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When people show you who they are, beleive them.
Her life class looks pretty darn good. How many times have we heard this one!!
I have been watching her and recording the Life Classes too, and I just love Oprah.
But, do they ever really show us who they are?
Actually, yes, I think they do.
Predator, picked a fight with me, before he had even met me. Of course, me, being me, ASSUMED that *I* had over-reacted to something. His email was “bottman” something and I had just learned about “spam bots”, so I thought that maybe he wasn’t for real, and he lit into me like nobody’s business.
That was my cue, to make a quick exit, right?
wrong!
Oh, the profound apology on my part… ugh.
As for husband…
much more subtle… but he was in therapy THREE TIMES A WEEK, when we met, and he confessed to me early on. that he had, had some “sexual issues” with some of his GFs, in the past, but……….. they were “ball busters.”
right.
now, of course, I can plainly see, in both cases… (especially with predator), that they did reveal themselves to me… in the latter, it felt like he was being “vulnerable.” and in some ways he was… but it was also telling me, to look out and expect the same to happen to me!
Yes I think they do as well. They will never say hey baby I’m a slime ball. How ever I think that we do catch glimpses and insttead of.saying oh it must be me I’m over reacting, he did not mean it, he must have had a bad day,. He’s a nice guy he would not do that to me. we have to take it for what it is and run when things seem off, because they.are.
Ugh. This really resonates. My SA had some character issues when we first met/started dating. Just little red flags in the back of my head that I excused away. I was really so immature and inexperienced at age 24. I really wish I would have been wiser.
On a good note, thanks for sharing about Oprah’s Life Class Lessons! I plan to check them out!! xoxo
I have thought long and hard about this one? I still cannot see the red flags that should have been clear early in the relationship? As we progressed I thought he was immature and disorganized BUT always cut him slack because of the ADD. 15 yrs into the marriage I STILL THOUGHT I was the lucky one???????????? I really think that it wasn’t until he got me in a place where the power shifted out of my favor that he had the guts to begin to show himself. Despite that, thr majority of the horrific things he did to me he did behind my back and usually with me in another country? I found out who he was with the help of my driver and the security guards in my housing compound. Without their help and their meticulous records…I would never have been able to define how bad he really was. I don’t think he EVER intended to reveal himself to me in any fashion but a passive agressive fashion. He just doesn’t have the personal strenght to face me head on. Really, it speaks volumes that he was able to carry on such a charade with so many people for so many years…..staggaring really? The one good thing I can say about myself …once you show yourself to me …..I never wear rose colored glasses for you again. Karen xx
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