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On a scale from 1-10 (10 being the highest rating), how happy are you right now in your marriage to your SAH?
1 – I am pretty unhappy in my marriage, but I gave it a 1 because right now he is probably being as honest as he ever has been.
Thanks for sharing Barbra. Before my divorce I was a 1 too. I wasn’t getting anything out of my marriage except pain and a small crumb here or there, then the wind just blew it away or he did. No consistency.
NAP – good question. It varies by the day for me. If I could erase all the painful memories from my brain and pretend it never happened, then I would say a “7”. My husband is being attentive, remorseful, grateful and loving – although a bit freaked out right now being in the house with his abusive (possibly incestuous mom).
With the memories that haunt me most of the time and make me sad, I’d say a “2”.
Deb
Deb, you cannot erase reality.
A ‘7’ without reality is not wonderful, but it is also not possible to sustain a relationship without reality.
A ‘2’ with reality is horrible. I am so sorry.~ JoAnn
NAP, I am at an 8 with Larry with complete reality. I am happy, living a great life and I know that Larry is who he is and I do not waste my time and efforts hoping he will somehow, someday magically become something different.
Often he irritates the shit out of me, but I have learned to just ‘let it go’ and do my own thing. ~ JoAnn
Thanks Joann – I’m hoping that the horrible images and memories will fade with time and more importantly, not be replaced with more. I’m hoping to move up from a 2 to an 8 (like you). I don’t think that anything above an 8 is possible with these guys.
Deb
I would say a 10- of course, I don’t really count since we are in the midst of the divorce. But when I see all the child molesters, drug addicts, swingers, and prostitutes he was hanging out with…I could not be better with this divorce.
So what does that mean JoAnn? To be an 8 in the marriage and then a 25 to be alone, seems contradictory however I don’t really know shit.
Love, Nap
Before d-day of have said 10. Then 0. I’ve gone from 1 to 2 then back to 1 and then jumpy to 3, etc. very erratic. Prior to my H’s latest stunt in march I think I’d made it all the way to a 5. Then he knocked me back. I hover at maybe 4 now. There are spikes and dips but I’d say an average 4.
Pre d day in Sept 2009 I would’ve said about a 6….since then def a 1….
Btw, my h told me last night he was ready to come home. I said nothing bc I’m not ready at all. Seeing him occasionally suits me just fine right now.
Although still married legally, I don’t consider myself as “married”, so I would therefore say a zero.
for-now – I took off my wedding rings the day I found out about the acting out & haven’t had the urge to wear them ever again. How can you be married to someone you don’t really know?
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