Miss you all, still alive and kicking………

I have missed you all and just wanted to touch base.

We are all in nightmares, is there an end? My heart goes out to all of you and I continue to be thankful for the wisdom and treasure that each of you brings to this site.

I have struggled quite a bit and when I get in these tail spins, I can’t find the energy to write. Sometimes everything seems so complicated that it is just to much to put down into words.

I really don’t know for sure what I have written last, but I think I had told you all about the fact that I had to take a vocational evaluation. My PTSD was in high gear at the time and I felt it very difficult to follow through with, but I did. The vocational evaluator reported to both of our lawyers that due to my mental state of mind, time was needed for me to join the work force.
…. (I have supported the family by being home for 22 years, but husband is proposing in the divorce that I can contribute $30,000 towards my living expenses)…
So STBXH and his lawyer do not seem to believe that I have been in distress and want proof that I am not able to join the work force. They want me to have a Psychological evaluation. I tell my lawyer that I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of and they are welcome to all of my therapy records, and therapist wrote a letter explaining my symptoms. My lawyers says that he does not think it is a good idea to let them have access to my records and tells me that I should go ahead and have this psychological evaluation.

…( This whole thing is humiliating to me as a person. I have never had to undergo any kind of test like this in my life.) I am 52 years old, been a good wife, mother and contributed to society. I find out my husband is a sex addict, stand up for myself by expecting a sincere recovery from him, he decides he wants a divorce, and I am the one who is having to take all kinds of evaluations??????…..

So I am subjected to having to go to a neutral psychologist and expected to tell from the start and explain my whole life history and rehash all of the trauma involving all the Sex addiction bull shit. I have to take several test to determine my mental stability and be subjected to knowing that I am being analyzed by all of these people. In the mean time my husband, who is really the screwed up person, continues to work in the business that we started and continue on in his life as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. Living with his new girlfriend, he can just carry on in his life without the hassle of a wife who is being thrown around like a nutcase because she has been reeling from the aftermath of discovering her husband is a sex addict.

I feel like I have been so discriminated against. I am dealing with the bias of people who either do not believe in or do not have the knowledge level of the effects of sex addiction on the spouse. I am also being discriminated against because I have supported the family by being home.

So let me understand this::::

* My husbands income level and traveling abroad afforded us the lifestyle for me to support the family from home. This is a choice we both made. He wanted to retire by owning his own business, which he had to do sooner than he expected because he got fired from two executive positions. This all happened at the same time that the Sex addiction was discovered.

* Although the plan was for me to help him in the business, he does not want me around because …..(it is to hard to be around me since the discovery of his Sex Addiction)…. ….you all know about all of the multi faceted bullshit that goes along with it……

* He wants a divorce and now decides that he can’t support me. (We have lived an extremely comfortable lifestyle, now he wants a divorce and he does not have any money?) So he is proposing that I go find a job and contribute $30,000 after not being in the work force for 22 years. Even though I own a business, I am being asked to go find a job somewhere else?

He claims we do not have any money, but yet, I continue to be asked to take these grossly expensive evaluations at a cost of $5,000.00 a piece.

I feel like the court system has taken advantage of my hardship and allowed for a sex addict suffering with obvious mental issues to continue in the abuse of me.

I have no protection other than to go along with all of this craziness at the expense of myself.

All of this because society will not recognize the hardship and trauma involved with being a spouse of a sex addict.

I continue to fight dear friends and I continue to wage this battle over here. I stand for all of us in this. I might go down hard, but I will go down fighting.

Most of you know that my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and died during all of this. I had to drive back and forth from MN to MI to help take care of her. Now my Dad just had another heart attack so I have been busy taking care of him. And if that isn’t enough, my brother who also lives in Michigan had a horrible accident that severed his leg right above his ankle. This is why I have not been on SOS much.

We really can’t make this shit up!!!!!! It is a night mare!!!

Am I crazy? Probably, but you tell me who would not be under these circumstances. And what makes this even harder is that because all of this is pretty extreme, people don’t want to believe it. So it is easier to just label me as crazy.

And after all of this….. and spending another $5,000.00 on psychological testing , the decision is that I do not have a personality disorder but I am under acute stress.

REALLY???? It took all of that for you to come up with that report????

I could have told you that!!!!!!!!!!!!