Home discussions Sex Addiction Need some tough love

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  • #43934
    kimberely
    Member

    Over my fireplace about 12 ft high in big letters I have that saying:

    FAITH


    O


    P
    –LOVE

    Of course, the letters are better centered than I can do here but they’re in the same arrangement, just minus the dashes 🙂

    I love that you posted the entire passage Bev….

    #43935
    972
    Member

    Last Straw, if you like Shel Silverstein, then you must live Dr. Suess!! My face is ” oh, the places you will go”

    My kids ( and every kid I taught for 13 years can recite the entire book). Suggest it as a must read!!
    Here is a portion:

    On and on you will hike
    and I know you’ll hike far
    and face up to your problems
    whatever they are.

    You’ll get mixed up, of course,
    as you already know.
    You’ll get mixed up
    with many strange birds as you go.
    So be sure when you step.
    Step with care and great tact
    and remember that Life’s
    a Great Balancing Act.
    Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
    And never mix up your right foot with your left.

    And will you succeed?
    Yes! You will, indeed!
    (98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

    KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

    So…
    be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
    or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
    you’re off to Great Places!
    Today is your day!
    Your mountain is waiting.
    So…get on your way!

    #43936
    laststraw76
    Participant

    Oh Yes Bev, I love Dr. Suess as well.

    “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. “

    That’s one of my favorite lines. I just have to live it.

    #43937
    972
    Member

    Then LIVE it dammit!!!

    I really would not tell anyone on this site what to do considering my own fucked up mess BUT your H is one of the sickest pervs out there and doing you so much damage…..

    You can quote Shel Silverstein and Dr. Suess… That means SOMEBODY in your life taught you right!! You can do this. I have faith in you..

    said with much love…..bev

    #43938
    laststraw76
    Participant

    Bev, Somebody did teach me right a long time ago. My mom. She died of breast cancer when I was 16. I miss her everyday. She read me those books, over and over. The more I visit this site, the more strength I get from all of you.

    #43939
    972
    Member

    I`m bawling, ugly crying now….

    You channel that wonderful mother. You think of her every time your piece of shit excuse for a husband wants you to do horrible things to yourself. You think of her every second of every day if you have to. That woman did not give birth to you, feed you every 3 hours, change your diapers, and read Shel Silverstein and Dr. Suess books to you every night so some evil man could hurt you over and over again.

    You owe your mother more than this. You owe her…..

    #43940
    kmf
    Member

    We feel outraged for you Last Straw. When you feel outrage for yourself this will be over.Could you possibly work with your therapist to access your rage and rightful anger. You need it now…to be your shield and to propel you forward. You are too young and pretty to be used as some pervert’s sexual pawn. Do NOT worry about what you did…ONLY worry about what you do next. Put all your energy into moving forward. You are not dirty or discusting or anything bad. You are worthy and something good is waiting for you.I don’t know if you believe? If you do…ask the universe to help you.everyone here just wnats you to e safe and out of the nightmare you are living with him. Karen xx

    #43941
    laststraw76
    Participant

    Omg, you’ve got me going now. You are so right. She did not read to me every night, and hold me when I cried, and brought me to all those dance lessons and swim lessons and every other lesson to make me a well rounded person and love me so much and teach me right from wrong and think I was special so that a horrible man could hurt me over and again. I would be breaking her heart.
    She was diagnosed with Cancer at 35 (the same age I am now). They said it was too late. She was just getting divorced from my horrible narcissist of a father and she hadn’t gone to the doctor for a lump. When she did, it had spread. They gave her 6 months. I was only 9. She said no, no way, I need more time. She lasted 7 years. By sheer will I think. She wasn’t leaving me, I was too young.
    You know, she did it. She divorced my dad, we went from a nice home to an apartment and I survived. She did it while she was sick. She went to work everyday and threw up in bags on the way home just so that I wouldn’t know how sick she really was. It wasn’t until she couldn’t see anymore that she stopped working. She was so strong for me. I need to do the same thing for my children and stop whining. No she never got better and there was no happy ending, but if I make something better out of my life and am happy, then all her work wasn’t for nothing. She always said, “I just want Stephanie to be happy.” That’s all she wanted for me. I should give that to her.

