- This topic has 12 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hi All. I’m sorry I went off the grid for a bit. I honestly have no good explanation for it. I think I needed to put it away for a little while. As if that is possible. I am headed to court tomorrow morning and I will update the results when it is done. I am terrified. It is a 30 minute hearing where no evidence will be presented. Each side has 15 minutes to get the judge to make a “temporary non binding” decision that we will live with until we can get a real hearing late 2013 or even early 2014. He will decide child support, alimony, mortgage payment, and…visitation. This is the part that makes me physically ill. I don’t care about the rest but I want my kids safely with me. Please if you can say a prayer or light a candle or whatever sort of light you can send. I am sitting here in tears. Thank you
Stronger,
How on earth can a judge make a decision with no evidence presented? I am so sick of these courts not being interested in childrens’ safety and well-being. Stronger, I will be thinking of you tomorrow.I hate going to court. I hate everything about it. 15 fucking minutes with no evidence to make the case for you and your kids. You didn’t do anything wrong. Let him argue for HIS support. It’s so completely backwards.
I wish I could be more positive. You will get through this. Take it one step at a time. I always tells myself that lots of other people have survived it, so I will, too. But it is not fun. Take care of yourself afterwards- don’t expect much from yourself and have someone, some time you can vent.
Sending you all the strength of the Sisterhood tomorrow. If tomorrow isn’t a “Red Panty Day”, I don’t know what is. 🙁
Oh Stronger…I am so glad you posted as I think of you all the time and was really worried about you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer your call earlier today but I’m here and can talk if you want to call me back.
I’ll say a prayer for you for tomorrow – I can’t imagine the anxiety you must feel.
Christine
I’m with Teri. How does anyone make a decision about children in 15 minutes with no evidence?
Anyway, I will send you all the good energy I can and I will pray.
Tomorrow is a big day for you and Trish so far. Good luck and keep us posted.
Thank you for letting us know. I’m sorry its just such soul-sucking stuff. We’ll be thinking of you. Just do your best.
I’m back. It’s done. Thank you all for prayers and I really did pace around in the parking lot muttering “the sisters are all with me today”. Perhaps I should limit public muttering and pacing but it helped.
So here’s how it went. Thank you FC for being on the phone with me this morning as I was losing my mind.
I am told today was a win. I’m still kind of numb and my lawyer has warned me to be vigilant as some wingnuts go off the deep end after losing like this. I can’t tell you how awful it was just being in a courtroom with someone I married as my adversary. That alone was soul crushing. How did we get here?
I was awarded alimony and child support (keep in mind this is all temporary to tide over until the actual hearing) He has to keep me on his insurance until the hearing which was a relief. The biggest relief was that there are no overnights until the hearing. He will have visitation 2 nights during the week from 4-6:30 and one weekend day every weekend. He has to give me 24hours notice if he wants visitation. (He was giving me an hour notice via text “i’m on the way to the house”) The biggest moment came after his lawyer had berated me for “letting the mortgage payment fall behind” when Mr has not been giving me enough money to pay it. Moments later I saw on Mr’s expense worksheet that he had written in a car payment…I shoved a piece of paper at my lawyer that said “HE BOUGHT A CAR!!”. My lawyer questioned him and sure enough. He bought a car this week with his children’s home in danger of foreclosure. Is there any limit for these guys?? I gasped audibly, loudly. His lawyer had just argued that there “simply isn’t enough money”. I am so glad today is over. I know we won but I don’t feel it right now. I’m pretty numb at best. Thank you all. I could not make this journey alone.You are welcome, Stronger! I’m just glad I could in some small way help ease your burden. My stomach was in knots just thinking of what you were about to go through with no idea of the outcome. So I’m so glad for the “win” – you have to take those whenever you can! Now go have a glass of wine, relax and enjoy this moment before you have to start gearing up for the next battle.
I am so proud of you. It puts my guts into a knot to think of what you endured. Thank God ( seriously) for the sisters. You were able to pace and know we were with you and Christine was there for you by phone.
I know it has to be surreal to realize that he was trying to admonish you about the mortgage payment while he was buying a car. I guess you would think that since these guys perpetrated the lies that they did on us that we wouldn’t ever be shocked by whatever else they did….
Please try to remember that he is NOT and never has been the man you thought he was. Be sad and shocked at the behavior from the man that you thought you loved but realize he doesn’t exist….. I hope you can put it in some sort of perspective and understand that this person is not the man you believed in ……
I hope you can do something soothing for yourself—a hot bath or shower, or clean sheets and your favorite jammies. That was terrible hard thing to face. I don’t how you did it. It’s just awful to find yourself with a stranger who looks like the man you married. So sad.
But I”m also glad that it was a win. You had that coming, sister.Thank you all. Bev and Diane I feel like they should look different so we don’t confuse them with the man we thought we married. I am up in NJ with family. Had called to say goodnight to the kids and found myself saying I’ll be there when you wake up. So I got here at 1am and glad I did. Got a sappy email from Mr I’m tempted to post. Also got a text from him today giving up his first Saturday visitation. I guess he had plans. I can only hope this becomes the norm.
I can’t believe Mr sent you a sappy email after letting his lawyer berate you about the mortgage falling behind, meanwhile Mr bought a car. The craziness is too much!
No one else but the sisters would ever believe all of this shit.I’m so sorry you’ve been tortured by Mr, but it’s great that the court sided with you for now.
Stronger, that’s almost exactly our visitation schedule- that is a big win if you got that from a judge. I only got that kind of a schedule with the threat of going to the judge with nasty photos.
Honestly- a sappy email? Does he really think you are that stupid?
Glad it’s over and it turned out so well. And you don’t even have to worry about visitation this weekend. Enjoy the break.
- The forum ‘Divorce’ is closed to new topics and replies.