- This topic has 44 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hey yeah, I like the way Maryreddy is thinking, Girlie! That kind of advice canhelp you try a few things out. You have to get used to being on the other side of things. Now you also have to act like you are still all beaten down etc., so he thinks you are no threat at all.
I know! YOu could try some warm-ups. Like see where he puts his keys and when he’s not around move them somewhere else–somewhere not entirely strange but not where he knows he left them. Gaslighting in reverse. Pay no attention when he tries to find them—offer the ever appropriate—did you check your coat pocket? Meanwhile there are somewhere entirely and he will eventually find them. He’s a control freak, and we are going to help you help him lose control.hahaha.. you made me laugh…. I like that starting out with something small like keys and just move them from where they usually are. ha!! I love that and he will HATE it.. even if one of his shows erases on tivo.. he gets all worked up.. hahahahaha.. you do make me laugh… I love being a part of the HOOD.. if I wasn’t.. I would have told him about my discovery and then he would have killed me all day.. lectures,, ect.. ahole.. I didn’t sign on for this .. no .. but this could be fun , moving things around here and there.. hahaha. gaslighting in reverse.. !! I like that .. I will start out small and then go big.. yes, indeed.. ha!! he leaves his wedding band in the cubby in the kitchen.. maybe I will start with that.. like it fell on the counter.. I like this.. idea.. ha! happy new year you guys.. I am getting stronger everyday.. not as strong as you guys.. but it is coming.. I think I will go move something now while he is still next door at the party.. HA.. what an ahole..
good morning… I got the phone this morning and was able to take clearer pictures of his love smarts whoring sites.. I think I will put the phone back, gaslight him for a week or so and then get it and take it for good…. great ideas sisters… he couldn’t find his keys last night and he went crazy.. swearing that he left them on the desk… and I gave him the polite, did you check your coat pocket? and then glory be , they were on his nightstand.. funny, he must have forgotten that he put them there… HA.. this is going to be fun..
Woohoo!!!!!!!!
Girlie’s gettin her groove back!Sounds like a plan. Remember that the good thieves always run “test” robberies, so go ahead and try a few things and see how they work, how he reacts, what’s easiest etc. Remember, not too many, he will know something’s up. Maybe every few days, his glasses, his phone, his keys, etc. That’s the perfect setup btw for the phone going missing for good. And hey, you can make a joke—-hey honey, first signs of old age!
You must be very much your usual self—don’t get too happy! I honestly think it helps you get your power back. And congrats on the phone pics.
We may have found the first steps for you, sister. Thanks for hanging in there. We pushed and poked, and then we found what might work for your to begin to find your way.
oh yes,, thanks goes to you guys.. it sounds silly,, but just seeing him SQUIRM trying to find his keys.. hahahaha– it is not proof, but I enjoyed seeing him wonder what happened.. he likes things all lined up just so so.. and I honestly don’t think he suspected me at all.. I think he just couldn’t believe that the keys weren’t where he put them.. but hey, when you are leading a double life , things are bound to be not where you put them … HUH? so thanks sisters, for giving me a good laugh and some power this morning.. I think I am even thinking like you guys because I thought of erasing all of those sites , but then I thought the sisters wouldn’t want that.. I want this as evidence.. and I was going to ask him about them,, but then I remembered you guys.. he would have said , oh, I don’t know how they got there.. as if every other man has then on his phone.. so thanks sisters… I know it doesn’t sound like much and a long journey to go.. but much fun and satisfaction on my part.. and good advice Diane … not too much stuff… bc I would have wanted to do that….
FWIW, girlie, I find it EXTREMELY satisfying to scrub the toilet on occasion with my mfpos’s toothbrush. 😈
I was thinking the same thing JoAnn, but maybe she shouldn’t fire both barrels quite yet. She needs to develop her sneaky stealth side one spit at a time. Hint hint.
hahaha… what about if he wants sex? I want to say,, no I don’t want to put my life in danger and sleep with a skank like yourself –but I am thinking that you guys are going to just say I am not feeling well? I want to just rip his head off.. now I have to go get checked for std’s because of something he did.. I am married for 17 years.. I didn’t do this… anyway, lmk .. my guess is you guys say I am sick.. I swear , I think for every time I have to make a sickening discovery or go to get tested for std’s , I am taking something of his.. not just moving it.. taking it.. he has all kinds of knick knacks that he adores.. well, you guys managed to start my year off with a huge laugh and some satisfaction.. imagine he showed me these waterford toasting glasses that someone gave us 14 years ago.. and he said wow, honey we have been toasting with these for 14 years… do you believe how fast time goes.. wow, our new year toaster glasses…. really , sisters, does he live in another world? how can he say that knowing he has sex with hookers? how can he? let me know that too.. just say it like it is.. that will get me a laugh too.. like he is a mfer … really is it bc he is a narc and he thinks that no one knows about his secret life or does he have me in one of his boxes that he always talks about .. this person is in this box, and this person is in this box.. I mean, how could he say that about the toasting glasses?? and I don’t think he was trying to get on my good side.. he really thought it… ? does he think it is okay to have sex with anyone he wants at anytime and still expect his wife to adore and love him? I mean really Diane or a sister,, tell me why he would say that.. I just smiled and thought ugh. get away from me
“does he think it is okay to have sex with anyone he wants at anytime and still expect his wife to adore and love him?”
