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I don’t understand why we analyze these guys. It’s like beating a dead horse, it’s overkill. We should be analyzing ourselves and why we are still with them or why we stayed so long. We need to grow and focus on us not them. Just my opinion.
SL – Good luck with your move. Moving bites under ANY circumstances. Try and stay focused on the wonderful future you are moving on.
I have a hard time keeping track of everyone’s stories and who is who. Because I am so knew I think I need to keep notes.
One of the first things I noticed when I started reading the posts here is how LONG a lot of them are and how obvious it was that people here took not only the time to write it but based on responses that everyone took the time to read it. I suffer from insomnia. I have too much time on my hands and I’m long winded. And just think, I type 90% of this on my phone.
BYW: “y’all” is a step in the right direction. You know you have arrived when you start saying “all y’all” 🙂
LOL!! The people I would be moving close to say all y’all “all” the time and I love it!! Real hilljacks, I’m tellin ya! And I love them all!! 🙂
I, too, type all of my posts and comments from my IPhone! Once I get moved, I will have Internet again and can use my laptop! Once I caught SA on home computer with a key logger, he conveniently made sure that Internet access here was no longer possible. Whatever, dude.I’m ok with long posts because I want to give and receive all the juicy deets!! The longer the better! NAP would disagree! (I keep picking on her tonight!) However, she sometimes says more in a one sentence post than I can say in 5 paragraphs! And THAT’S one of the many reasons we love her so much! 🙂
Sweet Dreams, Kim!
Dear Diane,
You did…you are usually way ahead of me. Just the same one cannot emphasize enough how much “bla,blah, blah these men put out and we end up listening to? 🙂Kim, I love your posts. Straight as an arrow.
Silver, I am thinking of you. I know it isn’t an easy task dismantling a life….even a bad one? Still very painful but I know you will be ok. When you get situated i will come up with a few digs for your list…just to help the new sisters 😉
Our apple Acct when we sync our phones shows all apps downloaded. I believe he did the search on google. There is no other explanation. So he’s screwed on that one. Yes YouTube, you porn- there’s endless sites with free shit. I was shocked I got his attention saying I want a divorce. Not sure where that came from since I thought I could ride this out for a bit. He’s not in any type of recovery. He’s stupid if he thinks I buy that he’s got a handle on this. So I will lay down my ultimatums with this tonight and for added fun I will text him saying “we need to talk later”- that ALWAYS ruins the rest of his day he told me once bc he’s rewinding in his mind what he could have done to need a talk. Lol!!
When my husband tells me we need ro talk my day is ruined too. Takes all my energy not to vomit! Ha ha to him.
Kim–I am so glad you’re so technical… and easy to understand! Thanks for putting in the time to write out the directions.
Silver–looking forward to that list!! And, totally commiserating over the move with you. I LOATHE moving. It is the worst thing ever. I hate how empty rooms look. Hate having to be the one to pack it all up too. Can you put on some jammin’ music to help you along? I made an F-U cd the other day using some of the song suggestions I found on here and have been blasting it! Lately, I’ve been going through old pictures and scrapbook type things, trying to get them all scanned or taken out of the house while SA is at work. So, I’ve been doing my share of reliving memories and raging against having to sort out my precious belongings into “keep forever” “keep for now” “trash that looks valuable but isn’t so leave for SA to go through” “scan to make sure it’s really, really safe” It’s exhausting. And I sorted my fall decorations into two different categories: which ones I definitely had to take with me (ie, things my DD had made) vs simply decorative crap that I like but could live without. And I’ll be doing the same thing with Christmas decor. All 20 boxes of it. I can’t even imagine trying to move right now… but I know that’s coming soon too. God, I hate them for all they’ve done to us.
for-now–don’t wear yourself out trying to figure him out. It’s like trying to find a cure for cancer. You simply cannot do it. It’s too complex and people have been trying for years. Like others have said, figure out what YOU need. So many of us are financially dependent and can’t leave. But we’re plotting and working toward that end goal. Is that what you want?
I still take pictures of SA’s texts to his various women. Why? Not because I am checking up on him, because truthfully, it doesn’t do me a lot of good since we’re not talking about it at all. (I’m one of the ones who haven’t confronted my SA yet.) I do it for blackmail purposes. I know it doesn’t prove infidelity in SC courts, but I think I’ll be able to scare the bejeezus out of him. So every week or so, I take some pictures. It’s more a check-list that I follow than a checking-on-his-actions thing.
Hope your talk goes the way you want it to tonight! Keep us posted!!
Love,
Paula
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