Like March and others said we can only go up from here unless you find put he’s a pervert. He’s got a black lab and I love black labs.
Yes, I know Trish, I will do a separate topic on AFF and AM. They are completely fake. No one meets anyone (I hate absolutes, but I am pretty secure in that statement). It’s all a fantasy game with fake profiles and computer generated texts and e-mails.
But, there are some nice people out there.
His match.com profile photo is current, it’s the same one he has on twitter.
I hope that I have learned enough from my experience with Larry to be able to spot red flags, but not be so cynical that I withdraw from healthy, normal interaction with men.
The best way to forget an old man is to find a new one. ~ JoAnn
I’m so not there yet that it has taken me hours just to be able to read this thread. But he sounds nice to me and I say go for it. Meet him somewhere safe and see if there’s any spark. A travel buddy would be awesome. No permanent ties, just a good friend and maybe a lover if the chemistry works out. That would be the best of all worlds. And if he’s mean to you in ANY way the entire ‘hood is going to descend on him and beat his ass into the ground. Just sayin’…. Love you JoAnn!
Yes Daisy, that is exactly what I am looking for. I want to keep my independence yet have someone to do things with and hopefully have a caring, gentle, knowledgable lover in my bed whenever I want it.
Thanks for the moral and promise of physical support, I know I can always count on the Sisters. ~ JoAnn
Joann,
This is an exciting time for you. You deserve some sincerity and quality time with a man. There is nothing wrong with a forever boyfriend. I will never re marry either. Too much at stake. Even if he was ideal for many years I’d worry the hood would come off/go on after the I do’s.
Keep us posted. As far as Jim goes……he was a gigantic red flag. Uughhhh!!!
I am going to be the biggest downer – I think his medals around his neck and his assumption that you can travel light to Rome – regardless of your previous conversations about Peru, are too bold for me – but I am not on the path to dating so I am owning my bias:-) Meg
Tonight Mike and I had a long telephone conversation. He does seem really nice. He is well educated, has had a very successful teaching and coaching career and he has two very successful grown children.
He’s been married twice and divorced for nine years. Both of his wives were Bi Polar, his first wife died, and he is divorced from the second. He said it was a friendly divorce, she is also a professor and also lives in Tallahassee. He owns his own home and has a big black lab.
He lives in Tallahassee about an hour and forty five minutes away.
We are planning on talking tomorrow and Friday on the phone and will go out to dinner on Saturday.
I will keep you all informed. ~ JoAnn
Meg, I love you–you keep your cynicism on. I don’t want to miss any red flags. The more eyes and ears the better.
Forgive me JoAnn but given the questions we get asked… What made him pick two wives with bipolar… Just sayin
I know you know this, JoAnn, but be cautious about his explanations about his past. Two BiPolar wives? An amicable divorce? I know I am VERY mistrustful when it comes to me. I just know that my X is out their repackaging our past–and what led to our divorce–in a way that makes him look just fine. Just be careful.
You guys are preaching to the choir, but I honestly do need and appreciate you all caring so much and taking care of me.
It feels nice to be on the other end. ~ JoAnn
How did she die? I kind of want to put a smiley face after that but I also mean it. Nothing suspicious I hope.
We changed our dinner date to last night. It went very well, he is such a sweet and open and nice person. I think he’s already madly in love with me. He has barely dated since his divorce nine years ago, he was only on match.com for a month because they sent him some sort of deal where he got a month free.
He had winked at me almost every day since I put my profile up, but I didn’t know it until I signed up and paid. He’s the only guy I have corresponded with so far.
I wore white linen pants and a new pink and white watercolor type short sleeve blouse. He talked about his family and where he grew up and showed me photos of his kids and grand kids. He is just a super nice guy. But, I think it will take me a lot longer to decide if I want to get attached to anyone just yet. He does have a bad back (he broke it when he was in the Marines), so he does have a bit of trouble walking. Other than that he is very healthy and fit (from all that swimming he does).
He asked if he could kiss me, and I said, ‘just a little one’ and he just gave me a nice little kiss. It felt funny to me, I haven’t been kissed nicely in a very long time and I’m not sure I will know what to do with it. But, he’s not pushy at all, so that will work itself out.
I have no doubt that he really is what he says he is. It is almost disorienting to be with someone who is not deceptive, who doesn’t watch their words or has to think about what they say.
I asked him to come over for dinner next week. ~ JoAnn
I asked him what made him choose my profile out of all the many women on match. He said, ‘Well, I could tell you that it was because you sounded intelligent and you were educated and wrote a great profile, but that would be bullshit. I just liked the way you look.’
That made me laugh and it was just bald faced honest (and I liked hearing that he liked the way I look). ~ JoAnn
I’m just curious, JoAnn, what did you tell him about Larry?
So far is sounds like a very harmless and sweet friendship. I sure hope it is all of what you want it to be.
Much love, Claire
Sounds like a great start 🙂
I love the honesty, which does seem to be real since it is so spontaneous…..
Looking forward to hearing about your next date…..
I put in my profile that I was legally and permanently separated and that I would stay that way.
I answered everything that he asked with complete honesty. I told him that I was in an abusive relationship and that we had both tried for years to make it work, and that it just couldn’t.
I briefly mentioned Larry’s depression, Personality Disorders, ADHD and compulsive and impulsive bad behaviors. He did not ask for details.
I did not go into details about his Sex Addiction, but if he asks I will tell him.
He wanted to know if Larry wanted to get back together with me and I said I thought he probably did, but that there was absolutely no chance that I would ever go back with him.
He seemed satisfied with that, I think that was a very valid concern on his part as he did not want to start a relationship if there was any chance that I would go back to Larry. ~ JoAnn
I don’t want to be a wetblanket, but it seems like he is laying it on pretty thick which is a huge red flag for me. Even his opening line in that email about how you are a good reason or whatever.And the asking to travel with him before you meet? His email reminds me of dr. evil’s emails to his prostitute friends SO much.
You would think someone who has allegedly been married to 2 crazy people (another red flag) would be more cautious. And that welcome back to match.com offer so he joined comment was weird, too.
So that’s my take on it.
He does sound way better than the other one you posted.
And you are a big girl, JoAnn- trust your gut.But good lord, if that is what a good one looks like nowadays, I will never date again, I am certain. 🙂
I don’t see how any guy can come out of the gate seemingly “normal”. They are just human, won’t be perfect, and we aren’t exactly “normal” either.
IMO, the only way to tell is to stick around for a little bit and truly watch/listen to our gut reactions. If we feel (for whatever reason) that something is “off” then we need to get away fast.
I didn’t see a lot of red flags on this guy. I saw an athlete. They are very competitive and come off as confident and maybe arrogant. He seems the type to go after what he wants and know he has the ability to make it work. It’s okay not to like that about a person but I don’t think he is a pervert.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.