Last minute advice needed

Karen, I don’t mind the “hurtful” things, because you’re spot on. I know he doesn’t give a shit about my family or me.

SL, I know a few perfectly great women named Patty! And the “CowPatty” name for her isn’t about weight, but about cow dung being called a cow patty (or cowpat or cow chip), at least here in Texas. Some of y’all might not be familiar with that. But I’ll continue to call you SL. 🙂

Here’s my novel of an update.

After I found out about the flight, my thinking was that he would visit his mom prior to going to Phoenix. I’d call him after he got to Corpus Christi, and tell him, “I know what you’re doing, and DO NOT come home.” And then I’d have the locks changed.

The best laid plans . . . things turned out differently. He announced on Thursday or Friday evening after work that he’d be working this week after all. As in Monday through Friday. Which means the plan is no doubt to drive to Corpus Christi early Saturday morning, and fly out that afternoon. So then I started thinking . . . could I actually wait until he left? I didn’t think I was capable of doing that. But I figured I could wait a few days. And I wanted to record our conversation if possible.

He even said that they might work next week, but he quickly (and suspiciously) retracted that, saying he doesn’t think they will. He’d have to cancel his trip, right? Or turn down the work. Which is exactly what he’ll do, in order to visit his “friend.” He’d have a hard time explaining turning down work just to go to Corpus.

I’d posted about my dad on Facebook the previous Sunday (when we visited my parents) and my evil MIL had posted, “I’ll call Emily.” I gave my mom the heads up that day, because she did NOT want to talk to Mommie Dearest. When there was no call after a couple of days, we were breathing a sigh of relief. But on Friday, the call came. My mom was extremely uncomfortable, because she knew that MD had called me “crazy” and a “bitch” and told SexAssHole that “Janet deserves everything she gets.” This was in e-mails that I hadn’t confronted him about at that point. The phone call was brief.

That night, I told Mom about the flight, and she was livid. Especially at MD’s lying to her and saying, “Jackie is going to come down here and help me after my hand surgery.” To think I told this woman a few months ago that the way he turned out wasn’t her fault. She’s as much of a liar as he is.

Over the weekend, SAH fixed my car. Of course, it took longer than he expected, so we didn’t do much together. We did, however, have our usual Sunday breakfast out. I found it, uh, interesting that he didn’t say the words “divorce, mediation, or terms,” during this whole time. Of course not. How does he have time to work on a divorce (which he’s been SO anxious to finalize) when he’s working this week and spending next week in Arizona?

On Monday he e-mailed EvilPam out of the blue, after nearly two weeks (granted, he *had* been busy):

*******

Hi Pam,

I’m just catching you up. Well, my 61 day waiting period passed and Janet had not responded to the divorce papers (called “the answer”) so I was set to file for a default divorce when I had a day to go to the courthouse to file. Lo and behold if Janet didn’t make it to the courthouse on the last day to file (Nov 1) to “contest” the divorce. Argh!

What this means is that we’re at a stalemate until we both can agree as to what it is that we want. It’s simple, I just want to get my small share of what I need out of the house equity. I’m willing to take way less than 50% and she can have all the material goods in the house. But no, Janet want’s 100% of the house, spousal support, and for me to continue to pay for the house. Seriously. No judge would allow that in a community property state, so she’s clearly grasping at straws. It’s ridiculous how she’s willing to hang onto to me with any way she can although, clearly, I don’t love her and she knows that. Why would anyone be willing to accept that? She’s not in her right mind.

Jerry is not doing well, but he’s hanging in there. I know Janet is worried. Emily knows the reality that he won’t last long and has accepted that. I check in with Emily every once in a while out of respect and she appreciates that.

That’s it for now. I’m flying out the door to go to work. Yes, work. Did I mention that I’m working on a movie that’ll go until the end of January? Boy, this comes at the right time. The money is much needed. It’s Sin City 2 It’s not a great movie, but work is work.

Hope you’re well and much love,
Jack

*******

Needless to say, this is full of inaccuracies and downright lies. I had until the 5th to respond and he knew that. Also, I did NOT ask him for the house AND for him to pay for it. If I got the house, I’d take care of the rest of the mortgage (it’s just a little over five years from being paid off.) I mentioned to him at one point that he could *possibly* get ordered to pay spousal support. He doesn’t know I saw an attorney, but she thinks it’s a possibility because of his underemployment (i.e. refusal to work) in the past year. He makes very good money when he’s working, so right now that would be in my favor as well, as I could be awarded a percentage.

Saying he wants “equity” is basically saying, sell the house. And he keeps insisting he isn’t trying to force me out.

I’m not trying to hang on to him. I just want as much as I can get out of the deal, and deserve.

Oh, and my mom does NOT appreciate him calling, and it certainly isn’t out of respect. If he had an ounce of respect for my parents he wouldn’t be pulling any of this shit.

My main thing is that regardless of whatever agreement we come to, I want it in writing that he can NOT force me to sell the house, even if he gets partial ownership. I live here, and I sell it if and when I’m good and ready. At that point he’d get his share. (Right now I’m in no condition physically, emotionally, or otherwise to clean out the house and put it on the market, much less move off to God knows where by myself.) In the meantime, he’d have to pay his part of the mortgage, proportional to his ownership. If he defaults in any way . . . then I should get the house. Is that being unreasonable, all things considered? He’s the one who wrecked the marriage, who has made my life hell, who is STILL hurting me, and who claims he doesn’t care about “a house and things and money” and just wants to “simplify his life.” What lip service.

EvilPam’s response:

*******

Oh Jack,

I cannot think of a worse thing for her to pull….She changed her FB picture and she is not the Janet I once knew. At all… No, I haven’t deleted her yet. I guess I am waiting for her to unfriend me since I am such a horrible person…

No, she isn’t in her right mind, so what if you can’t agree on the terms?! No way could you ever agree to hers…. How do you get out? Just shows what a selfish person she is. She knows good and well what she is doing.