Yes. He’s not a normal person. He’s a narc. It takes a while for that to sink in. We continue to expect him to somehow be normal. He isn’t. We approach him as if he’s normal. He’s not. the curtain has been pulled back. THIS is who he really is. Not the person he still pretends to be. That’s fake. You are wanting the fake nice person to be the real person, but it’s the other way around. The real person is the narc.
wow, you are so articulate Diane… in all of your posts.. don’t get me wrong, I was swayed by the toasting glasses.. I was wierded out totally.. I thought How could he have sex with skanks , be a skank himself and think oh, look Mary, our toasting glasses.. 14 years of toasts… yukkk.. so now, I think it is sinking in now.. but it is so hard to believe Diane,, bc if it were u or me acting like that, and we knew our wife found porn and torn shorts , then we wouldn’t say that to her.. or him .. we would feel guilty, remorse,, ect.. . now it makes sense in other ways too… last night we played family feud and he had to win at the cost of having 3 of 4 of his daughters crying … little ones.. 8 and 10 and he was smug about beating them.. anyway, thanks for the brilliant post.. a laugh again.. you said yes, he does think that.. WHAT? how could he think that? I guess it is like my autistic daughter.. why does she function like she does…? why does she remember exact times and dates.. of like when a teacher said this or that. at 10:32 on nov 12– because that is who she is.. anyway, I am trying to wrap my head around this.. I do not understand this.. you or I would have never done that with the toasting glasses.. I wanted to break them on the floor.. yikkkk .. yes, they would be sentimental if you had kept your penis in your pants and not based your entire life around your penis or as Liza says his beloved penis activities.. who does that? yikkkkkkkk…. and double yikkkkk
GW – have just read this whole thread. I am so, so glad you have this site. This is a marathon journey, as I have learned here. We will,absolutely want you to get comfort and support for all the horror of this situation. I agree that you should focus on the crisis at hand and take the sisters advice. These steps can provide the foundation you will need for a better life ahead. Gathering evidence, pretending everything is normal, stashing money, getting copies of all tax and financial records – all before he has a clue and starts the process of blaming you, denying, lying, destroying evidence and dismantling your financial records.
Play it safe and play it careful. You are in a vulnerable place and unfortunately nobody else, like your sister, will get it. Sorry, no one gets this stuff but us.
How can these guys do this to us and be so fake about maintaining their normal lives? It is almost an unanswerable question. They are so abnormal as to be so inhumane. So cruel. Such dedicated liars. GW – it just takes a long while of being totally shocked to begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation. We understand your questioning. WE DO.
Keep posting. Be careful. Stay safe. Call Dr. Minwalla’s office to get phone counseling? Have you tried that?
Much love from a sister who got none of this support until SA in my life was,much further down the path of destroying my soul, home and finances. Please, GW, do it better than I did. Cuz at least you know what you are up against.
I am well into my life post SA abuse. Just had an awesome holiday week with all my grown kids. SA’s role – NONE! He is just yesterday’s bad, bad, BAD news. Admittedly easier cuz he was my kids step father. Still, there is a life waiting for you on the other side of this SHIT!
With deep love and respect for you,
Desireethanks so much Desiree… still scary,,, but at least , for the first time, I can get a laugh .. watching him wonder where he put those keys… oh, he would definitely seek out to destroy me if he knew.. he is unable to really do anything around the house .. we had a flood over the summer and had to stay at a staybridge suites for 5 weeks, and he was no help with phone calls.. ect.. and he blamed it on me for bugging him about doing something.. so I know that I have to bring myself and my girlies to a safe place.. wherever taht is in mind or physically.. I have asked him to leave before and he just says no, I am staying .. so he is a true monster… and he really believes he does nothing wrong.. it is so scary .. but today, because of this site, I felt better and that is a baby step in the right direction.. thanks so much for the beautiful post .. and for the hope of life after this .. I hope he falls and falls hard .. wo us of course..
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.