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Hi all,
If you want to get a first hand, true account, inside the head of a sex addict, how they think, etc. Read this book.I have to tell you the book is excellent, however, half way through the book, out of the blue, it triggered my PTSD. I had a huge anxiety attack, had to take my medication, then call my therapist. My therapist understood my curiosity, however, since I lived with this experience it was not in my best interest to read it. I had to put the book away. She said it would be like people coming back with trauma from war then going to the library and getting a book about war and first hand accounts. I didn’t even think of it that way, but now know at this point in my journey I can’t read it.
I do have to say what I read was very revealing. If you are able to read it without negative affects, I would highly recommend it.
The name of the book is: Love Sick by Sue Williams Silverman, (One Woman’s journey through sexual addition).
Thought I would share this.
NapI,m so sorry that you had such a bad experience, but it is certainly understandable.
Sue Silverman, author of the book ‘Love Sick’, which was also made into a Lifetime movie, was sexually abused by her father as a child.
She has written several books on abuse. I have corresponded with her a couple of times, but just didn’t feel that she had much to ofer us at this time.
You know what, NAP. You are not alone in having anxiety after reading about sex addiction. I had to put away all my books on SA, even the books on building self esteem and confidence as it would just keep me remembering how I got to where I am. I have to take a break from thinking about SA and the terrible pain that it causes. I’ve picked up a couple books about dogs to help me change my thought processes and try to relax a bit.
Hi All – Just catching up on posts. My daschound, Casey, wasn’t MY best friend last week. I was getting ready to leave my son’s house, after house sitting his dog for a week. I was at the top of the stairs getting ready to leave – I had Casey’s leash on. She got excited to leave and wrapped her leash around my foot. I tripped and fell down twelve stairs. I hit my head x2 on the way down and put a hole in the wall. Ended up with numerous skin tears, broken toe, huge hematoma on the side of my head, and bruiseing all over. The good news is I don’t have any fractures, but many micro tears of the muscles in my back. It is really painful, and will be hurting for 6-8 weeks while healing. NOT a fun way to end the week.
Steve came over on the w/e and helped me get around – guess he is good for something!
NAP – I am going to get the book you recommended. It really sounds good. I am at such a different place with Steve- I would say indifference is the best word to describe it, and he is beginnning to disgust me. A real change for me, huh.
His continual lieing and dancing around the truth is getting so old. When he says something like, “It’s has been 2-3 days since I lied,” and tells me he has made a committment to never lie again turns my stomach. It is as if not lieing for TWO whole days is going to bring back any trust, and now everything is alright. I just see more and more lack of insight on his part every day – nothing has changed!
Dr. Drew had a program on sex addiction the other night. I didn’t see it, but my sister said he did not paint a good picture for recovery with these guys, and also pointed out many relapses in the process. He did not give actual percentages, but she said he basically said the SA cannot change. Nothing we didn’t already know!!!
I don’t know what his philosophy is on spouses of an SA. Dr. Weiss and Dr. Carnes do seem to be modifying their opinions on co-dependency.
Hope everyone is doing okay – I have kinda lost track of where everyone is, so am trying to catch up.
Hugs to you all.Hi Sharron,
I want to tell you I hope you are feeling better from your fall. I have known two people who died falling down stairs so I know it must have been scary for you. I’m sending well wishes your way 🙂 I think if you can read the book you would really find it helpful in a backward kinda way. I would love to finish it but my anxiety level is still high today and agree with my therapist-too close too home. Oh well….I think your thinking about Steve is spot on because he really hasn’t changed sounds like…but I don’t really know since I can barely handle my own life 🙂 I like to say what I think obviously….
We just go back to the same old patterns with these men. There may be a honeymoon period then the same old pattern returns for them and us. If its a good pattern, great, if its not good, then not so great. As we well know.
Much love to you Sharron and I have missed you,
napOh Sharron,
I am so sorry that you got hurt. Casey sounds a lot like my older son. lol
I saw this book on MTASA site and it does really look good, but am afraid to read it because of my own childhood abuse. in addition, I read an excerpt where her lover reminded me of predator, all the way down to the cigarette.. ick. It is especially painful to read about a parent who’s such a monster that they could possibly bring such heinous harm to their own child. NO MATTER WHAT. I do applaud Ms. Silverman for her courage, however.
Hope you’re feeling better soon!
xo,
L
Thanks Nap – The honeymoon period IS over. I think my reaction to Steve is definitely a shift for me. I am beginning to look at him and feeltotally disgusted. What is really coming through loud and clear for me is his dependency on me and doing everything to keep me. He seems SO weak to me, and I never felt that before. I need a strong guy!!
I am behind on your post’s. What’s going on with you. Are you still struggling with new issues, or still the old ones?
I really wish we could talk by phone. I would love to meet you and be able to talk instead of posting. You have been such an inspiration to me. I would be willing to call you if you feel comfortable in giving your number out. What do you think?
Same with you Lexie – it would be so much fun to have a real conversation. I would just make Steve pay my long distance calls. He would do it, as he is totally into doing everything to win me over. Ya, like that’s gonna happen.
Thank you both for thinking of me.
I think we can post our phone numbers under our account. I will look and see.Hi Sharron! You have been missed!! I’m so glad you weren’t seriously injured!!! It sounds like even the minor hurts are bad enough!! At least maybe this will take your mind off of SA, even for just a bit!!! XO!!!
Hi silver-lining
My SA took care of me over the w/e, as I could barely ambulate secondary to the pain. I guess he is good for something.
Bring me up to date on what is going on with you.
Thanks for thinking of me.Sharon,
I hate that you fell down the stairs. That is so scary. It is so ironic that his happened to you because for some reason I have this terrible premonition of myself falling down my stairs. I live in a log home and the stairs are trees that are cut in two. I don’t know why I have this image of me falling lately. It probably has to do with have so much on my mind and feeling dizzy with heartache. I do feel like having this kind of thing on our heart, mind and soul makes us off balance. Do you ladies feel that way, or am I really turning into a crazy person?
Anyway, so glad you did not get seriously hurt Sharon. Those bumps and bruises will take time to heal. Be gentle with yourself. Dang, it is not like you don’t already have enough to deal with.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!
Thanks cindy1111- I am feeling better today. The bruises are fading, but my back still hurting. Probably will take a while. Thanks for thinking of me.
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