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Nap. I FEEL naive.I have no idea what a “train’ is? The things I have learned on this site!
There comes a point when you realize you are WAY better off NEVER listening to ANYTHING they say. 🙁 Of course, when you are trying to make sense of it all and clutching at straws you listen carefully and hope to hear what you need….that is pretty much the moment when after fucking 100 hookers in your bed they say something brilliant like ….Me: “Why did you fuck them in our bed? Why didn’t you go to a hotel? ” Him: “It was more convenient.” I now look back on this exchange and wonder WHF I was asking why he was fucking them in our bed?? Shouldn’t I simply have asked “Why are you fucking anyone else?” or my favourite choice…said nothing and walked away. It occurs to me that their abuse does render us temporarily insane because I can no longer see any logic to the questions I asked when I first found out.Karen
My H never told her (them) his name. Bringing them to our house would have been a dead giveaway.
My dumbass said “Thats why you never saw me im’ing or chatting with anyone when you covertly watched me with Eblaster because that, to me, would be…..slow dramatic pause, wait for it….too personal.
And preferring porn to sex with me wasn’t personal??? Can you say WEINER??!?
No, SOT it wasn’t wtf ever. H had no idea….at all…..NONE….
I laid my 5 page written letter on the bed with copies of Eblaster and took off with my kids….and he called me despondent.
He had ZERO idea that technology was even available….
I had been downstairs with kids gone and he was upstairs just porning away while he thought I was outside talking on the phone….
He was fucking clueless.
This is not my bra – who’s bra is this on my bathroom floor?
“I swear, I have no idea! Maybe the dog found it outside and brought it in!”and yes… he REALLY said that.
Ummm… ladies, I think we really need a “like” button.
When the money my H took didn’t compute with his spending “I put a bracelet on law a way for u.”. This coming from the man that had never bought me a christmas present or birthday present. A few days later I asked to see the receipt. He said ” I took thr bracelet off of lay a way and put the money in the salvation army bucket.”
SOT, the pn was done when he agreed to it after being kicked out the second time, I kept him out for 6 mos. Agreeing to all of my financial demands was just one of a handful of demands before I would consider letting him come back.
While the financials were the biggest positive, I made it clear that my last straw was me discovering another thing. Everything I learned he was doing was because I found it, either by me looking or by finding something on accident. He never once volunteered a confession beforehand. I told him if I find out one more thing then it’s over. I can’t deal with another discovery. If he confesses a loss of sobriety, depending on what it is, then we can discuss it but confessions are not to be abused and I told him not to even think I will give a free pass with “I was just about to tell you that happened I swear but you found out before I had a chance to tell you” when I confront him about a discovery.
So far nothing. I stopped looking after last year. If he’s doing something God will reveal it to me or send me in the direction to find it, just as He has done the other times. Sounds simple but that’s my faith in God. He’s the only one I can trust 100% anyway.
The financials were the sisters’ idea. His supposed recovery is his gig. His financials are mine. I’m going to be highly compensated for everything he has put me through if we divorce due to his sa. I deserve to be, just as every sister on SOS does.
FN, you and the other ladies here are very smart.
Yeah the dog brought in the bra. The Ho set her BF up to get caught. I guess she left the house free balling.
LMAO! Yes – the dog. The other explanation to this was that we have friends and their kids over a lot for parties. Big groups. That one of the little girls took it off and left. The oldest is in 4th grade! WTF.
The worse part… by the next day, he had me questioning myself – maybe he didn’t do anything? I mean who could lie like that? That was 2 years ago. The next day, I received an email from a woman in florida who had met him online and she had fallen in love with him. He had been down there to visit her for a weekend (to me, the kids, familes, he was chosen to train a sales team in florida cause he’s so good at what he does) OMG. That was a double whammy weekend. Good times. Great memories.
I’m too smart for this shit. I hate him.
SOT thank you:-) But he has made it impossible for me to see that too. I hope this will change with this new treatment I start tomorrow. Pretty pathetic. I have my own set of personality disorders going on here!!! I will survive!!!
“I swear,this time it’s really the truth”
“I never stopped loving you”
“I did’t think I would ever get caught”
and my all time favorite, ” I never lied, you never asked”“I only lie about important shit, sex and money” everything else I am honest.
I could never have an affair. I just do my thing.
dr. e tried to say a pair of woman’s underwear I found from clothes I had just taken from his suitcase must be from one of my daughter’s friends. She was 14 at the time. Disgusting. Luckily I didn’t buy it- but can imagine if I’d shown them to her and asked if they were her friend’s? His skank’s underwear?
My favorite is when I would try to challenge his gaslighting and lies, he would often tell me, “You are denying my reality”. No, dumb ass, I am confronting you with your BS.
The one that blows me away, anything discovered, he rationalizes and minimizes or flat out lies about and when the truth is pointed out he always starts with “I guess if you look at it like that…” like the whole problem is the perspective I’ve taken when learning of his “behaviors”.
His continual response was “They were just friends” (escorts he had paid $300-$700 an hour)”
And “I didn’t know that was wrong, I guess it is now that I’m married, thanks for pointing that out.”
And the ever present “I’ll do anything to save this marriage” which is followed by absolutely no action in 19 months on the only 3 conditions to getting back together.
There are some hysterical LOL quotes here. My additions:
“I’m not doing that anymore. “
“I so glad I’m not a slave to that anymore.”
“I had the prostitutes come to the house because I’m too cheap to pay for a hotel room.”
“I thought it was a transsexual when she/he put his finger up my rectum and it felt kind of forceful.”
“I turned down a few of the prostitutes because they were dirty.”Me: Y are you continuing to ride in the ghetto every Friday?
H: Hoping I get shot.I already knew what he was doing because he already told me he “liked the attention” I guess I just wanted to hear it again. Denial is a pretty strong defense mechanism (for me).
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