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Alright ladies so we all married master dick beaters… Some of the things…ahem I mean woman… My SAH used to whack it to was shocking and quite frankly if I shared it with someone normal they probably wouldn’t believe me. I say we have a good laugh at their expense.. They are so f’ing stupid ..and pathetic… So to what extreme that you know of did your king whack-a-do beat it too..
Mine actually paid the Discover bill at Sears and whacked off that night in the shower to the cashier at Sears.
Then there was the bank teller that he saw one day while making a deposit.
And the girl on the T Mobile billboard.
Now that’s creative!!! He is such an asshole.
I think mine liked women at the bus stop. He did it in the car, from afar.
oh, that rhymes. It’s poetic– a courtly love kind of thing—you know–big bus, fumes, tired woman, work clothes, holding coffee and a bus pass. You can understand the excitement.
Mine paid money to have the phone sex gals tell him what a piece of shit he was and how pathetic he was etc ( not the usual ‘sexy’ talk like ” oh, you’ve been a bad boy..” ). Not that it’s any less creepy just more weird?
He wrote in his “workbook” ( that I found and copied). That he always wondered what “new girls” would be online and that they had the sexiest voices and great imaginations …
I counted up,thousands of dollars spent on this stupid shit and we all know that these phone chat girls are probably not what sexual fantasies are made of…… Of course they were sitting in their sweat pants watching soap operas and eating Cheetos ….. Hell, I could be a phone sex girl 🙂
Great idea Bev. “Earn money working from home!” Although…it may be tough to explain the phone calls to your kids. 🙂
I have NO idea what mine whacked off to. I do know that he kept a detailed Excel sheet (I can’t bring myself to use the term “spread sheet” anymore) of porn stars, their birthdays, hometowns, measurements, whether they did men, women, anal, etc. and what web sites they were on. I find that EXTREMELY weird. This thing ran into the thousands of lines although there were lots of deletions and additions. Maybe like collecting Pokémon cards? Or Porker-man cards? 🙂
I just know mine wacker off in the shower and rubbed his penis with one hand and his nipple with the other (sorry).
I think he wacked off to the prostitute he had sex with the day before. Playing the experience over in his mind like a movie.
To be truthful, I really never knew what he was thinking about. All I know is he was cheating on me left and right, sideways and backwards.
Now I’m free and I’m really happy to just be me. Me and my vacuum.
🙂
Maybe I could just work during the school day hours? Like a teacher…… Dealing with snot nosed, immature, entitled brats…. I can do that in my sleep 🙂
God these guys are so weird….. It’s mind boggling. I would figure that teenage boys ( young teenage boys) might be tempted to call a phone sex line but grown men???? It’s too stupid to discuss. I feel IQ points slipping away and lord knows I can’t afford to kill any more brain cells 🙂
The Excel/spread sheet is also something that is just too bizarre for words. I guess it’s the modern day version of the “little black book”??? It’s another instance of such insanity. I get that a man might think he was “super hunk” or something if he had all these sexual conquests etc … BUT, the dumbshit was paying these women!!! How embarrassing can you get? And how delulusional do you have to be to think that paying strippers makes you sexy !?
Serious issues ….
I just keep going back to the fact he joined a Yahoo strap-on group. And he makes fun of me for being on Facebook.
Oh, he did confess that at one point he was into lactating women. Must have something to do with his “adoption issues.”
Oh I forgot to mention the binder of downloaded and printed porn pictures he used to carry in his briefcase. A one and a half inch binder full – to work every day. Never understood that one either. Seemed awfully risky to carry that around in his car and leave it in his office all day. And he had dice in a pocket of his brief case too. Maybe he was playing dungeons and dragons with the strippers? IDK. Like Bev I try not to waste precious brain cells trying to figure this shit out. I am long past smoking the hopium but if I ever did take up the pipe again, all I’d have to do is remember this stuff – it sobers me right up. 🙂
Well, You all know besides the porn, mine was into nursing home patients (seriously? Ugh).
He was also into the family dog…I don’t know where to go with that one.
I almost forgot about this one. Before dday, while being intimate w my H , he pulled my hair really hard. After dday, I found out one of the nurses he was screwing liked to have her hair pulled during sex………WTF?
One of my husband’s affair partners, as they are called (way too dignified in my opinion) was pregnant during the affair. He admitted to me at one point after d-day that he really got into the lactation, too. I think I knew in my heart at that moment that I couldn’t ever love him again in a way that meant anything.
My husband was into the family dog, too. I used to be so jealous of all the time he spent with our dog and how his face lit up and he was so affectionate.Okay,
re: the family dog thing.
how far “into” the family dog was he?
are you two sisters dealing with bestiality?Ha! No, but a reasonable question to ask. He adored and doted on our dog in a way that I wished he would do with me, but no sexual overtones with the dog. If I thought there was any chance of bestiality, I would take my daughter and run.
OK, Dr ahole was into beastiality. His mother had videos and books on it. She grew up on a farm….. Dr ahole was afraid I’d ask the question on a poly, so he confessed right before the poly that he acted out with the family dog. He let the dog lick his balls while he wacked off…sorry to be so graphic. I guess that means he was into beastiality. God knows what his mother did with animals. Its disgusting, but now I can laugh about it….
Mine was obsessed with butt fucking so he was always whacking off imaging he was butt fucking them while standing in the shower and they were telling him how wonderful he was lol now that’s a fantasy !!! And for the record I had no idea about his butt fuck obsession. My SAH never had actual sex with anyone but doesn’t mean he didn’t want to..
Mine collected porn of naked women being literally ripped apart with cables connected to their genitalia, in front groups of clothed men, either in an open forum like an old operating room with seating all around, or in Dungeons and Dragons type settings where starving, filthy naked women were racked, burned, whipped, raped and torn to shreds. Or stuck through their breasts and genitals with various things from hugs needles to swords. Breast mutilation was obviously a must. The men in these did NOT have sex with the women, it was ALL about the torture. No penis activity. He saved that for real encounters with the whores.
Interspersed with the most predictable photos of 6 foot tall blondes with hair past their waists, DDD or more, and probably weighed 90 lbs WITH the plastic boobs. I mean dozens of drives of the stuff. Here I am, 5’2″ on a good day, shoulder length chestnut hair and extra lbs. I asked him “why the hell did you marry me when you obviously cannot get over the Barbie doll fetish? His response “Those are for fantasy, I never expected to actually have a woman that beautiful.” Uh, thanks hun.
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