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I was laughing hysterically at these so I had to revive it. I needed to add:
“she ran out of lotion so nothing happened”
“I’m sorry I hurt you”
“it was just a strip club (not a massage)”
“I was playing with fire, but nothing happened”And then he said once “I’m working on things and I need you to meet me halfway.” I said “great, call me when you get there.”
*And then he said once “I’m working on things and I need you to meet me halfway.” I said “great, call me when you get there.”*
That is fucking hilarious. 🙂
These are some favorites:
We went to bed but didn’t have sex.
I couldn’t get it up.
I kissed her and walked away.
I never needed a condom. These women are very intelligent.
I’d say I have been truly faithful to you for about 2 years overall.
( Note: We have been married 37 years now!!!)All i’ve ever wanted to do is protect you
If I had known how much damage it would cause I would have thought twice ( I guess that implies he was thinking)
Why won’t you take any accountability? ( love that one )
How about giving me some room to breathe here?
And best of all
I’m sick – would you leave me if I had leukemia?No – I would be happy if you had leukemia that ‘s an honorable death and I won’t need Diane’s flat head shovel!
I have spent this weekend with my 9 year old nephew and its astonishing how similar their brains are
“The bus took forever”
“A client came in right at closing”
“What do you want from me”
“You’re never happy”
“I can’t win”
“You’re always tired”
“It was a wrong number”
“Those are your sister’s underwear”FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.My laugh for the day 🙂
From this week:
“I was too busy to care about you”
“If I smashed someone’s car, yes, I’d be responsible, and take responsibility, but this is different”
“I keep thinking, why won’t she let me have my privacy? Why does she have to know everything?”
“I am so sick. Can’t you see my madness?”
“See, my antidepressants are proof I’m ill!”
“I’ve been distant/ignoring you because I wanted to give you a relaxing week”
“Thinking about your well being or if I’m hurting you, just doesn’t enter my mind”
“My behavior stops right now”“when are you ever going to get over this?” asked while he was actively screwing around on me in between getting caught. Ugh. So freaking glad its over!
“I wonder if hookers accept debit cards. Where do u slide them?”. Should have been a clue to me.
“This hooker just walked up to me in downtown EAtlanta and gave me her card.” Statement made years before I knew WTF was going on. I found the card in his jacket y years later. Funny thing he didn’t throw it away.
I forgot this one:
“I’m working on step 4, the honest inventory one,
so I wrote five pages about what’s wrong with you.”Oh god Diane–you cant make this stuff up. Unbelievable!
SOT, I have to ask, what is your icon a picture of? Im sure it has some meaning/story, but I missed it and it’s so small I cant tell what it is.Bonnie,
It is a couch with the cushions taken off. My H is very controlling, I am sure you know if you have seen any of my other posts. He gets mad at me if i do not sit on the couch with him while he watches TV (his shows). He gets mad if I look at my phone etc. I cant stay asleep at night dont know why aging stress ? ? ? When I wake up between 12 and 3, I go read on the couch and normally fall asleep.He takes it personally because he thinks I dont want to be in bed with him. I woke up one night and there were no cushions on the couch. I have to make myself reminders because it is a self preservation mode for me to forget all of the names and things he has done to me. Thank you for asking.
That is disgustingly selfish SOT. You certainly deserve better! Hugs.
Oh, and he is a grade A bastard!(I guess they all are or we wouldn’t be here) 🙁My gosh SOT!!! No wonder your sick of trying. He sounds really insecure.
Diane,
Did you xh really say that to you?!?Bonnie,
You’re so sweet sister!!!Here’s my latest pillow quote:
“I would jump in front of a train for you”He actually said that on a few occasions because he LOVED ME SO MUCH!?!?!?!?! Choooo Choooo….
Nap–you probably already know this, but there is a thing called a “train” and Im pretty sure your ex would be happy to jump in the front or the back of one. Ugh!
I’m naive Bonnie……that’s probably what that
asshole was referring to. All this time I thought HE LOVED ME SO MUCH +~.€>.+,^>£>¥,£?’_|¥¥>< |€>£££!!!!!!!“I felt bad for her.”.
The explanation provided by H to rationalize trying to buy a pro an apartment. He would go Fuck her on Fridays. “Dentists don’t have to work Fridays because we have stressful Jobs” My fat ass iworking on Fridays and he feels BAD for HER. More likely u just want a PIMP pad. MF lying SOS
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