- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
So I just got a bill in the mail for close to $5000. I have already paid $2000. I also still have to pay for a homebirth- and my son’s father hasn’t paid a dime. Counseling is costing $100 a week and yet all I have gotten from my son’s father is $800.
I have an abuser not paying a normal decent amount. I have him wanting custody of our son and I am just worn out.
I am so unhappy and yet I love my son. This is torturous. I had no idea this would all happen. I had no idea my son’s father was going to do this to us. I was not married. I thought since he was abusive and we were not married that this wouldn’t have happened. I also thought he wouldn’t want to be involved after he kicked me out. Why would he want to be involved?
I fear it’s to abuse me. To control me and basically torture me. I think it’s to prove he can win and get what “he wants”.
I am so afraid for my son and I. How the hell is it legal to have a baby go into a house where three polyamourous adults live and who have significant others come in and out?
How is it legal that I was raped and have to share custody and coparent with an abuser?I am just in such a state of not being able to accept the truth. I keep blaming myself. If I hadn’t turned to alcohol and drugs while in an abusive situation this wouldn’t have happened. If I would have left this wouldn’t have happened.
I am even having thoughts that I shouldn’t have even had my son which is making me feel guilty and awful. The truth is is that I love my little baby boy but we are not safe. We are doomed in a sense and it’s just too much to bear anymore.
I am a good woman and had different sufferings in my life and unfortunately was with an abusive man- I wish I could go back in time and change it all.Now I am tied to a sex addict/ offender/abuser for the rest of my life and will not have a moments peace knowing my son and I are not safe.
I don’t think there is any counselor in the world who can help me. Any word of comfort. I am feeling beyond hopeless.
I like it’s my fault and I just can’t believe what has happened.
We are broke poor and I just need to focus on healing and mothering and instead I have to pay a lawyer, start having custody evaluators come to my house and psych evals- most likely. I guess I want know for sure until Nov 25 when I have court- but this is what my lawyer is telling me.
I do know I will have a home evaluator come.I just was never prepared for this. I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would turn out to be such a mess.
My poor son.We are trapped.
Alice, yes this is a bad situation. But you are not married to the sob. And sharing your son with him is going to be really really hard. But, time passes, children get older and have opinions the Court will take seriously. Try not to throw yourself to far ahead. Deal with today, and no more. Your son needs you. I know it is hard to believe, but things won’t be this hard forever. You will find ways to deal with it. POS may lose interest, and be less in your life than you think. I feel for you Alice. This is one of the toughest things to deal with in life. But try not to despair. You can have parenting that does not include you having contact with your abuser. You are doing that now. When your son gets older, It will get easier. Just try to deal with the now. Trying to fathom the future will really ramp up your stress. You can’t control what is going to happen. Only what is happening now. You are in the maw of the family court system, and all you can do is listen to your attorney and if you feel she is not representing you well, get another one. I will pray for you dear Alice. Hang in there. Even if it’s by your fingernails. Hang on. You will survive. You have a wonderful son who needs you.
xxxooo
MoniqueYou are in a very difficult situation, Alice. No point denying it. I will pray for you and your baby and that you will gain strength. Your x is a true predator. If he smells blood he is going to close in for the kill. You have to shore yourself up so you can fight back. If you let him make you crazy and intimidated …he wins Alice.
Alice, I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been through it understands the hell of having to let your child go with someone you know is not safe for them. It goes against every motherly instinct you have. I am sorry. Just know that you are not alone. Others have gone before you and will come after. They will understand. That’s what I tell myself- if they did it, I can do it. It’s like my little mantra I use to calm myself. It makes me feel connected to all the women who have had to endure this kind of thing. That’s all I got.
Actually that does help some Terri. Knowing there are other women who care and who have suffered too and children. I just never thought I would be one of them or my son. You never think these things will happen in your own life.
I’m still trying to accept. The legal system is so scary- it not only doesn’t protect us or our children but it makes things worse.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.