March Update in February

Teri I think you are amazing. You are one gutsy woman with a big brain and a big heart. I would never have thought you wold have any insecurities. I always look forward to your posts because you offer excellent advice given with love xox

Awww… Let’s group hug and do the Kumbaya thing!

Okay I’m calling a time out while I process the image of SL and March driving around in JoAnn’s “St George’s Island most wanted” pervert car. And to top that all off, it’s a Volvo, which is too damn close to vulva if you ask me.

March thank you for telling us. We are not going to let you go. As your Prozac partner, lets just remember that you and I are depressed and our meds won’t really kick in for around 4-6 weeks. I believe once we both get grounded and balanced, we will not feel so powerless. You will be better equipped to think freely instead of compulsively about what you want for you and Zola. So please hang in there. Meanwhile many many prayers, incantations, goddess spells, blessings and are surrounding you both, with love from the ‘hood.
xoxoxoxo
and of course an extra round of pixie dust.

Kumbaya in the perv car. God, i love this place. 🙂 xoxo

Ok, March, I really tried super hard to get that chronology. I cut and pasted it and parsed it and everything. Here’s where I’m stuck:

Why the hell is a man living in your house who takes money out of child support to clean YOUR carpets?

What exactly is the point of a prenup? So if he relapses you will get 3/4 of what he owns? How much of what he owns do you have now? You’re divorced, so I’d guess you’ve got half. Doesn’t sound like he’s worth THAT much. What’s the difference between 1/2 and 3/4? 1/4? He’d better be worth a hell of a lot before I’d stand in front of that grenade for just 1/4 of it. Plastic surgery and counseling can only do so much. You are waiting on him to pull the pin. What if the grenade hits at 60, 65, 70, what then?

Now, today, you are 50 and sexy, smart, accomplished, admired, a published author, and did I say hot? What the hell has he got that you can’t replace just 1/4 of five times over on your own? It’d be less work than putting up with his ass for 10, 15, 20 years, and less stressful than waiting for your child to watch you blown to bits for an extra stack of cash.

There is some other variable here, I am missing something. I know you wouldn’t do all that just for money. So it must be that you believe you actually can stop him from pulling the pin, from hitting bottom.

march, i didn’t read all the posts, i read yours.

i love you dearly and i really think you should leave that sorry excuse for a man. for good. i know i can be honest and blunt with you – i think you are wonderful. i think he’s a piece of shit. and i don’t think it will ever change for you, he will ALWYAS hurt you, in one way or another.

run for the hills girl, run as fast as you can. waste no more time or energy on his sorry ass.

that’s what i think you should do. that said, if you want to stay and find a way to make it work, i will be here for you 100%

xo

i read all the posts now. i agree with karen’s minwalla for you (and for you too karen!). in fact, march, i believe everything you do right now should be for you.

is it possible to try to live for a week where most of your efforts go to yourself? if you catch yourself doing otherwise, snap an elastic band on your wrist? to train yourself away from thinking about him? to make new neuro pathways that DONT involve him?

maybe small goals will get you there, and big huge chance might be too much. go a whole day without thinking about him or putting ANY effort into him. then two, then three, then a week. then perhaps you’ll start to gain new habits that will show you the strength you already have.

March, I kept reading about your post. I realized I’d missed something important and was determined to find this before the week-end was over. I am sorry you are enduring this. You are a beautiful and talented woman who does not deserve a life like this. I am so sorry.