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Not sure if I’m posting a new topic correctly. . .
Some of us have been drenched in the dark pain of SA and its effects for awhile. I need to pull out of the darkness. I actually have, more and more. Now, I want to focus on healing. Life and Light. This week as my son prepared for a Medieval Banquet that’s part of his school’s living history project, we searched out my family crest and discovered my family’s motto from the 1600s was Life and Light. Timely. I need to start living it. For me and my kids. SO . . . tonight I wanted to create a place on SOS where those of us who need a break from SA but need connection and support can focus not on SA but on OUR day-to-day. What is everyone pursuing? What are the challenges? For me, a current goal is to start running again (really a jog), to run in some level of race. I bought the shoes. Ran once. Need to make it a priority. I would love to run in the Nike Women’s Half Marathon in San Francisco next fall. Challenge? I am just so tired of working hard from 5:30 in the morning until late at night. This weekend it all just got to me. My cat was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. My wonderful vet asked, when he called to tell me, ”Is there any stress in the home recently?” Hm. I stopped giving examples once I hit four.
Also, I just get tired of working all the time. I’m sure we all do! But life here at home with me and my two kids and our cat and dog is better than a few years ago. More stability. Still stressful, but not as bad as it was.
Anyway, I just wanted a place that was semi-SA-free. A place for us and our lives. For those of us who need that. For all of the women who have just been hit with SA, I remember needing to learn as much as I could, read as much as I could about other women living with that in their lives, to try to make sense of it. We are all at different places along the path. This is for those who need a break from the constant thought of SA and its devastating effects.
What’s going on in your life today, good or bad? Where are you finding light?
I like this post sunny. and I love your screen name.
my light this week — my daughter’s basketball team won the sectional finals saturday and they are going to state this friday!
her last game they were behind the whole game, caught up in the 4th quarter, they were down by 2 points with 2 seconds to go and my daughter got the rebound and put it up – tied the game! and got fouled, so she shoots and misses her free throw!! But they won in over time! I have never had so many strangers high five and hug me!
This week is not going to be about him! No long boring pointless talks, period!Congratulations on your daughter’s game! She will remember it forever! I still remember when my son was seven and took the soccer ball all the way down the field on his own and made a goal to win the game. We still talk about it and he is 13!
Sunny was the nickname my grandfather gave me when I was a baby. At first it bothered me that he didn’t call me Sandy, my name. Then I grew to love it. When I signed up here, I was not ready to use my real name. Sunny fit. Hm. Seems Light is a common theme. Light overcomes darkness . . . I certainly need that!
Heidi, congrats to your daughter! Yay! How fun!! She is such a precious girl, too!!! Beautiful like her Mama!! 🙂
Sunny, I have always loved your name as well and always love anything you post!! (whether infrequent or often!) I, also, think this is a great post! It’s funny, why is our natural instinct to always talk about our kids when asked to talk about something positive? Ha! (my “kid” is 23) But, nonetheless, he just returned from Spring Break in New York City and had a fabulous time! 🙂
As for me, my birthday is coming up in a little over a week and my boyfriend asked me if I would like to go to Savannah, Georgia to celebrate! Yay! I am so excited! I have never been, but heard it was a wonderful place to visit so I can’t wait!! XO!sl you just keep bouncing all over the place! Going to state for bball means we are not in Indianapolis this weekend for volleyball, so you are allowed to leave the city now if you want to! We will catch up another time!
sunny – I was thinking the same thing about your name and life and light!
Hi Sunny,
I love your forum! My highlight was last Saturday. It was my youngest daughters birthday ( shes 19 ). We spent the whole day together and really had fun. It ended with going to her favorite restaurant. About 2 hrs later she sent me a text “Thank you momma for making my birthday so special”. Made me cry happy tears.Then my oldest daughter ( she’s 22 ) is in Vet School went to Purdue for a special program for spring break. And guess who was there? Temple Grandin! She is one of my most favorite people I admire and my daughter got to meet her, hear her lecture, and got me an autographed book she wrote that says to Nap. (actually my real name).
Thanks Sunny!
Love, Nap
Ha! Nap! Your post made it sound like “Nap” is your real name, when I know for a fact that it’s not!! 🙂
(Even though I know you were saying that the autograph REALLY said “to [insert real name]”)
Ha! Good for you and how exciting!! I love your other daughters text! Sometimes my son will still throw in a “momma” and I just love it too!!! 🙂Thanks SL! There is just something special about being called ‘momma’.
