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Okay, so we’re heading toward THAT season.
Let’s put our heads together and make a list of things that will help us not just get through it, but maybe even enjoy it.1. What to do with the SA?
Should we try and have Christmas or a part of the day together? Pros and cons.2. What about going out of town?
Where would you go? What about children? Pros and cons.3. Do you buy him a present?
Okay, put a box of condoms in his stocking and a vibrator in yours? But really….what do you think you should do?what else do we need to work through?
Let’s see…at my house, everyone (3 young adult children who just learned the truth, me, and my h) smiles and pretends while doing everything just the same as always so that my 12 year old’s holidays aren’t ruined. It’s the same thing I did 3 years ago after discovery in early December.
So are you sure your 12 year old doesn’t know? Both my sons knew about their dad’s porn habit years before I did.
I’m only asking because we get trapped on the holidays in our own heads first. And I’m sorry, March, but I cant remember you still live with your SA or not. Also, someone on this site told me that keeping secrets from our children is a very dangerous thing that backfires. So maybe some else can talk a little about that. But I think it went in the lines of…
when your 12 year old is “old” enough to know the truth, they will then lose that happy christmas memory the way we lost ours after learning what was really going on. And chances are they won’t feel much better about the “secret” than we did.
It just something to consider. Your voice on this site is strong and clear, so I know you aren’t afraid to think about the hard questions. My sons where young adults when it all happened, but as I said they knew about his porn since the first year of high school, and lived with his secret all that time, learning that secrets were okay to have. Hard lesson to undo.hang in there,
D.
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