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Please welcome our newest Sister LiesRSLA.
Liesl wrote in her profile:
I am married to a sex addict.
We have been married for 12 years and have a wonderful little 5 year old boy.
While I was dating my now husband he told me he had paid a prostitute for sex on 2 occasions. I insisted that he seek counselling and because I loved him and saw how distraught he was I stayed. He openly admitted that he did not know why he had done what he did and was very open to counselling & did go.
A few years later we got married. Years passed and soon after my father’s murder I happened to use his PC as mine was broken I then discovered the pornography – I was so shattered.
I was seeing a counsellor who was helping me with my father’s death and when I mentioned it to him he advised me to MAKE my husband come for several sessions. Which he did.
The counsellor helped us so much. He was clean for 12 years and on his 40th birthday (a few days ago) told me that he had paid another prostitute to give him a hand job in our car along the side of a road.
I am so confused! I had told him that if this happens again I’m gone…
I cannot leave him, we have a 5 year old child who loves his father beyond belief.. I still love my husband! I made a promise to love him till death do us part. I am a catholic and believe in the sanctity of marriage.
Although it might sound as if I’m making excuses I honestly believe in the depths of my soul that my husband is a kind and gentle person, a diamond in the rough. He grew up very harshly, his Dad abandoned him when he was 12 and he his mother is a narcissistic only worrying about herself.
My husband is so contrite and absolutely shattered, overcome with darkness and shame afterwards. I do believe him that he is genuinely sorry for his behaviour.
He has gone back to counselling and I have chosen to stay and forgive him… But I need to chat to ppl who are possible experiencing what I’m going through…
This has been a crazy year, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer and I have gained excessive weight – I’ve been seriously considering going for a LAPB and to help me cope with my obvious eating disorder and now this… I need help to cope. And thought being around women who are going through or have gone through what I’m going through could help.
Liesl, I am so, so sorry for all the tragedies in your life, you are an extremely courageous woman for holding it all together and taking care of a young child as well.
We are all here to help you. Our stories, experiences, doubts, rants and friendship will help you realize that you are not alone.
I am sending you good energy and lots of love and light for your journey. ~ JoAnn
Oh Liesl, so much sadness and horror for one person to bear. Please let The Sisters help shoulder your burden. Love, Liza
Liesl,
i don’t have words, your story is so sad… welcome and i’m so sorry. wishing you warmth and love to balance out the insane tragedies in your life.
read here about SA and what it is like for partners. i think you may find you learn a lot from the stories posted here.
lisa
Welcome Liesl,
So sorry to hear of all that you have been through. This is a safe place to share and learn. These sisters have been a saving grace for me, for sure!
Liesl: Welcome and a big hug for you for all that you’ve been through. You are not alone, we are here for you.
Love,
DaisyHi there,
We all have lists of anxieties and fears that jump up as soon as our world is shattered. We feel disempowered when our foundations are pulled out from under us. We think we can’t do some things, or never will be able to. That’s okay. YOu don’t have to make those decisions right now if you can’t make them. Look after yourself and your son. Put yourself back together with a caring therapist. Eventually you will find your way through the brick walls you are throwing up against the pain of this terrible truth. With or without him, you are going to find your way.
light for your journey
D.Liesl, welcome and sorry to hear about your situation. We all know what you are going through. You have alot of people to take care of….please dont forget yourself xx
Hi Liesl, welcome and I am so sorry you have to be here. Just go slow ( sounds like you have had a rough time) and take care of you for a change. You are not alone.
Hi Liesl and a very warm welcome. Read the stories and the posts and you will see you are not alone. Karen xx
Hi liesl
Welcome to SOS.
I’m so sorry to hear of the pain you are in, and hope you find the strength and support you need.
Please make yourself and your son your priority, and take as much time as you need to sort out your feelings and your truth
And as hard as this may be to do, do not worry about your husbands wounded spirit right now, worry of yours. I’m so sorry he’s been through Terrible things and you sound like an amazingly supportive wife, but you have been through something so traumatic. It’s his turn to be there for you, without expectation. Take care of you, heal you.
XxooLiesl,
A warm belated welcome to SOS. So sorry to read your suffering with the murder of your father, my deepest sympathy to you, and now your moms illness. Plus your h struggles. Thinking of you and hope you will post because we help and learn from one another. Hang in there!
Love, NapLies, you have been through so much, enough to defeat anyone. but you are reaching out for for help, and i congratulate you for taking care of yourself, your health and wellbeing. i can only imagine how much shock and confusion and pain you are in, getting it from all sides. first the brutal loss of your father, then the trauma of discovering your H’s secret life that you thought he had left behind, and now your mother’s serious illness and understanding that you are living with a very sick man. it is a good sign that your husband has come to you on more than one occasion. and it is a great sign that you reached out here for help, in addition to counseling. we are here for you. the sisters on this site understand as nobody else can. let us know what you need. post away, ask questions, or just be quiet and read for a while – whatever works for you. we will be here.
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