Love ya lots, Nap (not my real name)
Sunny, LOVE this forum! It’s off to a great start, too! Love your story about the family crest and your goal to start running. (I’ve heard the SF Women’s Half is an awesome race, btw.) Heidi, Congratulations on your daughter’s brilliant bball gamei! OMG, they’re going to State, you are gonna freakin’ die from excitement! Will be rootin’ for them! And Silver, well what can I say? Girl’s got it going on! And your 39th birthday’s coming up, too? I know you’ll rock it. And “NAP”, what a sweet story about your girls. I LOVE Temple Grandin, too. (Google her Sisters!). Thanks so much for starting this forum Sunny! Oh, I guess I should write something about me 😉 I’m working on getting in fierce shape – as in I’ll soon be taking names and kicking ass. I have assembled a gym beyond comparison (heavy bag, speed bag, pull-up bar, Bowflex machine, TRX training system, BOB – the punching bag man, not Battery Operated Boyfriend before you all give me that look 😉 ) Remember Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2? That’ll be me. So far, I can only do 1 pull-up, but I can now actually do 25 pushups without stopping. And that’s ‘boy’ pushups, girls! Oh yeah, Sisters, it’s all about taking back my power! One pushup at a time!
Great thread Sunny and gave me pause for thought. I am not really sure what I am doing these days. I am currently in London, in a hotel beside Hyde Park. I came here to get away from home for awhile and to clear my head after losing both parents in such a short time. I love London…always have…but I am NOT on the whirlwind of theatre, museums, ect as I have done in the past. It seems if I can make it to the park for a stroll, I am doing well. I was there today and it is such a portrait of life with it’s dog walkers, runners, cyclists, soccer players, baby pushers and all those lolling under those ancient trees taking in the early days of spring. I like to sit there and watch the world go by. It is a cacaphony of people chattering in so many different languages. I always wonder what dreams and hopes drive so many to descend on this city. I also wonder what private heartaches they carry as they scurry by. Hyde park is one big melting pot of humanity on a warm day and I cannot help but think we are all part of some grand life plan. I, of course, have no idea what the grand plan is. 😉 Karen x
Karen, I love your observations about Hyde Park. I have often wondered about people’s stories as they walked by. London sounds like a perfect place to find some time for yourself during this sad time. I usually head to the beach, which is where I feel closer to God. But being in a place where so many people are all about you sounds just right. I hope you are finding peace and healing.
The last two days have been consumed with my 13 year old son’s homework struggle, made far harder because he has a bad cold. I need to get back to work . . . typing his four paragraphs about the Middle Ages. Thankfully my daughter has spent the last few hours folding the mountain of clean laundry that had piled up. Life in Northern California. Dreams of places I could only reach by airplane. . .
I’ve had a pretty good time lately in spite of my H’s BS,
I went prom dress shopping with my oldest daughter and spent the day shopping and doing lunch.
I ripped out and replaced the carpeting in my oldest son’s room. And moved my younger daughter in there, Now all three girls have there own room,
I found out my second oldest son is to become a father in late October. His girlfriend told me today that if it is a girl, theyare naming her after ne, Awwwwee
I am also shoppinmg for a new kitty cat,
And I’m spending oodles of time cleaning out closets for items to denote to a yard sale beneftting the colrman 3 day.
I love this post too and everyone’s fun things going on! How refreshing! Karen- been thinkin of you! Hope you are truly enjoying yourself!!
Kim- OMG! You are my hero! You accomplish so much in a days time!! Will you be my life coach??:)
Wow!! Maybe a name sake?? How cool! It just further shows what an awesome Mom you MUST be! Congrats! And prom shopping! Fun! I remember those years! Not as much fun with a boy- but still, great memories!! Enjoy!Thanks for sharing everyone! This is my new fave post!
The last few days we have had ridiculously incredible weather! 80’s in mid March in Indy is so rare!! What a treat!! But, I have also been wondering about July? Will it be 110?? Lol!
Sunny, Thank you so much for starting this. I had to take a several week break from SOS because I just couldn’t stand all the misery and pain. I have enjoyed all the stories shared above. Here in Seattle, I am enjoying my first real spring in many years – crocuses, violets, daffodils and the magnolias about to burst into bloom. Today was the seventh session of my wonderful writing class – there are such good people in the class and our instructor is very special. I got to watch my son perform in his first professional acting role at Seattle Shakespeare; very proud mom! He’s now rehearsing for his second paid gig. I hope we continue to share our stories of light. (I’m a Quaker and we are always talking about the Light!)
Warm greetings to you all.Lauren thank you for sharing your light, it is beautiful and special light, describing the flowers made me think of something, I want to learn more about flowers and share that discoveries with my children (ages 6,5 and 2) then every time we are passing by a beautiful flower we will play the guessing game to what it is.
tell me more about how did you decide to get into the writing class, are you a writer and you just decided to sharpen your skills?
