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I threw mine out, too. Left a suitcase on the front porch and told him not to come in then called a friend to come stay with me, so he would be less likely to come in and make a scene.
I highly recommend getting some space.
He is a sex addict and an asshole. He watched porn for twenty years and did not explain the severity of his addiction before we got married. He went to a rehab group for a while and we went to some counseling, but I am too enraged to even bother with any of it anymore.
The rage is one of those things that comes and goes. It’s normal and it’s part of the grieving but it’s no fun. Get it out as best you can. You can vent here, get a punching bag- whatever works for you. I had some stainless steel bowls that doc e gave me for Xmas 3 months after I kicked him out (I got a pair of socks last year). I sledgehammered those a few times when I was good and mad.
I’m still in the middle of divorce (over 2 years so far) so I don’t know about trusting a man again. I trust myself and I trust my friends, so I am capable of trust. I’m not really interested in a romantic relationship at this point, I have to say. I still have to deal with my old one way too much. He’s more controlling now than when we were married. I don’t know what will happen with my interest in men once I finally get away from doc e.
The rage is normal and healthy ( just don’t actually physically harm anyone…..yet. :). )
I have broken things, thrown stuff, written cuss words in his Bible, threatened to drive his truth into our backyard pool ( he used it to pick up chicks for blow jobs), burned my wedding album page by page in the outside fire pit, thrown away our wedding flutes that we used for toasting, threw away the cake knife and server from our wedding, taken down every picture of him in my home, and threw him out of my bedroom…
I’m probably leaving some things out but the point is the rage is perfectly normal. Find something that works for you that is not illegal ….
Hang in there, I promise it subsides and you eventually realize he is NOT worth it.
Now, go find something to destroy …. You’ll feel better 🙂
I also threw his truck keys in the pool and he spent days looking for them …
The pool guys fished them out and I put them back in his office and he never knew how he missed finding them 🙂
I just wanted to say that I don’t really blame the ugly hookers (and the pretty ones….on the outside only) but I don’t like them either. If they weren’t around, it would be harder for these guys to go “girl shopping” and pick the ones they decide suits their fuck needs for the day.
However, they would find a way with strangers….some SAs don’t fuck hookers, too cheap, or they like the hunt of trying with a woman who may be an actual chase. My husband told me, he fucked hookers, because it was fast and easy. Plus, he didn’t give two shits for any of them, so there would be no fatal attraction shit with a whack job. Just a business arrangement. Vomit.The rage is soooooo normal. I can have bouts of rage that just rises up from deep within and everyone better get out of my way. I also can fall into deep depression, and not get out of bed for the entire day. I also can have moments, now (took over 6 months) of just peace…..where my brain gives me a little break, and I am just fine….don’t really give a crap about much.
Basically after finding out in April…..my emotions all over the place like a mental patient. My therapist said that will sadly last for a while still. But she is working with me to get me unstuck, and wants me to live for me.
I am working on it. Its shock…..and as much as I hate him for what he has done to me, I still love him. I know, I know….I am still fucked up too.One day at a time…..
P.S. I have broken two computer monitors, a blackberry, and smashed a playbook, and an ipad. all with hammers. Also shortly after discovery, I got quite drunk, and punched him in the face and beat on him for a while. Felt fucking awesome. 🙂
Ok so this is what I did if it helps at all. I made a list of the things I would not tollerate from my H any longer. The list was crazy unreasonable but he said he’d do anything so I put him to the test. I listed almost all of his family and said They are never welcome in mine or our sons life again but if he’d like to see them fine but where when and who would all have to be pre-approved by me (He confided to his dad and brother about cheating with girls) . Everyone of his single friends and even some married ones are out of his life, I listed them , its all of them. No more internet ever except for on his phone and I monitor data usage daily. No more phone calls except for work and me, again I monitor that. No more boys nights out for maybe years. He had to agree to be added on a family app that show where he is at all times. He agreed to it all, I thought forsure he would argue some of it and then I could cut him loose. He didnt and its been 7 mmonths wih as far as I can tell no breaking my rules. This wasnt even about the rules as much as I needed to know if this was even worht 1 more second of my time.. he fuccked up not me. I make the terms and hes either I or out, there is no second chances. If I find out hes called his brother it over..any wavering hes gone. This isnt just about the cheating this is sbout being honest and white lies count just as much as fucking somone at this point..so ya if he wanted to open or continue working at a bar.. out.. showed up on face book. Out…this is not a negoitation it is my way or the highway.. if he can’t even agree to what will keep me sane even in the short term then the rage will take over..ya would have to quit working or going to the bar even if it his. Ya No parties without meso no facebook pic would surface to throw me into anoher rage. It was so hard for me but I said you sint have to any of this stuff on the list and that is ok and your choice but if you don’t we are done.
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