my evil Stbx has now a hot trash in colombia and he is now much more powerful

How did we change how we deal with them? For me, I accepted he was NOT the man he passed himself off to be. I accepted who he actually is and who he is, is not someone I would get all emotionally worked up about. Who he is, is not worth all that stress and anxiety. Who he is, is ridiculous and I am not, so therefore I have little desire to waste emotional energy on him or his insanity. For that reason, I don’t think I hate him, don’t think I love him and I don’t think I anything him…..not really. I just look at my own life and wonder how to improve it, as best I can. My husband no longer acts like a colossal jackass, but I don’t believe it is because he has changed in any way. I believe it is because he KNOWS his power is all gone. He knows that I tolerate spending time with him and I can just as easily spend it by myself. He knows, I don’t need him for anything but money and he knows that he does NEED me. Unfortunately for him, I now KNOW that too. The short answer is, I can deal with him because I don’t think I love him anymore and nor should I. He treated me terrible, broke up our family and hurt my children. Why on earth would I care who he fucks or doesn’t fuck? In a strange twist of fate, he has become to me, what he was to all those pretty, little whores…a walking, talking ATM. If he is lucky, he will be able to keep his ATM in my bank. If he isn’t , he will be located on some street corner, where he probably belongs. I cannot imagine losing ANY sleep over this man. I, do, however, lose sleep over the loss of precious years of my life given up to a fake cause. I now put my energy into trying to find ways to undo the damage and to rebuild meaning and worth into MY life. I suggest you do the same, Harmony. You are young and your kids are young. You can still find a good man…something your H will never be. Hugs, Karen x

Dear Harmony,
I am so sad that you are having to go through this. I know it is hard, but if at all possible please try to avoid contact with him and keep it impersonal as much as you can–i.e. logistics around the kids etc.
I had to get some serious physical distance, but even then at first it was difficult to resist having contact with him. I had to really convince myself (the truth of course) that any and all energy directed towards him was a complete waste. No good could come of it, no lightbulb was ever going to go off in his head, and my continued efforts were draining and hurting me. They were keeping me in his sick dance.
You are a very strong and amazing woman. Find your center, and keep checking in with your own “harmony” and inner wellness. Dont let his crap throw you off course.
Big hugs!
~Bonnie