HarmonyHarmony, when my son was 7 or 8, I created his own space in my garden for him on his birthday. I made a teepee out of tall bamboo stakes. Then, I wrapped sisal around it and planted vines. The idea was that the vines would grow up and create green, living walls for the teepee. It actually didn’t didn’t grow perfectly, but he loved watching things grow and climbing up the bamboo and sisal. He’s 13 now and still remembers it. We are in a new house now, new backyard. We are starting to plan where we will plant a garden. Great, great memories! Have fun with your garden! If they like butterflies, yarrow and butterfly bushes (a real plant) are great for attracting butterflies!
Laurenbutterfly,
I needed to move on from the pain. Or at least I’m trying. I look forward to reading about each of you at the end of the day. Nice to have something positive to look forward to! Is your son performing in the Ashland Shakespearean Festival? My daughter went up there on a school trip in seventh grade. And I’m thinking about taking my kids up there to get away from here and experience a great play! A new experience! Something positive.
sunny, thank you for the suggestion great idea for a different project with the kids, i may do it one day.
so are you a writer? what are you doing to bring light and happiness to your life?
I wanted to be a journalist when I was in high school, but then I didn’t go that route. Instead I use writing and have taught writing. First I was a teacher, and now I am a school principal.
Writing, gardening, and painting are all such great ways to shift our focus off of the trauma of SA and onto something that creates something good and new. Each of these is a creation of something that comes out of US. Great for healing. Funny, as I think about all of the challenges I’ve faced, I have always had one of these outlets that I could turn to. Not all at the same time, but at least one. When I was writing in my journal, creating a poem, painting a flower with watercolors, or planning/planting/weeding a garden bed I felt a flow of good energy into something outside of me that CAME from me. I truly think these were ways God kept me sane, ways to protect me. A lot of you have mentioned activities like this. For those of you who have lost all those personal interests as you became increasingly consumed by life with an SA or PD or narcissist, now would be a good time to rediscover something you used to love. Or try something new. For me, gardening seems to be my rediscovery. Today I’m going to a plant sale at a garden club! I recently bought a Kangaroo Paw and Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick (a contorted filbert, I think) for a bermed area in the center of my backyard. Can’t wait to plant them to see how they grow!
Hi Sunny,
Your name really fits you well. You inspired me and I’ve been out working in my flower bed. It’s beautiful outside and I’m really enjoying it. Thanks!!!
Love, NapSunny,
I’m an avid gardener too, well I used to be in my former lives. Last year or two I’m getting back into it and finding the satisfaction I used to know. I’ve already planted some peas and radishes. Now here in Minnesota, we are at least a month or more ahead of normal, so I’m excited to see what happens.I also wanted to tell you that I have a special place in my heart for teachers and principals, and school superintendents. When my girls were growing up I was very involved in volunteering, teaching gifted and talented classes,community education, and eventually running and being voted onto our local school board. I loved the relationships I developed with the school staff and administration. I was always amazed by those people and their dedication to our kid’s education. Here’s a special thanks to you.
Hi everybody,
I too love gardening. I gardened for thirty years in California where pretty much everything grows and then had to forget everything i had learned to garden in Alaska! It was a much bigger challenge as you can imagine. For those of you who asked, I am not a professional writer but my instructor has encouraged me to continue writing about the little town where I lived in Alaska; he thinks that I might get a book out of it. I aim to take his advice. I need to write at least thirteen more essays to do it but I have seven under my belt. Another thing, people who attend writing classes, especially continuing ed classes, tend to be intelligent, thoughtful people, the kind of people I want to meet so it’s also a good social outlet. Attending my Quaker meeting has also been very helpful for me. I love our silent meetings. Hope you all have enjoyed a happy weekend.
LBGardening in Alaska! Challenging yet SO satisfying when things start blooming. Your book sounds interesting. You have a lot to draw on. Let us know when you’re ready to share!
I spent the weekend pulling big stumps with huge root systems and shoveling the half-decomposed bark left by the tree guys who removed two large pine trees last fall. Getting ready to begin planting. Unfortunately, the plants I just bought at a garden club plant sale are toxic. Guess I need to have a plan BEFORE I shop!
Mis-lindy, Thanks for the kind words! I’m very appreciative of our school board. They are very hard working and do it to make a difference for students. Are you still serving on your board. In California right now things are SO challenging economically, our board is having a rough time finding the best way to come up with a budget that retains as many jobs as possible.
Off to help my son study for his “worm test” for science!
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