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I have been watching the recent exchanges between my Sisters and new Sister Patsy15. She wrote to me last night bemoaning Karen and Diane’s ‘hurtful’ posts. I replied with simple words about the wisdom and integrity of the Sisters and how often that can misunderstood.
I have not heard back from her.
I did a little research. Her credit card bill showed a Gainesville, FL address. That was enough for me. I immediately deactivated her.
I don’t know her game, but in all of her rants and posts she never mentioned living in FL. Something is very fishy. I don’t know what but I will not allow any sort of deception or deceit on this site.
I am just totally perplexed as to what she had in mind. Is she just a crazy wacko? Is she someone who has a gripe with SOS and just wanted to get in a few digs? Is she real and I am shutting out a woman who truly needs help and support?
Tell me your thoughts, I’ve run out of them. It seems as though every time I get sick or leave on vacation chaos breaks out here. I’ll let you take the ball and discuss it here, I’m going to have a drink.
Love to all ~ JoAnn
She never mentioned living in FL. I also found this strange article while googling her, which eludes to the fact that she may be a transgender:
My grandma had a phrase for what Patsy was doing: Pissing in the family fire. I don’t like it. There was something off there as Diane pointed out. I don’t know who or what she really is, but I do know a Sister she ain’t.
Johann, I have an address as permanent address in the US as do all expats, My address in Shanghai is: 658 Xikang Lu, Building 7 room 704. you may not agree with me about the general feeling on the website, but it’s really really cruel to throw someone going through this horrible shit away because you don’t know something simple like this. I wish you would have asked me. that is my son’s address, and I also have an address in Epping NH with my H family–the Kuders.
If she’s transgender that could explain the use of the c-word. I have a pretty foul mouth, but the c-word is rarely, if ever, used by me, or by most women that I know.
Classic
Ok, so maybe I’m half right. This isn’t your thread, Patsy. You have two already devoted to you. This one belongs to JoHann.
Okay, I just checked the IP address on the original order, and it did come from Shanghai. So, that part is real.
Maybe I jumped the gun, but there is just something that doesn’t seem right here. ~ JoAnn
If you read back through the old threads, the C word has been used here, what twice that I know of, and both people had to “go” because they were upset.
It’s a key word, I’m telling you.
It’s core misogyny and, male or female speaker, it represents everything that is NOT accepted here.
I cannot force you to log out Patsy, but out of decency while we discuss this I ask that you do.
This site is very important to me and to all of the Sisters here, and unwarrented attacks are just not the ususal fare. Whether you are real or fake, the discussions here have been unusual enough to cause concern. ~ JoAnn
if it’s not my thread, am I not allowed to type anything? this is anew rule to me. I can’t believe you are all saying these things.
I feel bad…I think the C word is horrendous, saved for special occaisions–like when your husband rips out your heart.
Can we lighten up? I think we are moving into some territory that is unkind…albeit unwittingly.Also patsy, I ask you to understand that this is a place that could be a target by a disgruntled husband etc, so joann is trying to look out for us. Im sorry if you are feeling attacked. And I can understand why. 🙁 if we were all in a room with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine it would be so easy….this venue poses some challenges.
I was a union activist and did an ACTION abut the union’s discrimination against transgender people. if you read it, you would see my HUSBAND Jason Kuder, who also did this action. Please stop this “witch hunt”
I am sorry if the “C” word is insulting to some people. I think it is no worse than calling sex workers “whores” which you all do on a regular basis. For the love of god, this is so hurtful. and I don’t KNOW why I can post, it just lets me.Dear lovely sisters. I think we made a mistake….Not what Karen said, or what Diane posted, but somehow, what happended here. I hope there is something we can learn from it.
I think a woman who draws out the torturous shit, or sits listening to the torturous garbage that patsys husband shared, may not be in a place to be helped right now…but we all know how quickly this stuff shifts, and also how it doesnt. I remember after some time feeling like Debinca was just circling. But she was indulged here for a long time. I know that this woman seemed to go on the attack, but thats what wounded animals sometimes do. If patsy is gone, and it seems she likely is, than I feel sad. We didnt give her enough time…Im not saying its anyones fault. I do believe we are all doing our best. Maybe we can put some kind of gentle warning–this site can only help you if you ASSUME the sisters here want to help. I dont know how to avoid this in the future, but it makes me sad to think we may have collectively kicked someone when they were down.Her vicious and pointed attack at me and Karen sent me into a PTSD tailspin.
I was awake all night printing out everything I had posted to her threads. And if you doubt me just ask BEv about my “records”. I document everything! (It’s the years of ministry where ministers get scapegoated and accused of many things they never did–several times I have been saved by accurate records in the face of people choosing to lie) Any way, I’m not going to post that record here, but you can look it up yourself. My posts were all concerned, compassionate, and very expressive emotionally. Some were very tender. The one she chose to rewrite and misrepresent was in response to a very clear description of abuse that I considered to be dangerous. I responded accordingly, giving her back the story she had been sharing with us all, and asking her to find a lawyer and talk it through. YOu will note that when I responded to her attack and her twisting my words, she chose to ignore it and find another angle. Like Lynn, I also noted her use of “cunt”, and also her refined gaslighting technique.When she continued to attack me and accuse of terrible things, and after a sleepless night, I had a session with my coach to try and deal with the effect this was having on me. I have been in full blown PTSD. It followed after a terrible day yesterday, and I have been ready for life to end. Patsy was very good indeed. She found my wound and just kept at it. I also think she never expected to find someone like Karen who knew the Asian context completely and was often travelling there still. So she had to discredit her too.
thank you to those who offered support, and I acknowledge that I make mistakes as everyone else does. I do try and correct them, and thank you for the forgiveness you have given me over these years.
Working with my coach, I feel the need to step away from this for a while. I’m not quitting or going off in a huff. I’m just recognizing that I have become a lightning rod on this site, and that means I need to step back. Because, as Lynn pointed out, we are ALL victims of trauma, and my first responsibility has to be to myself right now. I hope that I will do a little writing, and that when I say hello again, there will be something I can share with you, of that.
I’m sorry this happened, JoAnn, while you were in recovery and that I had to bother you about it, too. But you rise to occasion, on this your work of compassion, strength, courage and healing.
talk soon,
love, Diane.
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