Sorry Patsy15–Deception Is NOT Allowed In The Sisterhood

Oh Diane. I understand but I am so sad. I will miss you. Come back as soon as you can.

Diane – my heart goes out to you. I have not followed all of this but you are a rock for me and for most of us I would guess.

Please do make taking care of yourself a first priority. I will be a warm wind under your wings and in your heart.

Love and hugs,
Desiree

That’s very kind of you Bonnie. I wouldn’t have the strength for that right now. It is wonderful that you do.

Diane,

You were yourself, and honest and in no way unkind. Whatever the issues, they weren’t you. They preceeded you by a long shot.

Hugs

God, that whole ordeal sounded so like my mom. Calling names and taking role and lining up the “good” vs “bad” and shaming those who didn’t live up to her expectations because we obviously knew better and so had exposed our hypocrisy. And, she had already discussed our behavior with Dad and he had said we could be trusted to do our best. Don’t we feel bad we let him down?

Creepo

Bonnie,

At first I was thinking, I’m just triggered and personalizing this. Then, no the pattern was so very exact. Maybe she’s unaware, but she’s a master manipulator and pulling out all the stops. Maybe that was in response to pain. Sad for her, but honestly, I’m not willing to take bashing for anyone else’s pain anymore. And it pisses me off to see people bashing here. As I said, it is a sanctuary. Lay down your weapons at the door.

I feel the need to clarify as well. When I said she isn’t a sister, I was not referring to the whole transgender question. I meant that her name calling and accusations were not the behavior of a Sister. I too am sad if she really needs us but the reality is, when you make so many negative comments about a group in general and a couple of highly respected, greatly loved members in particular, it’s not terribly reasonable to expect that same group to embrace you with open arms. It seemed to me that she didn’t want us to accept her as she is, she wanted us to change to conform to her wants and needs and that is neither right nor fair.

I think Patsy is a real woman and I think she’s in some real pain. I think Diane and Karen and all of the other sisters here are real women, in real pain, too. Part of being in any group or on any site is accepting us as we are, or choosing not to. Patsy chose not to, and I agree with Daisy, that I am never going to change who I am again for anyone else. I also believe that if I offended someone, however unintentionally, I apologize and can work it out with them. The only person in my life that I haven’t been able to do that with is my husband. I think our mistake was that the first responses were toward the details and defense and not geared toward understanding where she’s at and feelings and inclusion. I think for people who are “shy” and I believe her if she says that, joining an already established group is terrifying because it can feel like a clique, and I don’t mean that to be a commentary about S.O.S. SOS is great, the women bond on here because they do the hard work of being honest and sharing and laughing and crying together. To a newcomer, it seems impossible to ever think we would be able to be a part of that, particularly coming from the recent trauma and pain and rejection. One of the hardest things for me to read on this site was Teri, saying “Are you listening to yourself?!” , and I thought about it for a week or two and realized that she had given me a huge gift ( Thank you, Teri:) God forbid that Diane or Karen ever change who they are and how they write, but we need to understand that Patsy is who she is and where she’s at, too. I may not have the skills to make it all work, but between us, collectively we must?:)

Lovely post Courtney…

I’m with Lynn. I didn’t have such a horrible reaction because of nothing. It was gut feeling and it hit hard. She didn’t even say anything to me ( that I know of) but I knew that it was off.

Too manipulative….way too manipulative to be accidental or from shock and trauma….

Thanks Daisy, I will live …but it did really send me loopy …loopier? whatever 🙂

Have y’all read the article that JoAnn (Johann) posted? She was a he and her husband was a she?? WTF? Isn’t it interesting that the two people I can recall on this site who used the C$#@ word without hesitation were suspected of being men or former men or whatever. If she is in fact transgender, it appears she didn’t entirely leave her male traits behind.

It’s probably much easier to come slashing after online sisters than where the problem really lies. Shy people can do some really crazy, aggressive things when their feelings are hurt, doesn’t mean she’s not “shy.” I think she had the right to define herself that way if she feels that way about herself. I also don’t think it has any bearing on the subject at hand. What happened, happened and the behavior was what it was.
I could empathize with her comments about shyness because that’s how I see myself, and people in my real world tell me frequently they don’t see me that way.

Not exactly the version I had in mind, hope you didn’t watch it. Think I almost made it to the chorus.

The video accompaniment has pics of women that is not appropriate for here, is what I meant. Triggering.