Keep me posted please. And I feel for you for having to go home to the same house at this point. Are you still in the same room? Must be very uncomfortable.

Love

Pam

*******

He responded to her, but I won’t bother with that now.

For the second time, she didn’t even show any concern for my dad, and she’s known my parents since we were in high school.

And what the hell is wrong with my Facebook picture? I put up the same one I use here.

All of this made me want to tell off her and CowPatty more than ever, but not that day, as she and SAH might get suspicious about me seeing the e-mail. For the same reason, I didn’t disconnect her on Facebook.

I went to Therapy Works that night (the PULSE group hasn’t officially started, but more about that later), and we hadn’t met in three weeks. I had a lot to catch up on with the counselors. I told them about my intention to send the e-mails before confronting SAH about the trip. They were worried about libel, but this is a private matter. Then they mentioned defamation of character, although they weren’t sure about the legality.

Well, almost everything I say will be backed up with Jack’s/EvilPam’s own words, or in the case of the porn, graphic evidence. He’s been defaming me for over a year based on only his word, which is pretty much worthless! And I have the proof to back that up, in spades.

I’d planned to draft the e-mails on Monday when I had a holiday, but it was yet another unproductive day. I made it through a full day at work yesterday, but I had the ugly tape looping through my head and it was eating me up. I barely made it, only by the grace of God and Xanax.

After work both Monday and last night, SAH stopped at Target and bought some clothes, including some slim fit jeans for his skinny ass. I knew this was for CP, and it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night despite Vicodin (for my chronic leg pain) and melatonin. I woke up at 3:30, and though I hated to look at the clock, I was relieved that I had a couple more hours to sleep. I took two more melatonin.

A little after 4:00 I was still awake. I turned on the light and said, “I can’t sleep.” (Yes, we’re still in the same room, because I refused a few months ago to let him turn one of our spare rooms into Jack’s Perverted Palace of Porn and Patty. I said if he was going to be looking at porn and texting or Skyping with that bitch in the next room, then he might as well move out of the house.) I confronted him about Phoenix . . . and then things got, predictably, very ugly. I’d wanted to keep calm but I couldn’t. He just enraged me so much.

I told him I couldn’t believe that he, MD, and CP could be so STUPID, and so CRUEL, as to orchestrate this trip while we’re still married, and while my dad is so sick, and think that he could pull it off without me finding out. He can’t wait until he’s divorced to take his “vacation” to visit “his friend?” I told him to tell that to the judge — no one will buy that he isn’t committing adultery out there. He says he “doesn’t care what people want to believe.” His excuse is that this is his only window of opportunity. Whatever. Again, tell that to the judge. WHO DOES THIS? A stupid SAH, of course. Yet he always accuses me of not thinking rationally.

I said that if he goes, he is NOT to come back to our home when he comes back to town. He said that’s fine by him. I don’t think he has any clue how lucky he is that I didn’t kick his sorry ass to the curb a long time ago.

I really don’t know where he thinks he’s going to stay if he spends next weekend with MD after he gets back to Corpus on Friday, when he has to report for work in Austin that Monday. Not my problem, I know, but this is going to be rough.

Is it just me, or did he break #10 below by purchasing the plane ticket?

http://www.evansfamilylawgroup.com/travis-county-standing-order/

I’m thinking of Teri’s AH buying a diamond ring for his whore.

Well, needless to say, I stayed home from work today. Talked to my mom, took a couple of Xanax, went back to bed for a couple of hours. Talked to my mom some more. It’s been a slow-motion, numb sort of day.

SAH has called me three times to check on me, and the last time (a few minutes ago), he was talking about buying groceries. I said, “I wish you could be this nice all the time.” He said, “I’m sorry for hurting you.” Yeah, I’ve heard THAT before. The last time he told me he didn’t want to hurt me anymore, I caught him writing a fucking love song for CowPatty two days later. It was just a few lines of chicken scratch on a note pad, but you’d think my busting him would have nipped it in the bud. But noooo . . . I found the entire thing on his computer a few weeks after that. The chorus repeats the line, “And I swear that woman was so good to me.” Gag me. I highly doubt she knows about it. “Just a friend” . . . yet he was compelled to write it. Hey, he’s a songwriter now. Yay!

So I told him just now, “And yet you keep on hurting me — and your going on this trip is hurting me more than anything.” If he cancels, it’ll be for the same reason as before — to protect CowPatty, not out of any concern for my healing or well-being.

My counselors seem to think, though, that just his intention in going — especially considering the circumstances — could help my case as much as if he actually goes. If he had half a brain he’d blow off the trip and spend his few days off next week looking for an attorney and/or another place to live. As much as I’m not detached, I don’t really want him here now, even for just attempting to pull this hideous stunt.

Karen, I’m sorry if I let you down!

Y’all make valid points, I know. I figured it was our last breakfast out. One way or another, he won’t be here long. I was serious about not allowing him to come back here after his trip (whichever bitch he visits.) He said he’d come here with his trailer and get his stuff. Huh? He doesn’t have one. Where’s he going to haul a trailer’s worth of crap off to anyway? Realistically, I think he’s facing a few nights in a roach motel.

Bev, I know there’s no hope for the marriage. He may have regrets one day, but it’ll be too late. He’ll die a lonely old man, or end up with some tramp like his daddy.

I refuse to become a bitter old woman like his mother! I know better times are ahead. Like I said, it’s just getting through the muck on the way.

My family has problems, but they’re good people, and I’m so thankful for them.

You ladies are welcome here anytime to help me whoop some ass!