    #43942
    march
    Participant

    Do not let him rob BOTH of you of that!

    #43943
    diane
    Participant

    So you are the same age as your mother when she had cancer.
    Hmmm.
    you have a different kind of cancer.
    Are you going fight like she did, to live as long and as well as she could?
    Don’t do it for her. She wants you to do it for yourself, because you are worth it. Do it because she showed you how. She showed you it could be done, and it was worth doing.
    You don’t need to be afraid. She will be with you when you move into that apartment, when you crawl into bed alone, when you wake up the next day with your whole life to live with integrity, joy and freedom. She will be there.
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
    It’s your life. Go get it.

    cheering from Calgary,
    Diane.

    #43944
    lynng2
    Participant

    Wear her perfume! I am not kidding, try to remember what she wore and get some and put it on every day. Scent passes through all our confusion and touches us in very primal ways. The scent will bring her near to you, emotionally. Wear her strength if you feel you have none of your own. I bet you do.

    What you are describing is exploitation and abuse. Just know that. It is real. It is wrong. There is help. When you are in the midst of it you start to doubt all those facts. At this point in life you may be struggling with learned helplessness and GAS syndrome, a natural and normal result of the surreal nightmare you are trying to survive. Our nervous systems can only take so much stress.

    You are a survivor.

    It takes is a few fractions of a degree in perspective to change the focus from surviving to escaping. Take it one step at a time.

    And you’ve alread done step one. Reach out.

    Check it off.

    #43945
    lynng2
    Participant

    Use all that observation skill and resourcefulness to make a place for your mother’s daughter to be safe! We will help any way we can.

    #43946
    teri
    Participant

    Leave him- what he is doing to you is destroying your soul. You deserve so much better.

    #43947
    sharron
    Participant

    Diane – Your post gave me goose bumps! I totally believe that our loved ones are with us – even after death. Don’t anyone call me crazy!
    Now I have to tell my story. When my sister and I were driving out of state to attend our mothers funeral, we were driving in different cars. The three of us used to play cards and talk about how we would somehow communicate a sign back that there is life after death. We decided we would be simple about it and somehow use the word “Life” to do it.
    While driving, I looked up in the sky and saw the most beautiful sunset-it drew my attention to the sky. In the clouds I saw the word “life” written in the clouds – even the i was dotted. Now my sister is much more skeptical than I am, but when we reached our destination I asked her if she had any signs from mom. She replied, “I suppose you are going to tell me you saw “Life” written in the clouds”. She had seen it too, and again, we were in different cars.
    Call it telekinetic communication, call it just the minds of two sister’s thinking alike at the same time. But, after that experience, I truly believe life goes on, and my mom chose that moment, when my sister and I were not together, to let us know.
    NO, haven’t been drinking vodka tonics. Ha.
    So, yes, I believe you mom will be with you.

    #43948
    helenreddy
    Participant

    The invite from your husband is perverted. What would you tell your daughter to do/respond? “That ain’t no way to treat s lady. No way to treat your baby, your lover your friend.”I ~HelenAm Reddy

    #43949
    972
    Member

    I believe you Sharron. I believe our loved ones are with us.

    #43950
    liza
    Participant

    Bumping this for the new girls.

    #43951
    972
    Member

    This is one of my all time favorites. Stephanie went out and got her life and her mother can rest now.

    #43952
    liza
    Participant

    I still get chills reading this post. The Sisterhood is truly a power to be reckoned with.

    #43953
    diane
    Participant

    I cried all over again.
    what an inspiration Stephanie has been to us. She was so far up shit creek there was no cell service. And she just turned her canoe (I’m Cdn, remember) around took her children back to civilization.
    So let’s remember when we get scared, let’s remember what Stephanie did.

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